Doo Dah's Chitter Chat

I is plum wore out

2008-10-22T11:00:00.003-05:00

I is so sorry peoples . . .

I is the biggest blog-slakker.

I is plum wore out.

I picked up a photo-hog job doing portraits for a local school extree-curricular activity group and been shooting ever day. And I gots 2 more schools askin to do theirs also.

Since I is a one-woman show, I gets to do all the photo-shootin proof-makin croppin zit-repairin touch-uppin portrait-finishin all by myselfs.

Mornin.
Noon.
Night.
Weekends.

but DUDE I can smells the MONEY and that make the Doo-chickie HAP-HAP-HAPPY!!!!!!!

immaturity

2008-10-08T06:45:00.002-05:00

HA!!!!!!!!!

Well, doo-follers, about early next week I should be back in full blogging mode again. I appreciate those who has passed thru and left their comments. I will be makin my rounds again too visitin ya'll soon. I am gonna hafta spend an entire day catchin up on all the posts I has missed on ya'lls blogs. I'd better get them readin spectacles all cleaned and ready....

See ya'll real soon!

76 Trombones . . .

2008-10-03T07:17:00.006-05:00

I just loves my girlie bein in Marching Band!

I gets all fired up when they start beatin on them drums. The sound makes me wanna be back in High School again!

*YAY*

Weekends are wearin us plumb out. Friday night football games, eatin out after, competitions out of town, practices after school.

But they the bestest kids in the whole school. Great peers, honor roll kids.

I is so proud my EllieMayMay :-)

PINK OCTOBER
BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH

PINK OCTOBER

2008-10-02T07:09:00.004-05:00

Just a wee ittle reminder to everbody that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Please do what you can to help this worthy cause. Donate, or make others aware. All month. Dont stop.

It might be yo momma, your sister, your beautimous daughter.

This killer of womens is specially close to the doo-chickie heart. I has had several non-cancerous-lumpers removed (THANK GOD NO CANCER), my SIL suffered for more than a year from breast cancer and is a survivor (YAY!!!!), but I has lost a dear friend and my bestest bud's momma. I have several pallies at church who have gone thru it or are going thru tests now.

It touches us all.

So, wear a pink ribbon. I bought us 4 metal pins, mine and EllieMayMay's is sparkly :-) but my men folk even wearin their plain ones on their shirts eversingleday.

This public announcement comes straight to ya from ole DooDah's heart. I is gonna put the pink ribbon on all posts all month long.

Only in Memfrika

2008-10-01T07:12:00.004-05:00

I lovingly stole this here pic from Boobs Injuries and Dr Pepper

Suffice to say, this is our world here in Hell, Tennessee.

Ok, so I have no words to go with this post.

Ya'll wanna see exactly what I am talkin about, go HERE.

OH MY GOOD GRAVY . . . Doo is speechless.

I has nuttin ta say :-(

2008-09-30T07:39:00.004-05:00

I feels empty headed. Havent felt like bloggin in forever (as ya'll can see by my lack of new posts). I log in, pull up "create new blog" and then shut-er down cause I has nothin to say. There nothin I CAN say.

Perhaps it is the crisis this country is in and the unbelievable inability of the elected asswipers to do anything that would be in our BENEFIT ... and I is dumbfounded.

Then they goes and blame each other.
*doo pulls out last strands of hair*

I think that if'n I say somethin, somebody will post a comment and tell me I am an idiot -- and trust me, that is entirely possible because Doo-chickie dont doo politics or economics. I is just an ordinary everday common folk who just acts a little uncommon and weird.

I have felt so un-everything lately. We are skeered. Our family truly believes that we are about to have another Depression. I dont there is a big'nuf pill of Zoloft or Prozak that we all can swaller to take care of what has happened to us. There aint no bandaid big enough to fix this ouch.

And then I see them all protestin on TV - the peoples that dont want congress to help the businesses in order to help all of us. And I think, yep, ya'll gonna be the first ta bitch when the inability to fix this here problem sets off a worser problem. Them Congress peoples that didnt pass the bill yesterday didnt do so because of their constituants (((WOW A FIRST))).

So, where does that now leave us today? In worse trouble then we was in in my humblest little ole Doo-pinion.

Them peoples that protestin about Govt helping big business with the bailout dont seem to realize that is who needs the help in order to help us ordinary little peoples. Without them businesses, we screwed. And the bailout even had provisions to keep from screwin us - like the Govt gets back extree what they eventually sells the companies for - and the fat-ass-cats that run them businesses do NOT get any bonuses or fringie benefits no more.

And I bet my bottom dollar they all drivin a Toyota home from the anti-bailout rally and not an American made car.

Okee dokee, I need to go make me a chocolate fattyassed snackie-poo. That'll help.

Thank yer lucky stars peoples

2008-09-25T08:34:00.004-05:00

Ok, I has a doo-pinion this morning.
Ya'll stand back cause I lettin'er fly.

Elmer and I was watching the news last night, and they had this here story on there that people in the Hurricane Ike devestated parts of Texas were fighting a huge population of jelly fish that were now in their swimming pools. The news reporter used these here words, and yes I quote because I was taping the show right before the news and caught this on tape, so I played it back cause I didnt believes my own ears.

"In past days, there has been an plethora of complaints and 911 calls to the city about snakes, turtles, fish and now jellyfish that had been swept into home-owner's backyard swimming pools by Hurricane Ike flood waters."

The news showed this here dude scoopin jellyfish after jellyfish out his swimming pool and puttin them in nice little buckets and kitchen tupperware bowls to take back out to the gulf shore.

*momentary silence as doo-chickie gathers up breath*

Now, I has heard of the many stupid 911 calls - some been passed around on the email giggles - like the one the dude called 911 when he didnt get the correct sandwich at a Wendy's drive-thru window. If ya'll aint heard that un, it is sure a whopper, um woops, no thats Burger King ...
*doo smiles at her feeble attempt at pun*

But my garsh good God almighteee!

If'n ya survived a hurricane with yer LIFE intact, yer house is a standin UNDAMAGED, and ya gots a fuggin swimmin pool in the backyard - and the onlys damage that ya sustained was some fuggin jelly fishies and turtles a-swimmin in yer pool... and ya gots money and time to spend savin these jelly-sons-a-bitchin fishes in tupperware bowls to take and fuggin dump back inta the Gulf of Mexico on yer days off suppose ta be spendin cleanin up a torn-up town ...

CHEESE-N-CRACKERS PEOPLES!
Pulls yer heads out yer asses.

