C Doo Dah's Chitter Chat: 09.2005 <$BlogMetaDatCa$>

Thursday, September 29, 2005

I know I have been blog slacking. . . . .

Ok, Ok, I know, no news, no stories. I have been chewed up one side and down another. Business has to come first, people! And, man, oh, man, am I BUSY.

So, in order to get something on today, I have got my trusty camera out again,
and have to show you my neighbor's cow.

Interesting. . . . . . . . makes me wanna mooooove back to the city ACK


Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Hillbilly Blues

(Gary Rossington, Ed King, Johnny VanZant, Mike Estes)
Getting work ain’t easy in the hills of Tennessee
But things are bad all over my friends keep telling me
Even though I grew up there and never thought I’d leave
Had too many bills to pay, seven mouths to feed
Movin’ to the city was all that I could do
Got them hillbilly blues
People here won’t say good morning, they won’t even take the time
I guess I know just how it feels to have something on your mind
So all I want is to go back home and fish in a mountain stream
This ol’ life I’m living Lord, you know it ain’t for me
They say the sun it shines out here, but all I see is rain
Got them hillbilly blues
Got them hillbilly blues
All I want is to go back home and fish in a mountain stream
This ol’ life I’m living Lord, you know it ain’t for me
They say the sun it shines out here, but all I see is rain
Got them hillbilly blues
Hillbilly blues
Hillbilly blues

Monday, September 26, 2005


I had a totally fucking terrible weekend. I am in the most depressed mood, I could just curl up in bed and sleep for days. I cannot pinpoint it on one thing in particular, just the whole damn thing.

I tried to post a blog this weekend to cheer me up, and the freekin picture would not load. I am so computer stupid it aint even funny, so I dont know if it was me or this blog. I have had trouble with it before, searched all over help for assistance, wrote an email and got some stupid generic reply back telling me to go to help and look where I already had. WTF! I told the chick I had already done that, she sent me yet another generic "look here in help" answer. I HAD DONE THAT TOO! So I told her, and she wrote another email telling me that Blogger did not support that type of trouble. HUH? HOW STUPID.


Then again, the whole weekend blew because the Steelers lost to the Patriots. UGH.

yeee haw. hrmph

You see all kinds of things when you get outside of the city


Here I thought it was just our critters, must be in this fresh air. . .

Friday, September 23, 2005

A mask'd bandit took dem der chi'kins

OK, back to my tale about our short time with Harvey, Leola and Spazzz.

During the weeks that we were able to (cough cough) enjoy the chickens, it was spring and the most enjoyable time to have the windows open. Hell, we couldn't sleep with the windows open because Harvey would start at 5am. During the daytimes, I would sit here in my office trying to work, and all I could hear was that rooster screaming (I cannot bring myself to call it crowing). I started joking with my friends that I was fixin to make Rooster Noodle Soup if the effin thing didn't let me get a full night sleep. I NEVER could have said that to Elmer, he loved his critters and was totally enjoying the experience.

Anyway, the name Rooster Noodle Soup perfectly describes the love-hate-hate-hate relationship that I had with Harvey, and my attempt to embrace this new lifestyle.

Well, one evening just after dusk, Elmer went to let the dog out, and heard the chickens carrying on. By the back door, he got his testosterone 1 million watt beacon lamp (a glorified flashlight that can spot something the full 20acres away) and shot it toward the chicken pen, which was covered top. sides and rolled at the bottom with chicken wire. As he is running to the pen, he sees there is a raccoon inside it, and the raccoon sees him coming. The masked critter was running ON THE SIDES of the pan trying to find his escape. Elmer described it as a curve in a racetrack that actually goes vertical and it looks as if the cars are driving on the wall, this raccoon was a'goin round and round.

Of course, he also described this 'coon as the BIGGEST FREEKIN RACCOON I HAVE EVER SEEN! OMG, IT IS AS BIG AS OUR DOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Our dog is a 80 pound slutpuppie labrador, Ruby, but the slutpuppie thing is yet ANOTHER story you have to wait for)

(oh yeah, and why, oh, why are all of our animals boing-boing happy?)

