More observations
I just emailed with a blog pal and some things about me and the situation were poignant, so I am clipping those to you also in order to get more comments and guidence from ya'll.
See, I married Elmer because he was not like that. He cooked, cleaned, ran a household, bla bla bla because he had never been married before. So I had no reason to believe he would get lazy and spoiled.
His parents are very traditional, she is very Martha Stewartish, if Dad needs his butt wiped, she would do it. And he is RUDE as all get out to her.
I now see similarities in Elmer, and he doesnt like the way his Dad treats Mom, and when I say something about him being like his Dad, it infuriates him.
My parents were vastly different. They freely swore. Mom likes to say fuck a duck when she goofs. They drank, we knew what they did when they went "road trippin" in their customized van with a bed in it and a 12 pak of beer. We were very free and easy.
My Mom knew about us smokin pot in high school, and even one night took a toke and we laughed til we cried. All my friends called my Mom MOM. Everybody was always at our house, we had a pool and all.
My stuckness is that:
(1) I do not want to hurt him
(2) my kids, dang it is hard to uproot them from all that they have known, friends, school, Southern drawls.
(3) I own an Accounting business here and I would have to start over from scratch if I moved back to XXXXXX, not that it would be a bad thing, because I really am tired of Accounting, been doing it since I was in Jr High, I did my parent's store's books.
See, I married Elmer because he was not like that. He cooked, cleaned, ran a household, bla bla bla because he had never been married before. So I had no reason to believe he would get lazy and spoiled.
His parents are very traditional, she is very Martha Stewartish, if Dad needs his butt wiped, she would do it. And he is RUDE as all get out to her.
I now see similarities in Elmer, and he doesnt like the way his Dad treats Mom, and when I say something about him being like his Dad, it infuriates him.
My parents were vastly different. They freely swore. Mom likes to say fuck a duck when she goofs. They drank, we knew what they did when they went "road trippin" in their customized van with a bed in it and a 12 pak of beer. We were very free and easy.
My Mom knew about us smokin pot in high school, and even one night took a toke and we laughed til we cried. All my friends called my Mom MOM. Everybody was always at our house, we had a pool and all.
My stuckness is that:
(1) I do not want to hurt him
(2) my kids, dang it is hard to uproot them from all that they have known, friends, school, Southern drawls.
(3) I own an Accounting business here and I would have to start over from scratch if I moved back to XXXXXX, not that it would be a bad thing, because I really am tired of Accounting, been doing it since I was in Jr High, I did my parent's store's books.
All this does not matter if you are so unhappy. Hope things come easier for you soon.
Why would you have to move back to xxxxxx?
you did bring up a valid point though.......good to meet the parents as the apple usually doens't fall far from the tree if its a close family.
No matter how much we try to not be like our parents inevitably we end up with similarities in ourselves and our mates.
its a thing you know.
i still think you need a girlfriend that you can laugh talk and bounce stuff off of there.
Getting everything out, as you just learned, makes a bigger difference than you can know.
A good friend once told me...I'm only so big. I can only hold so much inside myself. Its gotta come out and then you realize its not as big as you thought it was.
I wish I was there to shoot pool with you. L:et you vent
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Well, I'm no girl, but I'm here and I can shoot a fair game of pool. Meet me halfway at the Fox and Hound in Cordova?
I hope you make the right decision for YOU. You deserve happiness and if your truly not happy with Elmer than it's time to move on.