Ya needs to be droppin to yer *ahem* alive and well knees and thankin our WONDERFUL and GRACIOUS LORD for all the things ya has.

*grumble*

Ok, I done.

Doo been upta her ears with work *huge smile* and I just won a huge job ... and since I freelance and work isnt a ever-day occurance and this a big chunka
ka-CHING coin in my pocket, I gotta thank MY lucky stars for being able to doo this new photohog-perfession of mine, and not havin to go back to a boring desk-accounting job. So, since ya knows that now, I may be a bit sporatic in postin but I always here and I always get yer comments :-)

Loves ya'll and has a great day, okee dokee?

the stove

2008-09-19T13:41:00.008-05:00

Since I posted 'bout cookin the sauce, I had several requests - so here it is:

It is a 5-Star, 6-burner, small gas oven, warmer drawer under that, large electric convection oven, reversable griddle/grill on the top, and it costed us a vacation.

Serious, a fuggin vacation.

But I LOVE LOVE LOVE it wif all my widdle heart.

I hadda thank Elmer extree for this un. *wink*

Happy FriDooDay LOL

2008-09-18T10:27:00.018-05:00

I so happy that it Friday! I need some days to sleep in *wink* because I just didnt get enough of them this here week.

I gots a gadfukillion things to accomplish so I has to keep this short and sweet. I promise that next week when I am fully back in the swing and this here house is back in order after the pigs let it get messy, I will chat some more with ya.

Here your Friday5 things about Doo:

(1)
I is a gourmet cook.

(2)
I has 36-inch inseam legs, yep they long'uns.

(3)
I am a artist-photographer, meaning I like doing abstract things and paintings of some of my photo images. I hope to be able to sell them some day.

(4)
I haint got no tatoos, and I doubt I ever will. eeee-yuk. I like my purty skin.

(5)
I am a Heinz57 person:
part Sweedish, part German, part French Indian.

My Steelers playin in the PA-braggin-rights game against them Philly Eagles. ewwww, big game, McNabb been playin good lately. Gadzuks, I hope we beat them!
GO STEELERS!!!

Ya'll have a wonderful weekend, be safe and take care.

I'm Back, Back in the DooDah Groove

2008-09-18T10:27:00.015-05:00

Man, doo I love the group Kiss ... and when they each stopped in mid-70s (SHUT UP I AM ONLY 28 I TELL YA *snort laffing* ) and each them made their own albums, I thought it would surely be the end of the world as I knew it. I thought they broke up fer good. *wink*

One song in particular from Ace Frehley, Back in the NY Groove, paints a picture of the doo-chickie this mornin. I was singin my fool head off all mornin, it shore a good thing ya'll cant HEAR me.

I swear to my Father in Heaven, this family of mine dont doo isht when I aint around. I spend a coupla days sleepin this cold off, and nothin gots done round here.

Check this out - towels was warshed, half assed folded and left on the fuggin couch:

They done good here, they got the jeans outta the hamper, just forgot to put 'em in the warsher machine:

and here is somebody's unmade bed:

But, I must admit, cleaning this morning aint what kept me from getting the blog up first thing
MISS IMPATIENT PQ
*giggle*...it were that I been a cookin since 630a whoopin up some more my awesomest spaghetti sauce. Elmer did get offa his arse and picked, peeled and pureed my 'maters in my garden for me while I was sickly, bless his little heart, and so I hadda cook em before they went bad.

Count yerselfs lucky, this here a rare glimpse of doo-chickie, I dont often show off fer ya :-) I donned my apron and fixed up a batch of it, and it is cookin down right now. This is a hugemongous pot that should yield me about 16 quarts.

Didja notice the massivly full garbage behind me in the bathroom? Damm, I just noticed that, looks like I gotta empty that too.

And Mr Sage, I hadda laugh the other day when you said there was always somethin to eat right outside my door. Good guess, I have a freezer right outside my back door on the porch while the garage/barn under construction. Howdja know? Were that you I sawed peekin in my wind'er the other day? *blush*

Ya'll have a great day while I clean the rest this damm house.

I ALIVE!!!

2008-09-17T10:08:00.004-05:00

by gosh by gum I is ALIVE

Just thought I'da let ya'll know, cause I aint gonna be visitin ya today, or bloggin much. I got loads of work to catch up, piles and piles on my desk here.

Just this line ta let ya'll know I am okee dokee. Danged ole cold did take me for a loop-da-loop and I slept most of Monday and Tuesday. I doo recommends Alka-Seltzer Plus Night-time for this bug, I tooked it day and night and slept and sweated it out.

Thanks to ya'll who sent the well wishes. *SMOOCHES*

So, see you back here Thursday with a new post.
:-) See ya!

ugh...goin back to bed

2008-09-15T06:30:00.004-05:00

somebody done gaved me her stoopid cold.

my ears a'poundin, my nose a'runnin, my throat hurts, it freezin in here.

I knewd I shouldnt not gone into her liar *wink* without chompin some extree vitamin C.

I musta looked like death cause Elmer offered to run the chilrens to school. Doo dont doo the bus thing here, if'n ya seed the drivers here and ya valued yer offspring, ya'd doo the same - I tole ya onest if'n I tole ya twiced, Memfrika a big skeery place and there alota diff'ernt freeky peoples here - they run the gammat from toofless drunkard to Momma's house (ala vicki lawrence) lookin broads - funny they women all particular 'bout their toes being painted all up and all no matter what they looks like. The bigger the broad, the wilder her toes be. Me, I stick au'natural because I got purty toenails. They look all french when they not even done that way. Clean white toenails, no yeller in them a'tall. :-)

(oh yea, I sick and still blabbering, need to go, gotta finish up doo.....)

Anyway, as I sayin, Elmer also musta felt a little more than generous, it n'aint never that he'd offered such a treat for me. I wonderin what he want now.

So, doo is off ta bed and pullin the covers up over my stuffied up head. I will talk acha all later. ahhhh...CHOOOOO!

It all about the Doo

2008-09-12T06:48:00.003-05:00

Hey ya'll :-)
I am thankin the Lawd it is finally Friday. This here been a long damm week, I tell ya.

Ike is gonna pour on us up'n here by Memfrika, so I will be stuck *yawn* inside all weekend. Hope ya'll my pallies down there in Texass are hunkered down and safe. I knowd Sage and Anais are there fer sure, dont 'member who else. Be safe dont be stoopid.

