C Doo Dah's Chitter Chat: 06.2006 <$BlogMetaDatCa$>

Friday, June 30, 2006

RED FRIDAY

Some people are trying to start a silent trend. Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing red every Friday.

The reason? Americans should no longer be silent. We should voice our love for God, our country and our home. We do not have to be organized, boisterous or over-bearing. We dont need no media coverage to reflect our message or our opinions.

Many Americans, like you, me and all our friends, simply want to recognize that the vast majority of America supports our troops. This is not Republican or Democrat, Anti-Bush or Christian, for or against the war.

We should simply show that we support for our troops with dignity and respect.

It should start with you this Friday and continue each and every Friday until our troops all come home. Every red-blooded American who supports our men and women afar should wear something red.

By word of mouth, let us make the United States a sea of red on every Friday, much like a homecoming football game in the bleachers. If every one of us who loves this country will share this with acquaintances, co-workers, friends, and family, it will not be long before the USA is covered in RED and it will let our troops know the American people is on their side more than ever, certainly more than the media lets on.

The first thing a soldier says when asked "What can we do to make things better for you?" is...We need your support and your prayers. Let's get the word out and lead with class and dignity, by example; and wear some thing red every Friday.

IF YOU AGREE -- THEN PUT ON YOUR BEST RED , AND SPREAD THE WORD.

I AM WEARING RED RIGHT NOW (yes and my red thong-ies) AND I WILL POST MY BLOG IN RED EVERY FRIDAY.


IT IS YOUR CHOICE. WE LIVE IN THE LAND OF THE FREE, ONLY BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE. THEIR BLOOD RUNS RED SO WEAR RED!

LET US TRULY BE ONE NATION, UNDER WHATEVER GOD YOU CHOOSE, SUPPORTING THOSE FIGHTING AND DYING FOR US AND OUR OPPORTUNITY TO BE FREE.

A Good List


  • Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
  • When you lose, do not lose the lesson.
  • Follow the three Rs:
    Respect for self,
    Respect for others and
    Responsibility for all your actions.
  • Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
  • Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
  • Do not let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
  • When you realize you have made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
  • Spend some time alone every day.
  • Open your arms to change, but do not let go of your values.
  • Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
  • Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you will be able to enjoy it a second time.
  • A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
  • In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Do not bring up the past.
  • Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.
  • Be gentle with the earth.
  • Once a year, go someplace you have never been before.
  • Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
  • Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
  • Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

HNT 2 Feet Firmly off the Ground

. . .
I have scars that would break your heart
seen others so much worse
been the bottom of the list
when I needed to be first
but still I keep believing
in the goodness to be found
thats why you find me standing
two feet firmly off the ground
. . .
I have heard the rage and anger
the ridicule and blame
the judging of another
that's made in holy name
but what's the use of knowledge
if no hope can be found
you will hear a new voice
two feet firmly off the ground
. . .
reach higher . . .dream
it is only as dark as the shadow makes it seem
and darkest shadows cast by a light
love is the truth of the heart
love is the one place to start
. . .
. . .
betcha cant guess what my favorite kind of shoes are!
(( . . . and dont laugh at my knarled broken up
ex-ballerina toes. they is lookin damm good.
compared. . . ))

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

RIP Eddie the dog


yes, folks, sad sad day.
Moose, who portrayed the mischevious dog Eddie on Frayser, has passed on.
One of my all time fav shows.
...and I dont watch that much TV.

Doo's prayer Ditty for the Day

Dear LORD,

So far today, God, Ive done all right. I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or over-indulgent. I am really glad about that.

But, in a few minutes, God, I am going to get out of bed, and from then on, I am probably going to need a lot more help from you.

Thank you and Amen.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Alphabet Soup


((I stole this from Locutus of Borg ))

A - Available: . . . soon
A - Age: 42
A - Annoyance: Intolerance

B - Best Friend: Joanne
B - Beer: strong-Becks . . . light-Rolling Rock
B - Birthday: Aug 12

C - Crush: Orange
C - Car: new black Tahoe
C - Candy: Dove Chocolate

D - Day or night: day
D - Dream Car: new black Tahoe
D - Dog Or Cat: Have a Lab, want a Pug or Boston Terrier

E - Easiest person to talk to: the mirror
E - Eggs: over easy but we call em dippy eggs
E - Email: 2 addresses for me, 1 each kid

F - Favorite Month: April
F - Favorite color: orange
F - Favorite Memory: my daughter in the Nutcracker

G - Gummy Bears or Worms: bears
G - Giver or taker: giver
G - Gum: Dentyne Vanilla-Peppermint Ice

H - Hair Color: Brown
H - Height: 5' 9"
H - Happy: working on it!

