C Doo Dah's Chitter Chat: 04.2006 <$BlogMetaDatCa$>

Friday, April 28, 2006

Monday Dumbass


Again, I am askin:


ok, I have a problem with a blogger. I will not say name.

This person will read this, of that, I am positive.

I think this person is completely off their rocker, and I am dammmm glad this person isnt spreading shiot about me on the internet for all of the people in the small town they live in to know.



I looked all over the internet for a photo of a jackass to depict what I think of you, and they were all to cute and not worthy of being called you.

hrmph, ok I get offa the soapbox.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Black Tie Formal HNT

Get this party started on a Saturday night
Everybody's waiting for me to arrive
Sending out the message to all of my friends
We'll be looking flashy in my Mercedes Benz
I got lots of style check my gold diamond rings
I can go for miles if you know what I mean
I'm coming up so you better get this party started
im coming up im comin
I'm coming up so you better get this party started

( I was gonna gives ya just the shoulder,

but decided to include the purty party dress )

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Doo Dah as a South Park Character

LMAO this is SO cute, cept they didnt have no camera like the Japanese Doll one.
So, I is drinkin a Becks.
I am addicted to these games and shit.

Doo Gotta Get Back Her Humor


I have done got it out my system, I is still madder than hornets, and be assured I is makin big plans. I jus' caint keep on bein a hatin person. I is kinda like that Cyndi Lauper chick, I jus' gots ta have fun. Life too short to not have fun, if'n I didnt wants ta has fun, then by gum, I'd be plannin on stayin in this fuckin relationship.

I taint a moper. Dang sure.

That done been said, and keepin wif the theme of Mars/Venus and why I dont unnderstan him, I bring you this ditty that popped into my email recently . Enjoy.

The Last Things Any Man Would Ever Say
10) I think Barry Manilow is one cool dude.
9) While I'm up, can I get you a beer?
8) I think hairy butts are really sexy.
7) Her breasts are just too big.
6) Sometimes I just want to be held.
5) That chick on Murder She Wrote gives me a woody.
4) Sure I'd love to wear a condom.
3) We haven't been to the mall for ages, let's go shopping and I can hold your purse.
2) Hell with Monday Night Football, let's watch Soap Net.
1) I think we are lost, we better pull over ands ask for directions.

The Last Things Any Woman Would Ever Say
10) Could our relationship be more physical? I'm tired of just being friends.
9) Go ahead and leave the seat up, it's easier for me to douche that way.
8) I think hairy butts are really sexy.
7) Hey, get a whiff of that one.
6) Please don't throw that old T-shirt away, the holes in the armpit are just too cute.
5) This diamond is way too big!
4) I won't even put my lips on that thing unless I get to swallow.
3) Wow, it really is 14 inches!
2) Does this make my butt look too small?
1) I'm wrong, you must be right again.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

NWG here is my fridge

I was tagged by MWG to show off my fridge

ok . . . .this the one I had back in Iowa during college

did I tell you I was the fav-o-rite chick on campus?

hee hee hee - aint no snow like dat here in Tenne-fucking-see

FrESh eYeBaLLs


Time to make plans

I once again am borrowing lyrics from a song
Sometimes, music is the only way that I can express myself.
This is how I feel lately.
Written by M. Gerrard, B. Benente and A. Lavigne
Sung on the radio by the fabulous Kelly Clarkson
Living in a small town
And as the rain comes down
I just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'll end up happy
I just pray
Trying hard to reach out
But when I'd try to speak out
Feel like no one can hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something feels so wrong here
So I pray
I could breakaway
I'll spread my wings and
I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes
til' I touch the sky
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness
and into the sun
But I won't forget
all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Friday, April 21, 2006

dreary yo hum rainey ass days

It has rained for 2 Godammm days now. I am in my post-tax-season slump. Normally, I sleep for pert near 3 ta 4 days thereafter, but I haint got there as yet. I shore'nuf needs to.