Since I been back, I been testin the waters of things to blog about. I tried Tell the Truth Tuesday, No Words Wednesdays and last Friday, I follered the Friday5 and answered 5 questions. I havent decided yet as to what to keep and what not. Perhaps I will just blog about me, I seem to get more traffic and comments when I keep it to me and my weird ramblin on. Ya'll seem to get tickled by what I write when it just looney me.

And I have learnt not to do politics, which I know diddly about. Well, we all has our opinions and I knowd now that you dont wanna hear my take on abortion anymore - hear it anyway - it just plain wrong to kill a life. The Lord puts a sparkly miracle in your body dont ya go and kills it. Done, I said my peace today.

So, I was gonna attempt another Friday5 just because it is answerin questions about doo, but they seemed too stupid for my likin today. I mean, who the flip cares what the cops in the donut shop said? I werent there. I dont know. You interested in Friday5, go to http://www.friday5.org. Trust me, werent worth it tho.

So, I am gonna do a Friday5 about me

5 FUN FACTS ABOUT DOO!

1
I have a purty little brown mole on my tookus.

2
We has alot of critters. 1 slut puppy, 3 kitties all outdoors (I cant stands cats in the house sittin on my countertops with their dirty little assholes BLECH), 3 rabbits, 5 baby rabbits, 1 birdie (they was up to 5 at one time, they been dyin off. Elmer loves his birds, I hates them. Ya know, they can live for MANY years??) Them are the domestic ones. And I miss the frickin rooster still. Hated him, miss him.

3
I make killer spaghetti sauce from tomatoes in my garden. We planted 60 plants this year, and the freezer is done filled up. I put meat in it, so I cant can it, I hafta freeze it. They will last until tomato time next year.

4
I love mint Chapstick. The green one, you cant find it many places.

5
I is smarter than ya'll think. I had a 4.0 GPA in college. All 3 times I went. Here and ya'll thought I was just a dumb redneck who caint spell worth a lick. I loves to learn. I is a sponge. I believe that you never stop learning.

Well peoples, you know 5 new things about the ole Doo. Ya'll have a good weekend. I loves ya, and hopes the peace of the Lord be with each and ever one ya.

Oh, and GO STEELERS - they playing them dirty Browns Sunday.
YEEHAW!

grumble I AM NOT OLD i tell ya

2008-09-11T09:36:00.009-05:00

The Doo chickie is hating middle age. I aint handlin it well.

This year alone, I have had some miserable things happen to my body.

-I was lookin in the mirror at the back of my hair, and found back fat puddled around my bra. BACK FAT I TELL YA. *hrmmph grumble grumble*

-I weigh the same, it just is shiftin to weird places on my body and my clothes just dont fit the same (ok, I realize that is cause for shopping :-), so I can handle that somewhat, it just the size increase for no apparent reason that buggers me).

-I have found myself shifting from my basic black and brown attire to brighter colors. I think I may have a weird desire to play shuffleboard when I wear my turquoise capri pants and my little silver glittery Gianni Bini cinderella ballet flats.

-I seem to move like a slug lately. And I want to sleep more. Like naps. Naps are unheard of in my vocabulary.

-I want a slut red car. Never mind that it needs to be a Chevy HHR Panel. Elmer says it looks like a hearse. Perhaps that is why I need one so derned bad, I feel like I need to plan my funeral. Still, it is sex-ay as hell, and it aint my usual big dawg black SUV or pick-em-up that I used to choose, and it aint a Soccer Momma van. I see all them middle age dudes, gray and half bald, in the convertables thinkin they all that, and I personally think how effin stupid they look, but I yearn for a mid-life crisis slut-red vehicle in the WORST way.
see? aint it PURTY!!!-->

-Rock and Roll isnt doing it for me anymore. I cant get the Led out like I used to. I find that I listen to NPR more often. And Classical. Well, EllieMayMay is a band geek, and I love love love the music...

-I find myself checkin out some those sexy young things in their 20s. Dammm, I graduated High School in 1982, like what is that, more than 25 years ago? Some my friends have kids that old.

-Dont get me started on checkin out and advisin EllieMayMay on some them HAWT YOUNG HIGH SCHOOL BOYS. HOT DAMMM, THIS COULD BE MY JAM. (an Ellie beeboppin song).

-Speakin of, my love life sucks. I find myself crying over little romantic gestures that I see in the Viagra commercials. Elmer dont doo that isht. He dont have a fuggin romantic bone in his body.

-my gray hairs have increased considerably...including the one I found this morning in my pubes.

-Did you catch that...I found a fucking gray hair in my crotchity area. My perfect little poo-nannie has a frickin oddness to it now.

What ever is a Doo to dooooo?

No Words Wednesday

2008-09-10T05:56:00.002-05:00

(i had to remove this because it violated photobucket's sensitive morals)

Tell the Truth Tuesday #2

2008-09-09T14:31:00.004-05:00

A couple of months ago

...I kissed a girl, and I liked it

I had to go and add the 2nd TtTT because I knowd ya'll didnt like the anti-baby-killin rant on Joe Biden...

Tell the Truth Tuesday

2008-09-09T09:38:00.003-05:00

I caught a flippin fishie on the internet news today.

Senator Joseph R. Biden Jr., the Democratic nominee for vice president, declares that as a Catholic, he believes life begins at conception.

He says that he would not "impose" his personal views on others.

Aint that what he in Washington for? To stand up for all of them Catholics who put him there? Because, in all his campaigning all these years, he goes after the Catholic vote. Declaring right there that he is a Catholic.

Didnt he just stand in Wisconsin 2 days ago and blabber on about his middle-class Catholic upbringing - to raving cheers from the mostly Catholic crowd - and his ties to the Roman Catholic Church

And then on TV, he professes that "he did not often talk about his faith,(HUH?!? BALONIE, what did he mean here, not every sentence but EVERY OTHER??) and I again quote "I’m prepared as a matter of faith to accept that life begins at the moment of conception.”

Then how, with a clear conscience, representing those who believe the same, can he vote Pro-Choice every time ... simply because it is the Democratic Party's stance on abortion.

Can you not stand as a man, a Catholic man with stated beliefs, as part of the Democratic party, and make a change that is morally correct? His morals?

He was elected as a Catholic. With Catholic vote. He represents a very Catholic region.

In my mind, he is NOT a Catholic. He is a LIAR.

