C Doo Dah's Chitter Chat: 03.2006 <$BlogMetaDatCa$>

Friday, March 31, 2006

Intra-ducin myself

I have been given so much shit fer not havin my pic on my profile & blogs. Ok, it took me 3 photos and hours of playin with them before I was happy 'nuf to settle on this'en.

Then, the dern blog wouldnt upload one from my pc, had to post this and then use the URL, well, much too confusin' fer a simple chick like me. Dammmm, I must be the only one on the face of this earth who dont get this computer shit.

YES, I blurred it on purpose. Not my best photography, dern hard to take yer own pic in a mirror, I might add. Well, ya wants ta look at sumptin purty, look at the Fresh Eyeballs blog, cause I taint that purty.

Hi, I am Doo Dah, nice ta make yer acquaintence.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Redneck Horrorscope

Now, jes' so ya'll know, I dont always write this stuff. This came from an email a couple of years ago. Day 'er 2 ago, my Philly pal, Caren, did asked me what my Chinese horrorscope was, and I didnt know.

Well, turns out I am a LEO in normal horrorscope, a DRAGON in Chinese horrorscope, an with this'en, is also a CATFISH. Now, I can see the corrolation with LEO and DRAGON, but when the fuck did I become a muddy bottom sucker? And, just so happens my puddytat whiskers were waxed off just last week. . . . . .

OKRA : Dec 22 - Jan 20
Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okra havetremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds ofhis influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies!
CHITLIN : Jan 21 - Feb 19
Chitlins often come from humble backgrounds. Many times they're uncomfortabletalking about just where they came from. A chitlin, however, can make something ofhimself if he's motivated and has plenty of seasoning. When it comes to dealing withChitlins, be very careful. Chitlins can burn and then erupt like Vesuvius, and this can make for a really terrible mess. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra. Remember that when marriage time rolls around.

BOLL WEEVIL : Feb 20- Mar 20
You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface of things,and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say,you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. Nobody in theirright mind is going to marry you, so don't worry about it.

MOON PIE : Mar 21- April 20
You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It's a cinch torecognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round are the key wordshere. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not.

POSSUM : Apr 21 - May 21
When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency towithdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This strategy is probably notpsychologically healthy, but seems to work for you. One day, however, it won't work and you may find your problems actually running you over.

CRAWFISH : May 22 - June 21
Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're always hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golfcourse, the bathtub to the living room. You tend to be not particularly attractivephysically, but you have very, very good heads.

COLLARDS : June 22- July 23
Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the "melting pot" oflife and share their essence with the essence of those around them. Collards makegood social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personallife goes, if you are Collards, stay away from Moon Pies. It just won't work. Saveyourself a lot of heartache.

CATFISH : July 24 - Aug 23
Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one: Whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. Your catfish are never easy people to understand. You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.

GRITS : Aug 24 - Sept 23
Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel, thought so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or butter or eggs. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well.

BOILED PEANUTS : Sept 24 - Oct 23
You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best -- your friends and loved ones-may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will probably affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.

BUTTER BEAN : October 24 - Nov 22
Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well with everybody.You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the vine of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies.

ARMADILLO : Nov 23 - Dec 21
You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms and insects. You are a throwback. You're not concerned with today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with anything about today. You're really almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is another somewhat kinky, mating possibility.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

I done been enlightened

ok, so I am a transplanted Northerner, but I DO like my grits now. When I done moved down here, I was a bit quizzicle and apprehensive, cause dammmmm they shore did make a fuss over them. When I finally did get me some, I really did loves them, but when I was-a growin up up North, Cream of Wheats and Cocoa Cream of Wheats were popular.

And, ya has to find just the right place to get them when yer eatin out, cause everybody does em differnt. Dang tootin, they shore'nuf can be troublesome when ya dont liken the grits they is thinking was the best'un ever. Best to shove nasty ones off'n the floor (by accident, 'course).

I found this while perusing the web, and found it quite correct, er, shall I say SC (ie changing Politically Correct to Southern Correct), which is almighty important should ya'll wanna live down here. Naw, pay'tention and git this straight, ya'hear?

The Ten Commandments of Grits

1. Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits.

2. Thou shalt not eat thy Grits with a spoon.

3. Thou shalt not eat Cream of Wheat and call it Grits for this is blasphemy.

4. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors Grits.

5. Thou shalt only use Salt, Butter and Cheese as toppings for thy Grits.

6. Thou shalt not eat Instant Grits.

7. Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits.

8. Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits.

9. Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits.

10. Thou shalt not put sugar on thy Grits either.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

I caint waits fer Halla-ween

As I was a takin my daily constitutional this mornin', I thought I done saw'd sumtin in da thick o da wood. So, I decides to take my ass on in dare, and cudd'nt find nuttin.

But, as Is makin my ways back toward da farm, I spots a log yonder, and derned ifn it aint a smilin at me!

OK, OK I ADMIT, now, I done took libr-tee wif it and done paintbrushed some eyes on da photo-tographic pic-chur, but ya'll can clearly see whys my hairs done sttod uppin my arms.


Dats jus so freekin cooo, I caint even tells ya. I wants Elmer ta git it uppin my porch ta sceer da yung'uns.


Wednesday, March 22, 2006

I Done Been Cloud Dreamin My Days Away

Now, I dont know 'bout ya'll, but I loves lookin at the clouds. Me and this new did-ja-tal kokiak camera and me, well, wes been tryin ta get a good shot of some sunrays ta share with ya'll.

This hain't an easy task, mind ya, but I has gots me a few that hain't too awful bad now. I hope that you can enjoy them, my 30inch flat screen makes 'em look real nice. Le'ssee now. . . . . .

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Lookie what Jethro done did

When we bought this farm, there was this old Jacobson mower in the barn. Full of mice and red wasps, there waddnt a screw, wingnut, clamp or any piece of metal on this whole machine that werent rusted.

And I jus hates to tell ya, Elmer jus aint a fixin man. OH!, but he got hisself some big'un dreams, yep, he can dream real big now. Hes a gonna fix it up and mow the shit out of this field.

So, he takes it to 3 different places in and around town and not a one of them didnt laugh first, then take like 2 months to finally tell us they cant do a thing for it, it is shot ta hell.

Well, Elmer thinks he gets this sucker on the line, "gots me a big'en sweetie", he says to me, "I am going to trade that heap for a chain link fence some dude up'in the road got".

Well, it took some time, but that dude worked every night after work, and scrimped and saved for parts that needed replaced, and they called us up fer a beer one night not too long ago, and this is what we done saw when we pulled in'ta the driveway:

Elmer done lost it. He is so sick over loosing that thang now, he swore he couldda done it hadnt I let him. ME?????

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