Fighting a WINNING Battle
Aback a bit, I told ya'll that my overalls were a bit snuggly fittin. I started doing some serious walkin around this here land of mine, been doing between 2 to 3 mile a day.
Also, city pals of mine had done that there Weight Watchers and lost incredible amounts of blubber. So, I hrmph my fat country-fried ass into the city for an official "weigh in" and empty my wallet, cause DAMMM, aint nutting worthwhile come cheap, ya hear?
So, I have set an overall 30 pound goal to gets me into the jeans with the ass ripped out that I did look so good in back before I moved here and Elmer started fattening me up. Now, unnerstan, women folk, that this here man is stick thin, and livin with him is torture because he does eat everything and never gains a friggin ounce, and the boy shore nuf likes his desserts that make yo cheeks sweat. So, I gain 30 since we been together (pert near 10 years), and I am lookin pretty big-n-ass-y ifn ya know what I means. Yes, I am a tall'un, 5'9" and I hides it well, but I is the one lookin in the hand mirror at my backside, and, hrumph, I was gettin pissed at myself. That, and I was growin wings under my arms, the shit was flappin like flag in the wind.
Ya know, the first couple of days I was a weepy and thinking I is too stupid to add these friggin points up and figure out how many points my possum-tater casserole was, cause they done had every meat in the WW book, 'cept the good'uns like possum, squirrel, coon, well ya know, good country eats. No grits either! double-hrmph
The chick that leads this group is really a ball of fun, she talks about making Fresca margueritas and doin' things with spray on butter other than sprayin it on my toast. wink wink She tells us to lay down small goals, do not look at the big picture. Ya know, dont try and climb a mountain, but do little anthills at a time and when you is through, the mountain shall have been climbed. Dang she should be a preacher chick, cause she shore nuf did preach it to us.
So, I sets my personal goals at 10 pounds each, seems easy enuf.
week 1 = down 4.2 - YAY! I think I am goin'a stay on this one. That was dangged easy! ok I has forgotten about the teary part, but SHIT I was already down 4.2! I have now set as my 10 pound reward OREO cookies.
week 2 = woops only down 1. hmmm, well, it got mighty cold out and I didnt walk, better walk inside if it rains or is too cold. And I caints fergets my water, gotta pee a pound pee a pound.....
week 3 = easy week, but I was hungry as a dern horse all the time. Ate alot of carrots and turnips. But, hey! I was surprised at a 3 pound loss. I am wearing pants that I havent worn in a year, more inches than pounds seem to have been lost.
week 4 = OMG we had to go to a BBQ on Saturday at a friends, I ate chips and salsa, oh shit. Then, Sunday we went downtown to a Grizzlies game (YAY KICKED SAN ANTONIO's ASS) and dammmmed if there werent no diet foods in the whole place 'cept Diet Pepsi. Dangged good thing I aint really a Southerner, cause I hates Coke, and loves Pepsi. (shhhhhh, dont be a tellin my neighbors). So, the big weigh in is Monday at noon. I gets up, nervous as hell, eat nothing and head into town at 9 cause if I waits til noon, I will have had ta eat somethin and I was going in buck ravin starvin cause I shore'nuf was dying for those Oreos.
Also, city pals of mine had done that there Weight Watchers and lost incredible amounts of blubber. So, I hrmph my fat country-fried ass into the city for an official "weigh in" and empty my wallet, cause DAMMM, aint nutting worthwhile come cheap, ya hear?
So, I have set an overall 30 pound goal to gets me into the jeans with the ass ripped out that I did look so good in back before I moved here and Elmer started fattening me up. Now, unnerstan, women folk, that this here man is stick thin, and livin with him is torture because he does eat everything and never gains a friggin ounce, and the boy shore nuf likes his desserts that make yo cheeks sweat. So, I gain 30 since we been together (pert near 10 years), and I am lookin pretty big-n-ass-y ifn ya know what I means. Yes, I am a tall'un, 5'9" and I hides it well, but I is the one lookin in the hand mirror at my backside, and, hrumph, I was gettin pissed at myself. That, and I was growin wings under my arms, the shit was flappin like flag in the wind.
Ya know, the first couple of days I was a weepy and thinking I is too stupid to add these friggin points up and figure out how many points my possum-tater casserole was, cause they done had every meat in the WW book, 'cept the good'uns like possum, squirrel, coon, well ya know, good country eats. No grits either! double-hrmph
The chick that leads this group is really a ball of fun, she talks about making Fresca margueritas and doin' things with spray on butter other than sprayin it on my toast. wink wink She tells us to lay down small goals, do not look at the big picture. Ya know, dont try and climb a mountain, but do little anthills at a time and when you is through, the mountain shall have been climbed. Dang she should be a preacher chick, cause she shore nuf did preach it to us.
So, I sets my personal goals at 10 pounds each, seems easy enuf.
week 1 = down 4.2 - YAY! I think I am goin'a stay on this one. That was dangged easy! ok I has forgotten about the teary part, but SHIT I was already down 4.2! I have now set as my 10 pound reward OREO cookies.
week 2 = woops only down 1. hmmm, well, it got mighty cold out and I didnt walk, better walk inside if it rains or is too cold. And I caints fergets my water, gotta pee a pound pee a pound.....
week 3 = easy week, but I was hungry as a dern horse all the time. Ate alot of carrots and turnips. But, hey! I was surprised at a 3 pound loss. I am wearing pants that I havent worn in a year, more inches than pounds seem to have been lost.
week 4 = OMG we had to go to a BBQ on Saturday at a friends, I ate chips and salsa, oh shit. Then, Sunday we went downtown to a Grizzlies game (YAY KICKED SAN ANTONIO's ASS) and dammmmed if there werent no diet foods in the whole place 'cept Diet Pepsi. Dangged good thing I aint really a Southerner, cause I hates Coke, and loves Pepsi. (shhhhhh, dont be a tellin my neighbors). So, the big weigh in is Monday at noon. I gets up, nervous as hell, eat nothing and head into town at 9 cause if I waits til noon, I will have had ta eat somethin and I was going in buck ravin starvin cause I shore'nuf was dying for those Oreos.
YAY ! ! I was down exactly 1.8 which totalled 10 in 4 weeks.
WHEW.
( Hey, them were the BEST DAMMMM OREOS I HAD EVER HAD last night. )
YEEEEEEEEEEE-HAW!
LMAO!! this post is hilarious! i looove it.
AND CONGRATS!!! you must feel soooo good about yourself. See how easy it is?! I'm down 8lbs in 9 weeks...you are lucky you are moving so fast. :)
Enjoy those oreos..you'll be eating them again in no time!!