I think Mr. Obama-lama-ding-dong chose the wrong running mate.

lost marbles

2008-09-08T11:21:00.006-05:00

has anybody seen my marbles, i done lost them.

photo borrowed from militantplatypus.com, cause doo give credit where credit due, i knows i hates it when somebody borrows my photos i done tooken without creditin me

i went to a meeting this mornin that is being held tomorrow.

is everbody having a mumbly monday also? hope ya'll havein better one than me.

yee-haw ... *crickets chirpin*

Friday5 ORANGE

2008-09-05T15:49:00.003-05:00

If ya wants to participate, go to: http://friday5.org/

1. What’s your favorite orange-colored food?
MANGOS

2. What’s the best way to drink orange juice?
WITH VODKA ON A BEACH IN FLORIDA

3. Which candy’s orange-colored pieces taste best?
M&Ms - and NO THEY DONT ALL TASTE ALIKE *wink*

4. What are your feelings about orange soda?
ORANGE CRUSH WAS MY FAV-O-RITE WHEN I WAS GROWIN UP. I USED TO ALWAYS HAVE THOSE ORANGE MUSTACHES. NOW I GETS CRAVINGS AND OCCASIONALLY I PICKS ME UP A 2-LITER OF DIET ORANGE SODA AT THE STORE. YUM! IT LASTS ABOUT 2 HRS.

5. When did you last wear an orange item of clothing?
I AM WEARING ORANGE THONGS WITH YELLER POKA-DOTS RIGHT NOW. *wink*

Don't go an' cheat on us southern womens

2008-09-05T09:54:00.004-05:00

NEVER CHEAT ON NO SOUTHERN WOMAN

A Southern wife came home just in time to find her man under covers with another woman.

With super-human strength, borned of fury and cuttin firewood power, she done dragged his ass down the stair, out the back door, and into the shed out back of the barn.

She put his tally-whacker in a vice and secured it tight and removed the vice's handle.

Next she picked up an old rusted out rickety carpenter's saw. The banged up cheater was skeered outta his wits, and holler'd, "Stop! Stop! You're aint a'gonna cut it off with that rusty damn saw, are ya?"

The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, put the saw in her man's hand and said......

"Nope. I'm gonna set this ole shed on fire, and go inta town for a cold beer. Ya'll can do whatever ya want."

I got my jersey on already

2008-09-05T07:01:00.011-05:00

The Doo chickie is an avid NFL fan, and if'n ya knows me well 'nuf, you know who I will be rootin fer on Sunday.

Oh yea, I bleed black and gold. Always have, always will.

...this dude one HOT fukker, just need ta stay off'a his bike, we seed him at a bowling alley with Bettis in Pittsburgh one time, was such a nice young man that when I tooked his pic and thanked him, I gaved his cheekie a squeeze, and gallies believe you me, there weren't no squeeze in that tight arse of his:

...then there is my tazmanian debil boi, he the reason the jersey I wear in bed is #43:

...and this dude, no words can describe him. What a happy fukker. If ya watches NFL and has the pleasure to see him make one of his wild acrobatic catches, you knows that he does ever one with the hugest smile on his face. Even when ya sees him get smacked so hard you go "EW OW" and cover yer eyes and peek to see if he ok, he jumps right back up smilin ear ta ear:

...ok, so we tough, our new coach has his freshman year behind him and has the curve the nerves down and he gonna doo like Roethlisburger did his sophomore yr and get ring #6 for the other hand:

Ya'll probably think I watch football fer the hawt lookin dudes now. Well, kinda sorta. Yee effin HAW it shore nice to see men in tight britches. There aint no mystery about what they packin, if'n ya knows what I mean.

Ya'll have a great weekend, see ya on Monday, and...
GO STEELERS!

DOOPINION: sexist pig media HRRMPH

2008-09-04T09:32:00.004-05:00

I hates politics. I neither a donkey-ass nor an elephant. I concerns myself with one issue politically. Abortion.

The Doo gal is 110% Pro-LIFE. (please please please do not send me comments and isht to try to sway me, I jus' dont wanna hears it, my mind done been made up).

The Obama-Biden ticket is one that I would vote fer cause I just dont like where the Republicans has taken this here country and I dont believe we should be in that derned war, we need to be here protecting us. John McCain is evil W's twin in my mind.

But I cannot doo the Obama-Biden thang because both of them is pro-choice. Therefore, they do not get my vote either.

More-so because Biden is a LIAR because he says he is pro-choice and he is Catholic. There aint no such thing, Doo a Catholic and Doo knows this...if ya believes in the Catholic Doctrine, then ya believes in LIFE. Period, no ifs ands buts about it. But this Doopinion not 'bout Biden or anti-abortion, so I must regress.

(gits to the point now Doo...)

Why on God's great green earth is the media continuing to question Sarah Palin's ability to handle a job and 5 children?

Women do it all the time in the United States.

Single women have jobs and babies and asswipe maniac ex-husbands to deal with (well, I knowed I did).

Good Lawd, dont they knowed it is 2008? That kinda thinkin makes me wonder if'n they aint stuck back in the Little House on the Prairie days and them women folk of theirs aint just barefoot and preggers.

OH LAWD - this picture skeers the isht outta me. She looks like a 2008 gal with her fancy schmancy vaccuum and all, but look at the rest her house! It skreems Leave It To Beaver...where the fukkk is her apron?

Do they not see that there are successful women who balance everything quite nicely? There are women CEOs, women Corporate Presidents, women business owners. They all aint all lezzies - most them has a family and chilrens at home. DUH FUKKIN DUH.

These Archie Bunker-ites need to be strung up and hanged by their teeney weenies.

HRRMPH.

No Words Wednesday

2008-09-03T11:33:00.005-05:00

awww, fug.

2008-09-02T07:09:00.003-05:00

now i is back, i finds that i aint got much ta say this morning.

somebody pass me the coffee....

hope all ya'lls down south me done got thru gustov okee dokee. we got lots ya'll up'n here Memfrika area stayin over. ya'll let me know how'd ya fare.

you done sexxxed me up & I's addicted.

2008-08-29T13:05:00.005-05:00

Ok folk, I jus' a'heared this un.

David Duchovny has a sex addiction.

First off, WHAT in the HELLLLL he doin ta this ole teacup?

Danged if his gramma gonna be ticked as a rattler inna porcupine nest when she learnt what he done done ta her good china tea cup!

Secondly, lemme say that I'da be much obliged if'n he'da tole me first so's that I coulda hepped him out sum.

I'da not kicked that'un out fer eatin cracker inna my bed, fer sure.