I - Ice Cream: Grape Ice from Baskin Robbins
I - Instrument: I wish I played something, prefer the sax
I - Idol: Mother Teresa

J - Jewelry: simple - gold
J - Jail: never

K - Kids: 2 preteenagers
K - Kickboxing or Finger Painting: finger painting :)

L - Longest Car Ride: longest=14 hr..,most boring=thru Kansas YAWN
L - Longest relationship: 10 years
L - Last Kiss: couple weeks ago

M - Milk flavor: Whole
M - Most missed person(s): Dave
M - Movie Last Watched: Carolina

N - Number of Siblings: just my brother
N - Number of Tattoos: 0
N - Name: Doo Dah

O - One wish: find happiness
O - One Phobia: calustaphobia
O - One regret: wanting too much

P - Pet Peeves: people using the word retard
P - Part of your appearance you like best: mole on my butt cheek
P - Part of your Personality you like best: creative

Q - Quick or Slow: slow

R - Reason to smile: my kids really turned out 2B good people
R - Reality TV Show: American Idol
R - Reason to cry: lonliness

S - Song Last Heard: some Bob Marley tune
S - Season: Fall
S - Shoe: 8.5

T - Time you woke: 6 am
T - Time Now: 830 am
T - Time for bed: 10 pm

U - U love someone: yes
U - Unpredictable: sometimes ;)yep

V - Vegetable you hate: I like them all
V - Virgin: no
V - Vacation spot: Carolina beaches

W - Worst Habits: wasting time on blogs!!

X - X-Rated Porn: no desire

Y - Year you were born: 64
Y - Year it is now: 06
Y - Yellow: flowers

Z - Zoo Animal: flamingo
Z - Zodiac: Leo

Monday, June 26, 2006

Doo is BACK



yeeeeeee-HAW!

Ok, I was suppose ta take the chilrens to my MaMa's fer a couple of weeks, then I gots that hee-bee-jee-bee stuff that Elmer and the kids done had. I guess thats what happen when you take care of everbody, you always end up with it.

PEE-ukes and the runs, then ya good fer 'bout a day but ya feel plumb wore out then it turns on your head and infects your sinuses. I was down, and I mean completely down in the bed, for about 6 days and still aint feelin no good. My ears are all pluggy and I is blowin my nose till it is raw and red.

BUT! . . .
I IS ALIVE!!!

I done thought I was so sick I was gonna meet my maker. And I watched ever show on HGTV & DIY and such so I know how I is gonna remake over this entire house and make good furniture outta flea market shit. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was too sickly to drive still, and I felt poor that the chilren had ta take care of me whilst I was sick (Elmer was in Denver all week) , so I asked Elmer if'n he could help me drive em up halfway, and we met my MaMa and Daddy 5 hours north of here yesterday. At least the chilrens wont have to miss their trip to Grandmas house on accounta me.

Well, I have piles on my desk here, and I gots ta get to it, so I was a just yellin HOWDEE to ya'll and I hope ya'll have a real good week, now, ya'hear?

((and, double the smooches to all who cared to give me advice recently. I am making some tough decisions, and all of the love and advice was much appreciated. I even gots some from bloggers I know and peep at and didnt know they knowed ME! Thanks everbody, I will keep you posted. I love all of my pals in Blogville. What a great bunch of people you truly are. ~ ~ doo dah))

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Thanks everybody

I really appreciate all of the support and advice I have recvd. I am suppose to have left for my hometown yesterday, but became ill and just got out of bed. I guess I picked up what the rest of the family had.

I will be back . . . . . . .

Friday, June 16, 2006

More observations

I just emailed with a blog pal and some things about me and the situation were poignant, so I am clipping those to you also in order to get more comments and guidence from ya'll.

See, I married Elmer because he was not like that. He cooked, cleaned, ran a household, bla bla bla because he had never been married before. So I had no reason to believe he would get lazy and spoiled.

His parents are very traditional, she is very Martha Stewartish, if Dad needs his butt wiped, she would do it. And he is RUDE as all get out to her.

I now see similarities in Elmer, and he doesnt like the way his Dad treats Mom, and when I say something about him being like his Dad, it infuriates him.

My parents were vastly different. They freely swore. Mom likes to say fuck a duck when she goofs. They drank, we knew what they did when they went "road trippin" in their customized van with a bed in it and a 12 pak of beer. We were very free and easy.