By the time Elmer got to the pen, the 'coon escaped and he came running in the house with Harvey. Harvey was hurt, but the others were not, as he obviously was protecting them. His injuries were not clearly visible, there was a small bit of blood. We cleaned him up and held him for a while. By the next morning, he was weak and not able to eat; we think the 'coon had him by the neck and broke it or broke his larynx. We put him down as soon as this was clear to us so he wouldn't suffer.

2 days later, we went out to the pen (which, by the way, we doubled the security on) and the other 2 were GONE, vanished, not one sign of them, not one sign of how they got out or something got in and got them . . . . . just a trail of feathers heading off into the woods. We bawled like babies. STUPID CHICKENS. sniff sniff

Now, Elmer sits on the porch with his .22 on his lap, just a waiting. . . . . . . . .

duck season-wabbit season-duck season-wabbit season -
HELL, ITS 'COON SEASON ! ! ! ! ! !


Tuesday, September 20, 2005

why I moved here

Friends thought I had lost my mind,
but where else can I run naked
on my property and not worry?

Monday, September 19, 2005

Harvey, Leola and Spazzz

Oh, woe is me. I promised that I would relive the Rooster/Chicken ordeal, thus explaining my blog name "Rooster Noodle Soup". OK. . . . . (doo takes long deep calming breath)

Back in April, we went to some flea market/critter selling thing-a-mick-bobber down in Mississippi trying to see if some of the toofless rednecks would rub off'n us and we could come back to the farm in our newly found country fried glory. So, we ate a big farm breakfast (urp), loaded up the brats and headed further South into REAL Jethros a'eatin squirrell pot pie territory.

Lo and behold, besides farm implements (Elmer went orgasmic), yes, there were critters (daughter Ellie Mae went, well, all goofy over the animals, because at 11, orgasmic just isnt in Mom's vocabulary when referring to the daughter). Oh, and to tell you that Elmer is NOT overly eating up this down-home back country lifestyle we have adopted is telling you that the sky is hot pink with purple polka dots. He THRIVES on opening the paper and reading the classifieds every day to get my reaction to : "Hey, they have (pick a critter) in the classifieds for only $00.00". Granted, I want horses, but he wants goats, cows, pigs, mules, alpacas, roosters - in short, anything that draws a bazillion flies and eats my beautiful rolling green 20 acres. But, I regress. . . . . back to the tale I was spinnin for ya.

When we rounded the corner of "animal alley", the first tent we came to had chickens and roosters and ducks. As we strolled by the fences, stopping occasionally for my son, John-Boy, to squeel and laugh in delight at an animal projecting waste out the rear chute, we ran across bunnies all piled into cages. Ellie Mae's eyes glistened with happy tears as Elmer said to the toofless lady selling them, "can she hold one?" It was love at first touch, and Elmer immediately bought a white one with brown spots (Popcorn) and a soft light brown one (Caramel) for Ellie. Oh, how I regret allowing Elmer to make that first purchase. . . . .

The next tent had Polish chickens, which I LMAO at with their Phyllis Diller head feathers. Elmer was so tickled, that he bought one for me, and in my apprehension, I named it Spazzz as he promised me that he knew how to take care of chickens.

Then there was Harvey, a majestic white rooster with blue green tailfeathers. Next tent, we found Leola, a black and white speckled hen. (If you are wondering, Harvey and Leola are my Mom and Dad's middle names, my Mother HATES the name Leola, so we laughed all the way back to the farm at telling her the names we picked).

It was dark before we arrived at the house, and the critters made quite a (P-U) mess in the back of my city slicker SUV. We left them all on the back porch until morning when we could see to make them a chicken pen.

2:10 a.m. . . . . . it starts.