Thirds, WHAT DA FUK is a SEX ADDICTION anyway and where'd ya git inna a rehab center fer it? Oh my good LAWD almighty, is THAT what my problem been all dis time!?!?!?!

Peoples, this is a classic 'sample of Hollyweird and their poor fukkin lame arse excuses fer doin shit they aint'a spose'ta.

Why caint they jus' pull their head out their arses and tells tha truth. he done fucked around on his purty wife. Done got caught.

like a bad habit

2008-08-29T11:05:00.001-05:00

I is back

Death in the Family

2007-05-07T11:36:00.000-05:00

I have had a death in the family, be back as soon as I can.
Blogger love ~ Doo Dah

My Rednekker Sistas

2007-05-02T12:05:00.000-05:00

All that I can say 'bout this is that ya HAFTA keep it on to the last second, I skreemed it were so fuggin funny.

Sexin Up Wabbits Email

2007-05-01T15:01:00.000-05:00

NotASoccerMom:
I'm trying to get these damn rabbits knocked up! Shit!

DooDah:
It is fun to have the babies, but remember:
(1) you will loose 1/3 of them in the first couple of weeks - kids will be heartbroken the first couple of times it happens.
(2) they are harder than shit on a stick to get rid of/sell.
:-) All I can tell you is it takes 28 days, and they remain fertile from day they doo it, so separate them once you know the deed has been done.
Any idea how old they are?

NotASoccerMom:
I don't think we're even going to tell them until after they come ( if they come)
I'll probably be the one who cries..I'm a sucker like that.
I still can't frickin tell...They all have little thingys poppin out...
I think I'm a " Special needs case"
One of them just keeps humping everything, but the other two could give a shit less.
Will a female hump things?
I'm so lost...

DooDah:
Yes, they all have thingies poppin out, LOL need to look closely at the center of the thingie.
Once you pop the little thinger out, like I told you on the blog, a girl will have a slit like this l (like a human) and a boy will have a round hole like this O and wont really have a yanker come out until he is sexin something else (like a dog yanker). . .and YES they all like humping. We had 2 boys together until they mated with a female, and then had to separate them because one done found his "dominance" and decided he was king-isht of the hutch and 'bout killed the other one fuggin him. I found it utterly disgusting that one boy would take it up the youknowwhat and just sit there. Poor little bottom hadda hurt.

NotASoccerMom:
I'm soooooo special...
I'll email you in an hour.
I'm taking these little fuckers to the pet store since I'm retarded

DooDah:
I am snorting laffing at youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. . . time for a drink LOLOL stop at the likker, um, LIQUOR store on yer way back and fetch us something good to shoot.

( time goes by . . . tick tick tick tick )

NotASoccerMom:
DAmn it all to hell....3 penises

DooDah:
Some women would love to have 3 penises available............Can I borrow one?

7 Step Program Needed

2007-05-01T07:01:00.000-05:00

Ok, now dont ya'll laugh at me, cause it took alot for me to stand here in front of ya and admit my faults (cause I knowed ya'll thought I was perfect) . . . .

I am completely and utterly computer IGNERNT.

Oh, I can get around. It just that I cannot figger this HTML isht out fer nuttin.

So, I wanna fix this fugly ole blog up, cause, ya know, it IS rather boring in the looks department. Being an artist, one would thunk that I could do a graphic. I WANT to be able to take some of my art and photography and do just that. I have loads of pictures that I have played with in Photoshop. I have grand ideas.

It is my age. Yep, I am positive.

My son just had his High School orientation and will be goin off to the BIG school this fall. In reading the curriculum, they dont have "Typing 101" like we did in High School. They have "Keyboarding Class".

And in talking with fellow Bloggers yesterday looking for somebody to help me, seems if you are only 5 years younger than me, ya'll understand this wicked machine and can doo all sorts of cool stuff.

For a price.

So, I am depressed. I feel so completely stoopid.

Not that I cant afford it or dont want to spend it, dont get me wrong if you are the really nice blogger who spent a better part of yesterday emailing back and forth with me about it. Or my pal J from a while ago who seems to have given up on me, we were about to fix up Rooster Noodle Soup back then, and then I dropped out of the Blogdom for my recoup.

Its just that I wish I could doo that stuff myself, 'specially since I am such a creative person artsy-wise.

So, if you see my blog makin some changes soon, just know that some really brilliant computer doode is dooin it and not me. Just remember, Doo is mighty smart and worldly in alot of things, but this computer junk effs up my brain sometin fierce and makes me all dizzy and isht.

cHiLdhOoD mEmoRieS

2007-04-30T12:43:00.000-05:00

( BTW, WTF is everbody today, aint NOBODY talkin back at me today )

Everbody has their "feel like a kid again" moment. I was thinkin 'bout this when Molly posted her blog last week about rollin down a hill (which I have done and at -ahem- 40noneofyerbiznessomething, it dont feel that good the next day).

At lunch today, I had a feeling I was 8 years old again.

Now, I have made my chilrens PB&J sammiches now and again. They is in their teens now, so I dont get to make em for em anymore, they makes their own.

So back to it. I was hungered today around noon, so I looks in the pantry to see what we have. I see'd that I done bought a brand new jar of JIF CREAMY fer the chilrens.

Oh. My. GAWD.

And the only thing you can put with a fresh creamy PB sammich is grape jelly.

I wet my panties it were THAT GOOD.

And as I sat there and savored ever last bite, I thought of the things I liked whilst I was growin up back home.

Bomb Pops.
Pepsi Slushes at the Kwik Shop.
Laffy Taffy.
Pizza Rolls with chocolate milk.
Bubs Daddy.
Campbell's ABC Soup.
Happy Joes Taco Pizza.
Lipton's Chicken Noodle Os after swimming lessons.
Hiland Potato Chip and AE Dip.
((oops hee hee now ya'll can figger where I am originally from winkwink))
Ok. I will say it aout loud:
. . . FUNNEL CAKES and FRESH SQUEEZED LEMONADE FROM THE IOWA STATE FAIR.

What do ya'll crave when you (a) think of childhood (b) think of home . . ?

Musical Monday: My Cake Is Meltingggggg

2007-04-30T06:58:00.000-05:00

(( I want some of what this

dude was smokin back then . . . . ))

Spring was never waiting . . . for us, then

It ran one . . . step ahead

As we followed . . . in the dance

Between the parted pages . . . and were pressed,

In love's hot, fevered iron,

Like a striped pair of pants.

MacArthur's Park . . . is melting . . . in the dark

All the sweet, green icing . . . flowing down...