My Mom knew about us smokin pot in high school, and even one night took a toke and we laughed til we cried. All my friends called my Mom MOM. Everybody was always at our house, we had a pool and all.

My stuckness is that:

(1) I do not want to hurt him

(2) my kids, dang it is hard to uproot them from all that they have known, friends, school, Southern drawls.

(3) I own an Accounting business here and I would have to start over from scratch if I moved back to XXXXXX, not that it would be a bad thing, because I really am tired of Accounting, been doing it since I was in Jr High, I did my parent's store's books.

Answers - some anyway

Alot of comments (lengthy ones) and alot of emails. I REALLY appreciate all of your support. Amazingly enough, your words were different than I expected. And, to tell you the truth, getting it all out of inside of me was extremely theraputic.

So, to all of you, here are the answers to your many questions and observations:

He makes over 6 digits, so money isnt really an "issue" as he makes it. You would think we were dirt poor. That, and I own my Accounting Practice, which generates a nice income.

I have sat and talked and cried to him. He still refuses to see that he is anything but perfect. Never wrong. He actually blames me, he has decided that I suffer from depression (I think he has seen too many commercials on TV). Anything but to admit he could ever be wrong. When we do talk, or I implode, he will pick up the pace, get some things done. it lasts a couple of weeks at best, and then back to the same ole same ole.

When we talk/argue/discuss, he is so much better of a debater than I am. Ok, I am woman, I cry. I am an emotional creature. I also am the type to wear my heart on my sleeve, any emotion I feel is 10 times bigger than anybody else seems to. My mind races to answer or question or accuse. he can think so much faster than me in the heat of an arguement. he will always turn one word out of a sentence and make it not what I meant. I end up being the bad guy. And I ALWAYS end up saying, thats NOT what I meant, thats NOT what I said, quit twisting my words. So much so, that I even refuse to talk anymore.

Yes, my self esteem was broken down to nil with the first husband, Elmer boosted it up for a bit now it is back to nothing.

The kids - - - ok. They love him. He is the only real father they have known (no they have close to zero relationship with the drunk that unfortunatly is their biological father). Yes, they comment on my sadness and they come to me after hearing something and say "mom YOU were SO right". My daughter and I have glances like best friends do, she will look at me in the eye, knowing, and I look back.

They have both mentioned they want happy mom back. They both say they know I am sad.

I also notice that my son is developing habits of Elmer. He refuses to accept blame for anything, never says he is sorry. That bothers me, because I want him to be a good man when he grows up. Also, if he is suppose to help clean up the kitchen, he will pace around doing nothing, pretending to work but actually doing nothing.

Yes, I plan on leaving Monday for XXXXXX (back home) and spend a week or two with my parents and my best friend. The car is at the dealership today being readied for a 600+ mile trip, you know, oil changes, tires properly inflated, etc etc.

Happy Friday to you all, and THANKS. My heart overflowed with love from my blog pals.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

HNT- the nekked truth

Today I bare my soul, not a body part.

I am really sorry that I am being a bummer, so unlike the goofy giddy Doo Dah, but if you have read my blog for some time, then you will know the situation. Just as I think things are going better between he and I, because I really am trying, things go from good to bad in a millisecond.

I have recvd alot of emails about this, and I also notice that nobody comments on the blog when I am sour. Music is my soul, and when I am blue, it comes out in various songs that I know, my crying songs as I call them. I just cannot bring myself to blog anything positive or upbeat. Hell, I havent even blogged any photos lately. At one time, I posted a photo once a day. So, I attempted to do a few photos lately, and I cannot even get joy from that anymore.

So, sans the fake country fried accent, because most of you know I put that on just for kicks and giggles to make fun of where I live at the moment, I will try to talk. I really am not a country person, I was born and raised and lived in the city until I moved out here to the sticks 3 yrs ago.

I conversed with Memphis Steve a week or so ago on email, and he made alot of sense, from what I told him. This is partially clipped from that email, and I thought that I might put up that because it spilled so easily from me. I told him that I probably would do this. I just annot always find the words to express ME.