Well, my soapbox I was a standin on yesterday - well it is now a bitchin box and I is still onnit.

Well, maybe not bitchin an cryin about people in this world today. Just my Elmer.

Elmer is my best friend. But, can ya fall "out of love" with your spouse? I love him as a friend. I used ta love him as a lover, but things (him) has changed, or maybe I just opened my eyes and am tired of the same ole same ole.

He does things that make my teeth grind. Finnernails on chalkboard shit. It is procrastination. Then there is the arrogance. Sometimes, I make a statement, he corrects me like I is a idiot. It is his vocal tone. I hate it.

Dont get me wrong, now, he is a good man. It just takes him forever to get sumptin done. Me, well, I get up and work from dawn to dusk. Own my own bizness, cook, clean, trot the kids to and from school cause I dont like the toofless bus drivers round here drivin like they smokin crack.

He comes home, says as I is cookin last night, "is there sometin I can do to help?" I say, "well, I dunno, lemme see" and as those words coming from my lips, he sits down and opens the paper. It is like he offers just to lay it on the table and say HE OFFERED. It like that everday.

I mean, fuckin get off you ass and just DO IT. Do I have to give directions? Do you not have eyeballs and see the dishes stacked that can go in the dishwasher? Do you not see all the shit you leave layin around in my kitchen/house? Figger it OUT!

He bought Ellie those boink bunnies in April last year. They been in my kitchen in boxes since. Ellie has to change the newspapers 3 times a day, and the house smells like rabbit piss. Last June, my Pa was down and helped Elmer get a rabbit hutch started. When he came again last week, he was shocked to see the rabbits still in the house, and the hutch pushed up against the house in the same condition it was when he left pert near a year before.

(I had since had Ellie keep them in a bathroom off'n the mud room and the door stays shut. Kinda keeps the smell down, but knocks ya offn yer feet should ya hafta go pee pee, that and ya has eyeballs watching as ya pull yer britches down.)

But, that is how everything goes round here. He is really good at his office job because he analyzes everthing. If'n he were to start something here, he stands and over analyzes it for an hour. Or he will sit down and read the paper. Ya know how long it has been since I done read the paper?

We havent taken a vacation since the summer Ellie started 1st grade. She is about to start 7th grade this fall. It surely isnt that we caint afford it. It is the procrastination. Wait to the last minute shit, then the reservations caint be made, or the airfare is too high (less than 2 week notice).

OK, I need to stop before I rant my self into tears again. I just do not know what to do, other than take complete control of everthing myself and just start doin things like it was before I moved down here and married him. Thing is, he gets mad if the decisions arent joint, like redoin this house. In 3 years, we have not completed ONE ROOM. I keep askin to do one room start to finish. No, he hopscotches all over and nothing ever gets done. That and he sits on the tractor doin stupid bushhoggin shit outside. He wont hire anybody to do nothing. Too expensive. BULL! (fyi we make over 6 digits combined)

Maybe I is just still upset about the anniversary gift. Oh, cross that, NO ANNIVERSARY GIFT.

HRUMPH. rain rain go away come again another day little doo dah wants to play

Thursday, April 20, 2006

HNT: What the Fuck is Wrong with this World?

OMG, ya'll better sit on down fer this 'un.

It may be I is havin a little "down" time after doin taxes. Usually I gets a cold cause I am so run down.

It may be that I is feelin a bit worthless, cause Elmer didnt fucking get me an anniversary gift.

It was an anniversary divisible by 5 Godammmit.

It may be that, after 3 1/2 months of taxes and audit day, night and weekends, coupled with a week and half of visitin company (yea, during tax season) is finally over, I can now reclaim my house and clean the fuck out of it since my Godammm family caint even put a freeekin dish in the dishwasher without my help.

It may very well be that I am righteous, but dont fucking tell me, cause you WILL be wrong.

I am a woman, Goddammmit, fucking figure that one out.