Someone left my cake out . . . in the rain

I don't . . . think that I can take it

cause it took so long to bake it

And I'll never have that recipe again ! ! !

Oh, no!

Rock Magnet

2007-04-27T08:24:00.000-05:00

I swear to Holy Christ that my SUV is a rock magnet.

I just got beaned for the THIRD time THIS YEAR on this stupid little Northern Loop that goes from PoDunkLINGTON to YuppityLINGTON.

Worst thing is, it was a TDOT truck carrying golf ball size gravel.

When that bugger hit, I swore to my God that I had been shot, it hit that danged hard. I 'bought bit the dust runnin off the road, it skeered me so derned much.

My insurance dude thinks I am crazed. He said, "DooDah dear, are you following them TOO CLOSE??"

I about hit the ceiling. Time to change insurance dudes to somebody who dont be askin me stoopid ignernt questions when I am highly agitated. He lucky he was on the phone, I'da ripped his left fuzznutt off and fed it to my guest coon up in my attic.

Thing is, this is the second time that I was in the passing lane passing a truck going too derned slow and the fuggin rock bounced SIDEWAYS.

And now Elmer is mad. I am like CRIPES A FRIDAY DUDE, like I AINT ASKING TO GET CLOBBERED BY ROCKS FALLIN FROM TRUCK WHO CAINT TAKE A MINUTE TO CHAIN THE GATE SHUT (yes peoples, the rear gate that was suppose ta be holdin these boulders in was a flappin up and down like Rosie O'Donnell's fat jaw).

Jaypers, Fridays are suppose to be all cool and shiot. HRMPH.

Critter in the Attic

2007-04-26T10:38:00.000-05:00

We have a critter in the attic.

Dont know how it got there, danged if we can find an opening tore open anywhere.

Dont know how we gonna get it out.

Dont want to get bit by something rabid. Ya shouldda seen Elmer and I peering around a corner lookin innit, and he jumped and I pee'd my panties.

Dont want to go to bed one more night hearin that scritchyscratchin and chatterin it is dooin.

DOOPINIONS

2007-04-25T13:44:00.000-05:00

I is gonna ease on back inta bloggin' by axspressing some my 'pinions of events whilst I was gone dooin taxes and ish. Elmer says I blurt out my 'pinions far too much, well, I jus think ya'll need to be informed on what makes ole Doo's world go 'round, an since I haint had a platform ta let my steam out, stand on back cause here she blows:

DOOPINION ON VIRGINA TECH MASSACRE
One the biggest shitvents that happened whilst I was gone. Since happenin, all I has heard and read is that peoples thought Cho was skeery and nutsO. His friends, family, classmates, professors and in general, all that ever met the f#cker. SO, Doo wonders WHY THE FLUCK he wasnt dealt with before he done did what he done did DUH FUCKIN DUH. Oh yea, people said he had rights, yea yea, he turned down psychiatric help, yea yup, nobody couldnt lock the f#cker up? He couldnt be "committed" to a facility? . . . . and look what happened.

DOOPINION ON SANJAYA MALAKAR
Have ya'll seen interviews since he got the boot? "I am not just a singer, I am an entertainer". One thing this young idiot needs to figger out: he was a JOKE. He is NOT even of the caliper of Chicken Little, altho as big of a giggle. He will not even reach the status of the "She Bops" dude, who remains to this day- a JOKE. SanJAYJAY needs to go back to High School (yep, he dropped out a couple of years ago, WOW what a role model for our children).

DOOPINION ON AMERICAN IDOL GIVES BACK
Now, ya'll who know me knows I aint heartless, but DANG, why is AMERICAN Idol giving boatloads of money to impoverished African kids? Can't AMERICAN Idol fix AMERICAN kids who are starving and homeless FIRST? Yea I KNOW - I sawed the blip "oh yea we are gonna help needy kids right here at home also . . . . " and I KNOW it is terrible conditions over there. My point is AMERICAN Idol is AMERICAN PEOPLE VOTING ON THESE CONTESTANTS EVERY WEEK WITH THEIR POCKETS . . . Texting and calling in to vote costs US money. Oh yea, and AMERICAN Idol isnt telecast over in Britian and Africa, well at least they cannot vote, or shall I say spend their money to vote. GAWD I feel for them kids with flies in their eyes and ish, but we got our own problems here we needs to deal with before we fix everbody's else's problems.

DOOPINION ON FIXIN THE REST OF THE WORLD BEFORE FIXIN OURSELVES
hrmph, see above only change to War in Iraq. Love my troops, support my troops, get my troops outta there, aint our problem and alls we dooin is pissin up a rope and pissin off terrorists who need just one more reason to hate us whether we dooin good over there helpin them or not.

DOOPINION ON MARY WINKLER (PREACHER KILLER)
There have been many women in her situation, no money no job 2 or 3 babies/kids nowhere to go to get out of the situation. I personally have had many things happen to me by my ex-hole, and I haint goin there, but I didnt blow his fluckin guts and brains all over the wall. I think she could have come up with a SLIGHTLY better solution to her problem.

DOOPINION ON ROSIE LEAVING THE VIEW
I like fat people, I like gay people, I like opinionated people, I USED to like The View. Rosie ruined the view. Now, dont tell me BabbaWawwa liked the spike in ratings, BULL-ISHT. She looked like she has wanted to pee-uke on screen since the first day when RoeDoe took over the whole show. She was placed in the moderator seat, not the take over the whole show seat. A nice banter of views back and forth was always enjoyable, but when fat mouth took over, her opinion was the only one the hog allowed. The spike in ratings was an embarrassment to a classy lady like BabbaWawwa, and as far as I am concerned, let the door hit the pig in the ass on her way out. I am positive tho, that she will be "blathering" and hoggin up her last 2 seconds of fame. Donald Trump was correct, she is a BIG MOUTH and needs to stfu - permanantly.

NOW, IF THERE IS ANYTHING THAT YA'LL WOULD LIKE ME TO EXPRESS MY DOOPINION ON, LET ME KNOW, I ALWAYS HAS AN "INTERESTING" TAKE ON STUFF. YA'LL HAVE A GOOD DAY, AND SEE YOU BRIGHT AND EARLY IN THE MORNING yeeeeeeeeeeeeHAW!

~~be right back~~

2007-04-03T07:31:00.000-05:00

Last 10 days of tax hell then I is DONE.

Stick around, I shall return (fair warning).