This is my second marriage. My first ended because he became a hateful drunk and then that escalated into abuse. Mental and physical. He kept me at home, only gave me how much money I needed to buy diapers and food, told me I was stupid and worthless. The bad shit always happened when the babies werent around, and it wasn’t too bad, a bruised upper arm where he liked to punch me, a cigarette burn on my theigh, a telephone upside the head causing bruised ear and slight chipped tooth, really no huge OMG SHE IS AN ABUSED WOMAN look to me. The one Saturday afternoon he sat on my chest, stinky drunk at noon, slapping my face and poking me in the chest with his finger, choking me in front of my 2 year old autistic son, I crawled to another room, dialed 911 and looked him dead in the eye and said YOU ARE SO FUCKING OUTTA HERE.

Ok, deep breath. Like, I really never ever tell that story. Being Catholic, I believed in til death do us part, and put up with alot many years for the sake of helping him. John Boy was something that I thought would help, be a family man. No, that ended up to be "stressful" and he had to "pull more weight at work" which meant more stress and more drinking. Ellie was a result of a drunken rape. I dont even want to get into that, because that happened more than that one time, so I would just lay there and get fucked and stare at the ceiling, tears in my ears. Do what I was told, no pain.

My current husband and I have known each other since 1982. He came to that wedding when I married the idiot. We had been friends for a long time through work. After my divorce, I went back to school, bought a little tiny house of my own and worked full time while raising the 2 babies. One day, he called me up and asked how I had been, he hadnt heard from me in a while. So we gabbed forever, caught up, laughed. We long distance dated for 6 months, I would fly to Memphis or he would fly to XXXXXX, then he finally asked me to move to this Godforsaken place and be with him. A 20yr pal, now a romance, a genuine good guy, never says the word fuck, everybody loves him, admires him, good job, good man, never raises voice, drinks but not more than 2 to 3 beers so has fun. Best friend. How could I resist?

He is a procrastinator, plain and simple. And beyond a penny pincher, he would actually try to squeeze blood from a turnup. He was a 40yr old bachelor, lived on his own, never married. I spoiled him, I guess, because I am a caregiver. A do-er. I am superwoman, cook clean single mom of 2 kids (1 being autistic) work full time furthering my education at night sitting on the washer/dryer at 2am studying because the noise/movement keeps me awake and I still spend as much time with my toddlers as possible in the bathtub and reading books and they cook and clean with me cause I make it a game. So I move down here and I end up spoiling him. He does nothing. Now he comes home, changes, shits, washes his face, grabs the paper, sits and waits on dinner, eats, watches tv til 11, wants sex when I drop from going nonstop since 5:45am.

Not that the sex is bad. After the first asswipe husband, it took me a while to be able to enjoy it, and he taught me well. Now, he seems to have reverted to goofy play, tickle, be weird, no love love love anymore. It is giggle giggle giggle. He says "mmmm, my sweetie". Never "I love you". I feel like we have gone backward in time. it doesnt feel like lovemaking anymore. I again am staring at the ceiling. He gets pleasure, I do not.

The move out here to the 20 acres has been fun, but we bought this big ole house with a lot of renovations to do, and here it sits, been painted inside, but that is it. Half done projects everywhere. Shit stacked up in every room still, 3 yrs later. He bushhogs the overgrowth from the previous owner, then jumps to another side of the property, and then it all grows back before he gets back to it. Same with the inside of the house. Everything is half done.

So, I sit here, working my ass off owning my own business, day in and day out. I am tired. I am emotionally drained. I am bored. We do NOTHING. It costs money, which needs to be shopped to death before a purchase made. Eat out? Costs money. To take me out, including birthdays and occasions, we need to see what coupons he has or gift certificates from vendors. Imagine asking your wife to pick a place to eat out on her birthday - only pick just from these coupon options.

And, the 5yr wedding anniversary (I have been living here 10, getting married was a procrastination too, I had thoughts that maybe I wasnt good enough to marry, then I think he just settled) was Apr 7, and as I told you then, and I tell you now, still no gift.

I am sad. I am getting fatter by the second because I eat to stave off depression. I now drink every night, partly to relax and partly to feel good. It seems to be the only time I smile. He rolls his eyes at me doing that lately, but I decide fuck off. I don’t wear makeup anymore, no need, dont go nowhere. Cut my hair, all of us, because he has no time to sit in line at a Supercuts for a $7 haircut and wouldn’t pay more than that to get an appt. Ellie's hair is butt length and straight, so I trim it too. Me - salon? You have got to be kidding. Cost is considered astronomical. So I cut it straight across the back and call it a bob.