Harvey has found the voice he did not have at the flea market. After the first crow, or shall I call it a "down to your bones SCREAM", Elmer starts laughing. I kick him at the second one and tell him to "git his ass out of this bed and take care of his effin chickens". He rolled laughing.

Guess who got up and had enough sense to find a blanket and cover the damn things up? YEEE-HAW.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

No cow wudda been able to jump THAT moon

Holy COW people, did you all see the same moon that I saw at 7:30cst last night? OMG was it HUGE and BEEEE-U-TEE-FUL! We were in the car on our way into the city to go out to dinner, and I wished that I had my digital camera in the car to share what I saw!

Well, an update on my finger. Elmer thought that I needed a stitch or two because the dern thing squirted blood like a stuck pig, but we bandaged it pretty tight and I think I will survive. This typing thing isnt easy, the backspace and delete keys are getting quite a workout from my editing as I type.

BTW, just what does a stuck pig look like when it bleeds? Never mind, that is one area this countryfied former city chick ain't-a-goin to. I suppose that since I have hayseeded myself, I may just have to learn some day.

Well, more on this here farming thing. Since we moved out here now a little more than a year ago, we have gone to the animals. 6 birds, 2 chickens and a rooster (more on those 3 later), 2 rabbits and a dog. Not to mention that my daughter loves everything that has legs, like caterpillars. Oh, and another thing we have out here that we didnt in the city: SNAKES ewwwww. Well, the only time I can handle them is when I have run over them with the tractor's finishing mower. YAK!

Oh and did I say 2 rabbits? Did you all know that on this farm, in rabbit math, 1+1=8 ? And that we seemingly have no control on these furry sluts, because since we found out last Saturday morning that the dumb ass things escaped and got together AGAIN, come mid-October, addition may turn into multiplication, because we may at that time surpass a dozen? One of my friends strongly recommended frogs rather than rabbits. Does anybody sell bunny condoms?

Until next time, YEE-HAW!

bunnies 4 sale, cheap cheap

Friday, September 16, 2005

A smile for the day

I cut my finger fixing dinner last night, and am typing with the other 9 and having a yukky time. So, my planned blog today will have to wait, in the meantime, have a smile on me.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

I am glad I am where I am

(lyrics (except for exchanging gal for boy!) borrowed from "Thank God I'm A Country Boy" by John Denver, Words by John Martin Sommers)

Well life on the farm is kinda laid back
Ain't much an old country gal like me can't hack
It's early to rise, early in the sack
Thank God I'm a country gal

Well a simple kinda life never did me no harm
A raisin' me a family and workin' on a farm
My days are all filled with an easy country charm
Thank God I'm a country gal

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

My choices of hottest men

Must be the mood that I am in, I am in lust with men today.

Okay, I know most will not agree with me, some may laugh. I see these men as all having some common traits: dark hair, dark smoldering eyes, all speak in a low voice, all have shown to be actually human in interviews that I have seen. IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

Hottie number 1: The COLEMAN DUDE from General Hospital
As far as swarthy-ness, he tops the list. mmmmmmmmmmmm

Hottie number 2: Robert Downey Jr.

Problems and all, been on my list for a multitude of years, since I first saw him in that movie where he was a teen addicted to coke. Shown to be human as his real life drama has unfolded, unfortunately, in front of the whole world.

Since he started singing, has moved from a hottie to a MAKE ME SWEAT hottie.

Hottie number 3: John Cusak

I have loved every movie he has made, saw the interview last week with David Letterman and he is so intelligent and real. Watch Serendipity and you will understand.

Lastly, today's pick for Hottie number 4: Anthony LaPaglia.

This is a recent addition to my list, as I have just found his show and have decided his low voice is the cat's meow (prrrrrrrrrrr). Saw an interview about a month ago, I think on "The View", and who doesnt love a man who is so committed to his wife?!?!? Way cool.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005


stupid effin rooster, rest in peace

this blogs for you, I will get that racoon, trust me.
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