YA'LL BEHAVE WHILST I IS GONE,

YA HEAR ? ? ? ?

Friday Feast # 137

2007-03-30T07:21:00.000-05:00

Appetizer
What are you proud of?
I is real proud of myself when I can be madder than hornets at Elmer and I dont take his nadders off with a rusty hacksaw. And he done deserved it many a time.

Soup
What is the best thing you’ve ever won as a prize?
I haint never won nuttin, so to speak, so I hafta say Elmer. I wore him down like a dog till he done begged me ta marry his sorry ass.

Salad
Name something you do that is a waste of time.
Cleaning the house, cause everbody else comes straight in and messes it up. 'Splain to me again why I done married Elmer.................

Main Course
In what year of your life did you change the most?
The year I moved to Ifukkinhateithere, TN.

Dessert
Where is a place you consider to be very tranquil?
I has me a spot in the woods I has cleared and I has me a chair and little table, it overlooks the creek and I hear the water runnin thru it and it calms my nerves. I takes me my wine and a book and sits there until I caint see them words no more, then I stumble back to the house.

I derned glad I is a woman

2007-03-29T10:45:00.000-05:00

Men love us when we is drunk

1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3. Taxis stop for us.
4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.
6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
13. We will never regret piercing our ears.
14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.

Critter Wisdom

2007-03-28T07:12:00.000-05:00

((DooDah is working terribly hard this last couple weeks of tax season, so I decided I had better write this fer her today so's ya'll gets somethin ta read.......since I am so loyal and obedient))

Life is simple. It is you humans that make it hard.
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
Take naps.
Many naps.
Stretch before rising.
Lay on your back and let your belly get rubbed.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
Sniff a few butts.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout..! run right back and make friends.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm - stop when you have had enough.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

~ Love, Ruby the Slut Puppy

Ok, like the dog thinks she is so smart . . . . . here is my rabbit philosophy:

Eat.

Hop hop poo.

Hop hop poo hop hop hop poo.

Fuck.

Hop hop poo.

Fuck again.

Eat.

Hop poo hop hop.

Partner not around, wiggle nose smelling for it.

Find scent.

Fuck some more.

Hop hop poo.

See? Better than the dog life.

~ Popcorn the rabbit

Musical Monday: Farmer Hoggatt

2007-03-26T08:17:00.000-05:00

If I had words to make a day for you,

I'd sing you a morning, golden and new.