I want a life. I want to be happy. I want to have fun. I want romance. I heard an old song on the radio from when I was 13 at the roller rink, skating to couples in the moonlight. "Girl I know its been a while. Guess you'll be glad to know, that I learned how to laugh and smile" It made me laugh the other night because my very first crush and I skated to that song. My first kiss. Bobby! LOL so, I grabbed him and put my arms around his neck and I placed his hands on my hips, you know, 13yr old dancing, and just wanted to hold him close and sway and feel him against my body. He got all goofy as usual and made it a joke, humped and swayed fast and I just walked away and said forget it and poured another glass of wine.

He doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body. He doesn’t think of me, like what I might like for my birthday. My wedding ring, for example, we discussed it, he knew I wanted something a little different because that is just how I am, I am an artistic person. I wanted different, maybe square stone and my light green birthstones on the sides. I didn’t care the design, just make it different than anybody elses. I got a round 1 carat solitare, with diamond crusted bands on both sides very old fashioned and traditional, like our Mommas would have got. Its what HE wanted, not what I wanted.

Being Catholic, I really do not want another divorce. I wouldn’t want anything from him, cost wouldn’t be a factor in divorce, we would agree on things first then go to 1 lawyer. I did the rough one the first divorce. I have been depressed about this for years. Then we move out here to nothingville. I am lonely. I want to go home to XXXXXX. I hate Tennessee.

Ok, I have pounded on this keyboard long enough, I am probably boring ya'll to tears. Sorry. I just don’t know what to do, and this seems to be a place where people spill feelings, comments come back as to what I should do. I have been here since 1996 and I miss home more and more every day. I hate to uproot teenagers, now they have accents and move them back to XXXXX where they will be made fun of, then there is school. Half asssed edufuckingcation here in Tennessee, they would have to go back a couple of grades to catch up to the kids in XXXXX.

Mps Steve told me to go to counseling together. Thing is, I have tried to talk to him. He just doesnt think he does anything wrong, he thinks he is the perfect catch. It is his upbringing, he was the miracle child, the boy to carry on the name, he was told everything he did was wonderful and perfect.

Aw, I am ready to leave tomorrow, but you know the real kicker???? I dont want to hurt him. Doesnt that SUCK? he is such a good friend, that I cannot imagine hurting him. Even for the better of me.

So, I sit here and cry over songs that explain my feelings better than I can.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

tear

its raining
its pouring
my love life is boring me to tears
after all these years
no sunshine
no moonlight
no stardust
no sign of romance
we don't stand a chance
I always dreamed Id find the perfect lover
but he turned out to be like any other man
Ive known
raining
pouring
theres nothing left for me here
and
I
wont waste
another
tear

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Sadness

a thin ice
covers my soul
my bodys frozen
and my heart is cold
. . . and still
so much about me is raw
I search for a place to unthaw
something in me
broods love into fear
it veils my vision
leaves my thoughts unclear
my eyes
from blue turn to grey
hoping to mask what they say
Ive been outside
myself
for so long
any feeling I had
is close to gone
Ive been
outside myself
for so long
I have been
in a storm of the sun
basking . . .
senseless to what Ive become
a fool
to worship just light
when after all, it follows night
Ive been outside myself
for so long
any feeling I had is
close to gone
Ive been outside myself
for
so long

Monday, June 12, 2006

Big Ben


Please pray for the recovery of
our injured young American hero
Ben Roethlisburger

Pass The Bucket Weekend

Ok, ya'll know how much it sucks to be the only one NOT SICK and ya hafta take care of ever body else?

Elmer came home from work midday Friday barfin and peee-ukin. This man has been sick like twice in his life.

Then, Saturday morning, sounds of John Boy ralphing woke me.

Ellie never got to the puke stage (yet) but had white lips and stayed in bed.

Me? I was the only hungry one, and I caint cook fer one.

Boring boring weekend, running from room to room with my face mask on and my can of Lysol, checkin and rinsing wash cloths cool. OMG what a life.

Hope everbody had better ones than me.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Friday Feast #97

Happy Friday Peeps! I have done discovered the coolest thing next to HNT. It is called Friday Feasts, and it shore is better than those questionaires we be always stealin from one'nudder. So, ya'll interested, ever Friday they come out with new questions fer ya ta answer, and ya'll can get them at www.fridayfeast.blogspot.com. It shore done made it easier ta think up sumtin ta tell ya'll.


Appetizer
About how much money did you spend on gas this week?

Lemme see, the Enchaladas, Rice and Beans I had fer lunch the other day were about $6, then there was the 5 cans of pintos I bought at grocery yesterday at .47c ea, then the egg salad sandwich I made fer lunch today, figger about a buck of eggs and mayo, the Frito Bean dip, radishes and turnips I picked from the garden were free, and a few this'n'thats here and that maybe a grand total of about $15. . . . why?


