C Doo Dah's Chitter Chat: 02.2006 <$BlogMetaDatCa$>

Friday, February 24, 2006


This blog post was created at 10am cst on March 9, 2006.
Why in the heck does it say February 24, 2006 at 5:27pm ?

My Daily Constitutional

Well, folks, I have gained considerable weight over the winter,, and the ole overalls aint a fittin so good no mo. Now, I am a tall woman, and ya'll might not SEE it on me, but I can sure nuf feels it. I feel like a SLUG.

So, I have taken to walkin this beautiful 20 acres of mine. Yep, weather is fine, and soon so shall I be.

So, as is a walkin this morning, a thought strikes me in the head. Wait, nope it was one of those flucking gum balls. Now, having lived all my life up North (transplanted down here 10 years ago), the goal in my life has become the eradication of suck a stupid flucking tree. Now, you who dont have the distinct pleasure of living down here, let me fill you in on what I call "DEVIL'S BALLS". Take a look see:

This seed from HELL has twisted my freekin ankle more times than I can count. Now, mighty oaks put out alot of acorns, but these stuppid arse gunfuckingball trees put out a bazillion of these slutseeds and I cannot for the life of me figure out the beginning and end of seed droppin season. They fall ALL FUCKING YEAR LONG.

OK, that is out my system, mooooooooving along. . . . . . . .

First thing I sees on my constitutional this morning is Ellie's dead snowman. I said a small prayer, and covered his eyes with the bicycle hat. Damn if'n I know why the deer h'aint ate the carrot, they sure do like all the other vegitation on my property. Any who, looks like he died happy, and I sure nuf hope I do too.

Just breathing the air this morning fills me with a marvelous feeling. Winter is gone, spring done sprung. My feel are happy, I am at a good pace and my long legs are quivvering with excitement at exercise. Awwww, spring and all the things we need to do. Like reminding Ellie to clean up the dead snowman.

I was so excited about my walk today, because a month ago, the jonquils started. I thought our snow we had and then the ice storm a week later would have killed them off, but I could see from the kitchen window that they were starting to regenerate, and I wanted so bad to fill my kitchen with Jonquils and daffodils. So, here is my field, I hope that you enjoy the view. Another week, these things will be completely yellow.

From the dead, new life springs eternal. Or something like that. I'm going to get my ashes on my forehead tonight. Through death (ashes to ashes) we find new life. I am so excited about the start of this Lenten season. Die to your old ways and find the peace that you have always wanted. Spend some quiet time with the Lord. I did today.


Tumbleweeds in the Kitchen

Of late, I have had tumbleweeds in my kitchen. Now, mind you, these arent the kind that used to be a plant. These are hairball-tumbleweeds, 100% created by THE one and ONLY slut-puppy, Ruby.

So, during these warm-then cold-then warm days, I sweep the kitchen, like, three times a freekin day because of shedding. Elmer insists the dog stay in the house. She was really a sickly pup when we got her, and had to be nursed to health indoors, so, there she stayed.

I swore, when Harvey was chomped in the neck, Elmer wanted to keep it in the house too. I almost thought I'd a hafta kill the old coot, but, he pays the mortgage, and the rooster ended up staying on the porch, in a blanket in a box, until we had ta put him down. (sniffle)

The weather is back up into the 50s and 60s, so, after a tough cleaning this weekend, the dog has been banished to the back porch for the daytime. I do allow her to come in and sleep in her kennel at night, well, selfishly 'cause I had done had enuf of the freekin rooster wakin me up at all hours, and if'n the dog had seen a deer, 'coon or even a shadow, well, you get the picture WOOF WOOF WOOF. Naw, I like my sleepin too much.

Now, if'n you take her out like normal, she runs and plays and jumps, , , , perty much loves the heck out of being outdoors, because after all, LABS ARE OUTDOOR DOGS (as I keep tellin Elmer, Ellie and John-boy). But this spoiled shiot, whined and cried ALL FREEKIN DAY LONG yesterday. Scratched at the back door. Woofed in a weeine dog kinda way. Bugged the TAR outta me.

When she came in last night, she STILL sulked and tried to make me feel terrible. Note the picture, thats all she did, was pout. You'da think she'd be grateful or something. Well, I kept telling her she couldnt come into the kitchen, and the possum stew smelled awfully good, I 'spose.

Well, this morning, I woke John-boy and Ellie to head to school and leave me in peace. John-boy takes the dog out the kennel, takes it out for her business, and brings her in. I said NUH UH get that dog OUTSIDE. I watched out the window as John-boy hooks the line to the dog, she had this hang dog kinda look on her face, all teary and shiot. I mean, what da heck is the difference in sleeping on the kitchen floor and sleeping on the porch? All that dogs do is sleep.

My heart bleeds for her, as I sit inside and sip my coffee in my rocker, and watch her out the window. I almost want to let her in. The I see the corn broom leaning against the corner, look at the clean floor, and I sip my coffee some more, and divert my eyes to the meadow.


Redneck Rap

i'm a white girl but my neck is red
i put miracle whip on my wonder bread

. . . thanks to Scary Movie 2 / Simon Rex wrote these lyrics, but I'm a girl so I fudged it a bit

This ones for you, HelenaHurry

This 'uns fer you, and ta gits my feets wet again.
Sorry, I didn't have any them there sexed up
Vultures in my yard to photograph fer ya.

Can I come'on down yer place with my Kodak?

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