C Doo Dah's Chitter Chat: Sex inna Middle of the Night <$BlogMetaDatCa$>

Monday, March 19, 2007

Sex inna Middle of the Night

I has one whopper of a sex story to tell ya. Git yerself all geared up and shit, Doo gonna sit a spell and tells ya a sex story.

Ok, we still livin out here in the sticks, and ya see all kinds of critters. Lots of deer live on our property cause, well, we aint the huntin types. We jus' loves lookin at them. If one is missing, we cry for days, then the bugger shows up. Peoples ask to hunt on our property all the time, and we always turn em down.

Our house, it smack on 20 acres, and there is a wooded area that runs the long length of it. Purty as all hell but I stills a city gal at heart and I keeps thinking about "Children of the Corn" or "Night of the Livin Dead" or something like that. Even Michael Jackoff's "Thriller" video gave me the willies. I dont like them dead people walkin.

So last night, I am 'woken up in the middle of the night by this rustlin in the leaves. Elmer sleeps thru all this noise and stuff. I jump outta bed because I swear that there be white eyed zombies walkin out my woods and shit. I was as wild eyed as I swored they would be.

Then starts the low growl.

Now, growin up in suburbia, there were lots of kitties that liked to have sex in our neighborhood, and they never done chose to doo it in their own yards and shit, as a little one I had a window well for the basement right under one of my bedroom windows, and them kitties shore liked their sex down innit. My Momma would always go out there with a bucket of water and thro on 'em, but they always come back to their favorite dooin it place. Skeered the shit out of me when I was little.

So, back to my tale.

The low growl.

This weren't no kitties havin sex.

When they started windin up real good, they sounded like fuggin mountin lions. I thought they'd a kill each other.

The walls in the house done vibrated.

Elmer slept on.

I figger it was dem raccoons I been a meanin ta kill off since they done ate my chickens. Nasty critters.

I put the ear plugs in.

I covered my head with my pillow.

I could still hear 'em goin atit. Skeerier than SHIT.

Dark circles and such under my eyes, Elmer says he didnt hear a thing last night.

So, thats how things are down at DooDah's place. Same ole same ole. I know'ed ya'll wanna hear a sex story, well, that about all ole Doo has in the way of wild screamin sex. LOL!

What been up with YOU? Talk at me now.



Blogger patti_cake said...

So was it raccoons.. or mountain lions or cats? I'm confused. I don't miss living in the country ONE BIT. We sold our 24 acres last fall and good riddance!
Girl you are too funny though and you sure make me smile this Monday morning!

7:32 AM CDT  
Blogger Al said...

Wild cat/coon/lion sex! What a way to start out the week.

9:29 AM CDT  
Blogger Doo Dah said...

Patti and Al,

Alls I can say is that they shore done liked it. Last time I howled and screamed like that whilst I was a havin sex I was a'grinnin for WEEKS.........

10:19 AM CDT  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

I am THE BIGGEST WUSS when it comes to weird sounds in the middle of the night....doesn't matter if it's sex or zombies. ;)

12:31 PM CDT  

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