Soup
What is your favorite brand of toilet paper?

fug, who da hell cares as long as my azz gits clean 'nuf not to mess my thongie up


Salad
When was the last time you discovered something that you thought was pure genius?

when I done discovered I could teach my chilrens to clean da house, dat wuz pure fuggin genius on my part, shore nuf, cause I hates spendin ever wakin moment cleanin da house.

Main Course
What is the least amount of sleep you can get by on per night?

5 ta 6 hours, I recon. Long as I has 'nuf coffameemee-ina-meemee.

Dessert
June is a popular month for weddings. Do you know anyone who is getting married this month?

No, I is at the age all my friends done hitched up already and they kids are all too young still, and ya'll gotta remember I lives in Tennefukkinsee, so the marryin age is 14. But I shore nuf do has alot of grad-e-ations this year, done spent all my money on other people kids, haint nearly gots nuf to feed my own chilrens. Dats ok, cause we be just eating them coons and possum runnin wild outs here in the sticks, ya know? We dont be goin hungry no time soon.

Bye ya'll, has yerself a good weekend and behave, see ya come Monday.
~ ~ doo dah


Thursday, June 08, 2006

HNT lookie lookie

Alright, I aint much good at this HNT thang, maybe I should try harder.

So, in order to bring myself upta speed, I reviewed my lame past ones and some those that was too much for me ta handle, and I hid fer days after them posts in pure embarrassment.

4/6 - I put up my first HNT of my feet - er flip flops.

4/20 - I flipped the birdie at assholes in this world.

4/27 - I showed you the shoulder in my purty party dress.

5/4 - I got really brave and showed ya the black thong hip shot.

5/11 - I got drunk after bein at the dentist and Chris voted off of American Idol.

5/18 - I licked a candle and got wax on one of my favorite shirts for ya'll. I shudda been drunk (refer back to 5/11).


- - -
Today, I show you my eyes.
- - -
If I close my eyes forever
Will it all remain unchanged?
If I close my eyes forever
Will it all remain the same...
Sometimes It's hard to hold on
So hard to hold on to my dreams
It isn't always what it seems
When you're face to face with me




More Upliftance ((snicker))

FEMALE PRAYER
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
Amen.
MALE PRAYER
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge
boobs who owns a liquor store and a bass boat.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit. Amen
(LMAO - is this better LeChat???)
. . .
Oh and I thinks I'll share my photo of
my masterpiece makin hamburgers last night.
Yes, I was daydreamin.
Give a whole new meanin ta beatin the meat, huh?

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Who Pissed in YOUR Cheerios?

I am having a great day,
sun shining,
Elmer and I getting along
(or at least he is trying),
planning a trip to Destin later this summer
. . . life seems pretty good right now.
SOOOOOO,
to the nay-sayers
grumps
unbelievers in joy
and piss-ants
in this world
who try to bring me
and others down,
I say to you:
WHO THE FUCK PISSED
IN YOUR CHEERIOS?

yeeeeeeeeee- HAW!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

A Little Upliftance for Today :)


I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:13

The road to success is not straight.
There is a curve called Failure,
a loop called Confusion,
speed bumps called Friends,
red lights called Enemies,
caution lights called Family.
You will have flats called Jobs.
BUT!
If you have a spare called Determination,
an engine called Perseverance,
insurance called Faith,
a driver called Jesus,
you will make it to a place called Success.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Validation in Life

Good Monday Morning!

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO excited I got ta tell ya'll this! This is a rare occasion of inner JOY in my heart!

OK, LONG STORY - - -I was invited somehow or another to join this Art Challenge Blog. All them people on there, and they is a ton of em, they is artists and DRAW. OMG they is SO good too. So, I accepted the invitation. www.artblogchallenge.blogspot.com

They do a challenge ever month. One month it was Sci-Fi, another month it was The Secret Lives of Elephants. I was like, OH SHIT, some of these I will not be able to participate in, where I's goin'a find me an elephant here in nofuckingwhere, but alot of the artists skip months. So, oh well. I shore did think it would challenge me ta photo things other than flowers and my barn.

This month, June 1 they done announced it was Las Vegas. So I rack my brain, and tried ta photograph some marischino cherries (ya know - 3 cherries KACHING jackpot!) and they really didnt turn out, maybe if I had fresh Bing ones, that might have worked. The jar marischinos just was yuck. And, I didnt wanna go to Graceland and photo Elvis stuff, BORING. And I not sure they even let cameras in.