No. That not it either.

I am sure that I am completely sane and everybody else has lost their minds all together.

I actually cried at both of these stories on the news. And I gots tough skin.

There are gangs in Las Vegas (and I am sure everplace else in the US) that do these mob attacks on innocent people. For kicks, grins and giggles, I recon, they gets dozens to converge on an innocent person and fists flailing and feets a kickin, beat the tar out of people for NO APPARENT REASON. A certain gang in LV went on a 6 block beating spree, which also included a robbery where the asswipes just all walked into a store, took what they wanted, walked out, came back and beat the shit out of the clerk. In all, I believe the newscast said 5 people were in the hospital.

Nobody was robbed 'cept the store. No apparent reason for the beatins.

Now this next one really made me cry. Primarily because I wasnt sure of where it happened, and when I found out, I was really surprised it wasnt in the US.

Masked men came into an elementary school and beheaded 2 teachers in their classrooms, IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN.

Okay, so it happened in Iraq. Who was to say that it wasnt or couldnt have been in the US?

So, with all that said, here is my HNT for today, and this goes out to all the assholes in this world who have no respect for other human beings.

Monday, April 10, 2006

DooDah's Temporary Hiatus

Last week of Tax Season, I am up to my eyeballs this week more than others.

Might 'er might not be much bloggin goin' on.

Keep checkin, but dont forget ta come on back, now, ya hear?

Thursday, April 06, 2006

O-M-G ! ! ! ! My First HNT

Ok, Ok, so listen up, dog, here is my FIRST HNT.
Elmer shot this of me falling asleep on the floor with Slut-Puppy last night.
Tame, I know, give me time . . . . . . . .

Ode to Caramel, Bitch Bunny

Ellie Mae is devestated. Caramel passed away.

Caramel and Popcorn were Ellie Mae's first critters. popcorn would sit on your lap and look up your chest at you like a puppy in love. He was a nice bun. Caramel, on the other hand, didnt like to be handled, made noises at you, snipped or bit at you when you reached into her cage to change her water or food. Honestly, she was a bitch bunny.

She and Popcorn had 2 litters of babies, all of which were photographed to death, babied to pieces. She really came into her own after having babies and she calmed down and actually became a nice bun to hang out with. We all grew really close to her recently since she had turned over a leaf of sorts and decided she would be nice.

Her litters were timed too close, well, the dern things got loose and as bunnies do, got together. She went to the vet a day after her last litter because of some bloody and oozy mess she was having. I dont think she has been the same since. It did calm her down, because it seems at that time she decided being held and cuddled wasnt so bad after all. I never thought she recovered fully, but a $5 bun wasnt worth hundreds of dollars of vet bills and antibiotic shots. I feel poorly about that, but damm slut-pup Ruby has cost us a gazillion bucks too, and I have to put my foot down somewhere when it comes to these critters. We made sure she was comfortable and happy, and she passed in her sleep at night.

Here are some of my favorite photos of Caramel. God rest her soul.

baby Caramel at about 10 weeks

Caramel about to give birth, making a nest

Caramel's last photo, taken a couple of weeks before death

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Me as a Japanese Graphic

LOL, I cant remember who'se blog I was on when I found this website, but daughter Ellie Mae and me, well we had a TON of fun dressin this thing up and doin it's hair-do and all. You even can change eye and nose structures to fit yer likeness.

Anyway, this is a pert near good likeness of me, overalls and bare feet, camera in tow. Now ya has seen me twiced in one week, and I haint seen YOU.

If'n ya wants to do this (girls AND BOYS) it is at http://elouai.com/dollmakers/new-dollmakers.php it shore nuf is a kick in the pants.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Fighting a WINNING Battle

Aback a bit, I told ya'll that my overalls were a bit snuggly fittin. I started doing some serious walkin around this here land of mine, been doing between 2 to 3 mile a day.