So then, one afternoon I spies 3 lemons sitting in the fruit basket. I always buy lemons cause I use them alot in ice tea and club soda and cooking etc etc. So I get these 3 and call it "No Cherries, All Lemons" because pretty much I am a looser. Well, I shore did like the look.

So I submitted 2 of the shots, explained on the blog why I photo instead of draw anymore and thought, well either they accept me or not, I gave it a shot. I also included my fresh eyeballs blog for them to check me out. (By the way, I posted more of my experimental Las Vegas pics there at F.E. go and check em out)

None of them HAD ta comment, ya'll know you bloggers dont really negatively comment, ya'll kinda just move on to the next blog and not say anything if you aint impressed with what I has ta say. If they really enjoyed it, they'd comment.

It is one thing ta hear praise from family and friends, they aint goin'a to say EWWW that sucks cause they dont wanna be hurtin my feelings. But a couple of them Art Challenge people posted cool comments on the Fresh Eyeballs over the weekend, and this 'un actually brought tears ta my eyes. I had ta share it with ya'll!

This is what I call - VALIDATION. When a compadre - a peer - whatever you call it, makes a comment like this, WOW. Seriously, I alternated betweeen a snoopy dance and tears o'joy. It was one of the best moments of my life. Check this out:

Dear Challenge friend, sometimes there is no logic in things that happen to us. When I get into your pictures I can feel poetry. No matter the way to express yourself, you find the way. You make this argentinian, at the other side of the world, to write in english, to share what you eyes imagine. Thats art! A pleasure to meet you. And please keep your eyes open and let us dream with you. --Posted by Leo Batic to Fresh Eyeballs at 6/03/2006 05:57:18 PM

WOW! YEEEEEEEEEE HAW!

Friday, June 02, 2006

I done stole this from the dude who looks like Mr Clean (I have to add him to my list over tare on da side, it is Free Writer, and No I shore nuf do NOT know how to link).

I have mine check with X in dark green, and may add comments in green italics. Have at it, I may do like the LeChat kitten and comment on MeMeMondays on each one I done checked, and maybe some those I didnt.

Do you have:
( ) your own cell phone NO I DO NOT HAVE ONE DONT WANT ONE
(X) a tv in your bedroom
( ) an ipod
(X) a photo printer
(X) your own phone line duh fer the office
( ) TiVo or a generic digital video recorder
(X) high-speed internet access (aka not dialup)
( ) a surround sound system in bedroom
(X) dvd player in bedroom
( ) at least a hundred DVDs
(X) a childfree bathroom
(X) your own in-house office
( ) a pool Momma back home does, dang I miss it
( ) a guest house
(X) a game room the yung'uns call it their living room ala teenagers
(X) a queen-size bed or larger KING BABY only way to go!
(X) a stocked bar how can I be a drunk without one? LOL
(X) a working dishwasher
(X) an icemaker
(X) a working washing machine and dryer
(X) more than 20 pairs of shoes I am woman hear me shop, er ROAR
(X) at least ten things from a designer store
(X) expensive sunglasses
(X) framed authentic art and even some of mine
(X) Egyptian cotton sheets or towels
(X) a multi-speed bike dunno, does a 10-speed count?
( ) a gym membership
( ) large exercise equipment at home
(X) your own set of golf clubs John-Boy uses them in the fields I dont have time
( ) a pool table
( ) a tennis court
(X) local access to a lake, large pond, or the sea the creek in the woods?
( ) your own pair of skis
( ) enough camping gear for a weekend trip in an isolated area
( ) a boat
( ) a jet ski
(X) a neighborhood committee membership LMFAO, yea, the snakes, coons, skeeters and I get 2gether ever once in a while.....
( ) a beach house or a vacation house/cabin
(X) wealthy family members
(X) two or more family cars do the John Deere count? I can go to the store on it.
(X) a walk-in closet or pantry
(X) a yard 20 fuggin acres, I would say YEP got one
(X) a hammock
( ) a personal trainer
(X) expensive jewelry
( ) a designer bag that required being on a waiting list to get
(X) at least $100 cash in your possession right now
(X) more than two credit cards bearing your name (not counting gas cards or debit cards) but I only use the one that gets me points off GM cars
(X) a stock portfolio
( ) a passport
( ) a horse
( ) a trust fund (either for you or created by you)
(X) private medical insurance
(X) a college degree, but no student loans

Do you:
( ) shop for non-needed items for yourself (like clothes, jewelry, electronics) at least once a week
( ) do your regular grocery shopping at high-end or specialty stores
( ) pay someone else to clean your house, do dishes, or launder your clothes (not counting dry-cleaning) HUH??????????????? Isnt that what I squirted them that chilrens out fer?
( ) go on weekend mini-vacations
( ) send dinners back with every flaw what, and I would have to recook them?
(X) wear perfume or cologne (not body spray)
( ) regularly get your hair styled or nails done in a salon Lawd, I fuggin WISH
( ) have a job but don’t need the money
( ) stay at home with little financial sacrifice
( ) pay someone else to cook your meals — not counting McDonalds again, KIDS should learn to cook at early age.
( ) pay someone else to watch your children or walk your dogs can I pay somebody to TAKE them?
( ) regularly pay someone else to drive you
( ) expect a gift after you fight with your partner O-MY-GAWD do people REALLY expect gifts? I am thankful for a "hello" when he walks in the door.

Are you:
( ) an only child
(X) married/partnered
( ) baffled/surprised when you don’t get your way

Have you:
( ) been on a cruise
( ) traveled out of the country
(X) met a celebrity hee hee heeeeeee!
( ) been to the carribean
( ) been to europe Goin to Italy soon! YAY
( ) been to hawaii Gots cousins there, gots ta get there someday
( ) been to new york city no desire
( ) eaten at the space needle in seattle
(X) been to mall of america
( ) been on the eiffel tower in paris aint been to Europe, how couldda I done that?
( ) been on the statue of liberty in new york again, no desire
(X) moved more than three times because you wanted to
(X) dined with local political figures
( ) been to both the Atlantic coast and the Pacific coast Been to Pacific and Gulf, never Atlantic

Did you:
( ) go to another country for your honeymoon Colorado first one, still aint taken second and aint lookin promisin
( ) hire a professional photographer for your wedding or party
(X) take riding or swimming lessons as a child
(X) attend private school us Catholic girls know how ta have all the fun **wink**
(X) have a Sweet 16 birthday party thrown for you

T.G.I.F.F.


Blame Memphis Steve, he started dumb joke day today. . . . .
Anyway, this reminds me of my visit with the
Psychic Dumb Dumb.
(If you havent had a reading, try it for fun)



Jennifer visited a psychic of some national repute.

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball,

the mystic delivered grave news:

"There's no easy way to say this,Ma'am, so I'll just be blunt :

prepare yourself to be a widow.

Your husband will die a violent and horrible death within the year."

Visibly shaken, Jennifer stared at the woman's lined face.

Then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands.

She took a few deep breaths to compose herself.

...With a visible effort, she steadied herself...

...met the fortune teller's pitying gaze..

and in a quavering voice, asked:


"Will I be acquitted?"

Thursday, June 01, 2006

I Spy Private Eye

Ya know, I has been a thunkin of late that I would like to change my perfession. Accounting has become mundane and boring, I feel like a kid tied to a chair bein made ta do homework.

I has yet ta figger out what I really wants ta be when I grow up. Dammm, better hurry, huh, since I am 42.

Back a ways, I dated a Police Chief. He and I were going thru divorces, and I knewed his wife and we were all three friends. Well, truth be known, I didnt really "date" him, we were best buds. He was quite a bit older than me, then he became possessive of me, and I had just shed myself of a possessive overbearing asswipe, so's I shore'nuf didnt need anudder. Ya know?

Well, hangin out with him durin that time was kinda fun. I liked police work, but woulda hated bein shot at. I like detective work.

And, there is my reading. I likes me a good murder mystery. My favorite game growin up was Clue. I loved Barnaby Jones, Columbo, Kojak, Charlies Angels, Pepper the Cop Chick, etc etc etc.

And, over the past couple of days, me and this pal of mine have been discussing a missing person. The plot thickens with every scrap of paper, every search of the local paper, every bit of evidence gathered. . . . . . I am obsessed. LOL I believe we know EXACTLY what happened.

SO, I can totally imagine myself in a Columbo rain coat, nuttin on underneath cept my thong and a holster and gun. Oh, and I would grow my Farrah do back and feather the shit outta it with hairspray. Red glossy lipstick. . . . . . or blackkkkkk with black fingernails and black pumps. YOWZA


I WILL SOLVE THIS MYSTERY, dadnabit, COUNT YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR ON IT!

YEEEEEEEEEEE-HAW!
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