Also, city pals of mine had done that there Weight Watchers and lost incredible amounts of blubber. So, I hrmph my fat country-fried ass into the city for an official "weigh in" and empty my wallet, cause DAMMM, aint nutting worthwhile come cheap, ya hear?

So, I have set an overall 30 pound goal to gets me into the jeans with the ass ripped out that I did look so good in back before I moved here and Elmer started fattening me up. Now, unnerstan, women folk, that this here man is stick thin, and livin with him is torture because he does eat everything and never gains a friggin ounce, and the boy shore nuf likes his desserts that make yo cheeks sweat. So, I gain 30 since we been together (pert near 10 years), and I am lookin pretty big-n-ass-y ifn ya know what I means. Yes, I am a tall'un, 5'9" and I hides it well, but I is the one lookin in the hand mirror at my backside, and, hrumph, I was gettin pissed at myself. That, and I was growin wings under my arms, the shit was flappin like flag in the wind.

Ya know, the first couple of days I was a weepy and thinking I is too stupid to add these friggin points up and figure out how many points my possum-tater casserole was, cause they done had every meat in the WW book, 'cept the good'uns like possum, squirrel, coon, well ya know, good country eats. No grits either! double-hrmph

The chick that leads this group is really a ball of fun, she talks about making Fresca margueritas and doin' things with spray on butter other than sprayin it on my toast. wink wink She tells us to lay down small goals, do not look at the big picture. Ya know, dont try and climb a mountain, but do little anthills at a time and when you is through, the mountain shall have been climbed. Dang she should be a preacher chick, cause she shore nuf did preach it to us.

So, I sets my personal goals at 10 pounds each, seems easy enuf.

week 1 = down 4.2 - YAY! I think I am goin'a stay on this one. That was dangged easy! ok I has forgotten about the teary part, but SHIT I was already down 4.2! I have now set as my 10 pound reward OREO cookies.

week 2 = woops only down 1. hmmm, well, it got mighty cold out and I didnt walk, better walk inside if it rains or is too cold. And I caints fergets my water, gotta pee a pound pee a pound.....

week 3 = easy week, but I was hungry as a dern horse all the time. Ate alot of carrots and turnips. But, hey! I was surprised at a 3 pound loss. I am wearing pants that I havent worn in a year, more inches than pounds seem to have been lost.

week 4 = OMG we had to go to a BBQ on Saturday at a friends, I ate chips and salsa, oh shit. Then, Sunday we went downtown to a Grizzlies game (YAY KICKED SAN ANTONIO's ASS) and dammmmed if there werent no diet foods in the whole place 'cept Diet Pepsi. Dangged good thing I aint really a Southerner, cause I hates Coke, and loves Pepsi. (shhhhhh, dont be a tellin my neighbors). So, the big weigh in is Monday at noon. I gets up, nervous as hell, eat nothing and head into town at 9 cause if I waits til noon, I will have had ta eat somethin and I was going in buck ravin starvin cause I shore'nuf was dying for those Oreos.

YAY ! ! I was down exactly 1.8 which totalled 10 in 4 weeks.


( Hey, them were the BEST DAMMMM OREOS I HAD EVER HAD last night. )


Monday, April 03, 2006

Critters I can do well without on this planet

SNAKES. I hate them to no end.

And where we are, we have found Cottonmouths and other nasty nasty ones that skeer me to death.

So, this yukky Monday, I heads to my office, pulls the blinds to let the sun in, and right out my window I see this piece of shit snake. Now, photo doesnt do this bitch justice, I grabs my camera and went up high on the deck to shoot the bastard (with my camera, but wouldnta minded a fucking gun) and this dude is like thin but 5 feet long!

I sent this photo to my redneck neighbor, and she shore 'nuf assured me this King Snake was a nice snake, and by God, he'd keep the mean ones away!

Screw that, I went out and shot it again, this time with the double barrell.

'Bout pissed my pants. EW, I hates snakes.

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