I would make this day last for all time,

Give you a night deep with moonshine.

~~~

((ya'll have a wonderful Monday, ya'hear?))

Friday Feast # 136

2007-03-23T09:38:00.000-05:00

Appetizer
Who is your favorite news anchor/reporter? Why?
I dont much watch the television news. Too much depressin shiit in the world. I always end up cryin. Then the weather, this bugs Elmer to no end cause he gots to see the weather reportin on TV.....ya caint trust the weatherperson because they always F it up, so I steps outside and if it cold, I wear a sweater, if it warm, I wear summer clothes. That purty simple, who needs a weather forecast?

Soup
Name 3 foods that are currently in your freezer.
There is a baby bunny that passed away when it was about 2 weeks old in a baggie. I know, that is sickening.........ya see, when it passed it was too cold and rainy to go and bury it, and EllieMayMay insists on funerals for ever damn critter that croaks. And YES, it has become nice again outside, and EllieMayMay and Elmer keeps fergettin, until I scream when I puts my hand inside the freezer and come out with the bunny popsickle.

Other than that, I cannot live without my Weight Watcher Fudgecicles....gotta have that daily dose of chocolate. Oh yea, and a TON of spaghetti sauce from last years bumper crop of 'maters.

YUM I makes GOOOOOOOOD sauce :-)

Salad
If you were to have the opportunity to name a new town or city, what would you call it?
Well, I has already re-named Memphis but King Willie or the rulin gansta Ford family here haint passed it into reality.

Oh, my new names? Memfrika, TN and Hell, TN. Oh yea, there is also Ifukkinhateithere,TN.

Main Course
What will most likely be the next book you read?
I has a instruction manual for the new vehicle we bought Wednesday, and I caint fer the life of Pete find the derned window washin squirtin button, and this green pollen dust is all overt everthing. So I assume that I will be readin up on how to operate this beast machine we just bought (btw: it is a 2007 Tahoe)

Dessert
What's the first thing you notice about the opposite gender?
Are ya fuggin kiddin me? I notice he is male. Da DOO is always leerin at men.

And as soon as I figger it out that he a man, I check out the junk to see if it visible thru the pants. One dude last week I saw'd at Starbucks made me choke on my drink when he passed by. It were a biggun for sure, unless he had a sock or an extree leg down thar.

Ya'll has yerselves a great weekend now, ya hear???
:-)

I have no words

2007-03-21T07:24:00.000-05:00

Ok, I lied, Doo never stands silent....

(1)

This child is probably 8-ish.

(2)

This child and many like her are the

reason Sanjayjay is still there.

(3)

Sanjayjay slaughtered an awesome song last night.

(4)

Yet, all the internet buzz is that he kicked ass.

Weret they watchin the same American Idol?

(5)

But from the moment the first note came out his mouth, and they popped that child up on the screen, I laughed so fuggin hard I cried. It was THAT BAD.

(6)

The producers and et all (as I like to say TIIC: the idiots in charge) need to wisen up and remove him (cheatingly) from the show, because all of the 8 year old kids who do not recognize raw talent as us adults do are texting and calling and voting for this

dumbshit jayjay head.

(7)

WTF is up with them eyebrows????????????

---oOo---

'Nuff said, Doo is rankled today.

Not even worthy of a yee-haw.

Maybe I will feel more like throwin somethin good up here later. until then, I had a nightmarish dream about a Michael Jackoff impersonator with a bad perm that made him look like a gigantic bush that needs shaved.

Sombody come clean my house

2007-03-20T08:19:00.000-05:00

Dang, my fam-damly cant do shit.

Ya'll know I do accounting work (until next month YAY)

So January thru April 15, my household

is run by the 3 little pigs.

I am pleased to intra-duce the rest

of my fam-damly to ya:

Elmer, Ellie MayMay and JohnBoy

I aint askin fer much. Maybe put a dish or two in the dishwasher, or wipe the jelly offa the counter when ya'll makes ya a peanut butter -n- jelly sammich.

And they wonders why I is a basket case come April 15.

-----oOo-----

Now on to bigger and better things . . . . . .

SPRING HAS DONE ARRIVED AT THE FARM!

Sex inna Middle of the Night

2007-03-19T07:02:00.000-05:00

I has one whopper of a sex story to tell ya. Git yerself all geared up and shit, Doo gonna sit a spell and tells ya a sex story.

Ok, we still livin out here in the sticks, and ya see all kinds of critters. Lots of deer live on our property cause, well, we aint the huntin types. We jus' loves lookin at them. If one is missing, we cry for days, then the bugger shows up. Peoples ask to hunt on our property all the time, and we always turn em down.

Our house, it smack on 20 acres, and there is a wooded area that runs the long length of it. Purty as all hell but I stills a city gal at heart and I keeps thinking about "Children of the Corn" or "Night of the Livin Dead" or something like that. Even Michael Jackoff's "Thriller" video gave me the willies. I dont like them dead people walkin.

So last night, I am 'woken up in the middle of the night by this rustlin in the leaves. Elmer sleeps thru all this noise and stuff. I jump outta bed because I swear that there be white eyed zombies walkin out my woods and shit. I was as wild eyed as I swored they would be.

Then starts the low growl.

Now, growin up in suburbia, there were lots of kitties that liked to have sex in our neighborhood, and they never done chose to doo it in their own yards and shit, as a little one I had a window well for the basement right under one of my bedroom windows, and them kitties shore liked their sex down innit. My Momma would always go out there with a bucket of water and thro on 'em, but they always come back to their favorite dooin it place. Skeered the shit out of me when I was little.

So, back to my tale.

The low growl.

This weren't no kitties havin sex.

When they started windin up real good, they sounded like fuggin mountin lions. I thought they'd a kill each other.

The walls in the house done vibrated.

Elmer slept on.

I figger it was dem raccoons I been a meanin ta kill off since they done ate my chickens. Nasty critters.

I put the ear plugs in.

I covered my head with my pillow.

I could still hear 'em goin atit. Skeerier than SHIT.

Dark circles and such under my eyes, Elmer says he didnt hear a thing last night.

So, thats how things are down at DooDah's place. Same ole same ole. I know'ed ya'll wanna hear a sex story, well, that about all ole Doo has in the way of wild screamin sex. LOL!

What been up with YOU? Talk at me now.

Yawn.....YEEEEEEEE-HAW!

I forgot my Friday Feast........135

2007-03-16T07:56:00.000-05:00

Dang, I was away for WAY too long, huh? Here goes...........

Appetizer
Name two things that made you smile this week.
Well, I shore am smilin this mornin being back in blogville, tho I is sad ta see so many are MIA.

Soup
Fill in the blank:
Don't you hate it when ____________?
when I step in the cow dookie in the fields.

Salad
When you can't go to sleep, what is your personal remedy to help yourself drift into Lullabyland?
Think of all the times I wisht I could lay down and sleep during the day......

Main Course
What is something about which you've always wondered but have not yet found a good answer?
Why the *F* am I still livin in HELLville, Tennessee?

Dessert
What is your favorite pasta dish?
BOWTIE PASTA w/ SPINACH and BACON

3-6oz BACON
10oz PASTA
3 tablespoons OLIVE OIL
1 med ONION, chopped
1 RED or GREEN PEPPER, chopped
1 clove GARLIC, crushed – we add more
1sm RED CHILI (if not available, we use ½ to 1 tbl Red Pepper Flakes like in pizza shops)
8oz SPINACH
SALT and PEPPER

Fry the BACON, remove and save the grease in the pan. Cut the bacon into bite size pieces.

Boil the PASTA and set aside.

To the grease, add the OLIVE OIL, ONION, PEPPER, GARLIC AND CHILIS. Cook on med until the peppers and onions are tender.

Add the BACON BACK IN, SPINACH, SALT AND PEPPER and cook the spinach down.

Toss the PASTA in and serve immediately.

howDEE!!!!!!!!

2007-03-16T07:10:00.000-05:00

I wanna see hows many of ya still livin here in blogville, so todays I'mma gonna keep 'er short and jus' tells ya a funny ha ha.........then go check out my list of haunts. I'll be gettin ta what I been dooin' next week, little at time. But DANG it shore is good ta be back!

~ ~ ~

Recently, ole Billy Joe down da streets hadda go ta the hospital to has his weddin ring cut offa his pecker after ole Billy Joe's gal pal done found his weddin ring in the pocket of his britches. She done got so derned mad at him that she went an stuck it on his pecker whilst he was a sleepin.

Whats worse ta ya?

Havin yer gal pal finds out yer hitched up

Es'plainin ta yer wife how yer weddin ring got stuck on yer wanker

Findin out yer pecker done fit thru yer weddin ring

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAW! ((po' ole dude))

the return of DOO ~ Friday March 16

2007-03-15T15:37:00.001-05:00

See ya'll then !!!!!

I'mma looking forward to

blabbin with all my

ole pals again.

blog leave of absence

2006-08-01T13:04:00.000-05:00

Hi everybody

I am back from Destin and we had a wonderful time. Got a bit of heat stroke and a tad burnt (unusual for me because I am French/Cherokee Indian and Dark German and usually do not burn at all).

I am writing to tell you all that I am going to take a blog leave of absence. This is a very difficult decision for me. There are several reasons behind this decision:

1- blogging ...my blog and keeping up with all of your antics on your blogs takes a tremendous amount of time. At this time in my professional and personal life, I really need to cut back.

2- the old biz ...I am selling my Accounting business to a gal who works for me now. She cannot afford it all, so we have worked out an "over time" buyout. She is going to take over management gradually and work it for me for a year or two until she is ready. I have alot to do to prepare for this and to slide it over to her.

3- the new biz ...I am opening a new photography business. While in Destin, I met up with some people who have Gallerias, quazi-Antique and Boutiques. I could sell some of my photos I took down there for $300 to $500 each like hotcakes. I also and going to have a showing here in Memphis..........time and date I will let you all know and if you happen to be in HELL that particular day....please stop on in! LOL In the meantime, please keep up with my other blog Fresh Eyeballs.

4- life ...I have some serious shit to deal with in my life now. I HAVE to focus on me and my family, if that includes "Elmer" or not, that is to be determined. He knows where I stand and what I expect. Happiness is paramount to me, it affects my kids, and it will be achieved one way or another.

Until then, I will be shutting down Rooster Noodle Soup - but Fresh Eyeballs is still up and I will be contributing to Art Blog Challenge. I soon will be opening up a new webpage (not blog) with the help of a good pal. It will be the real me and not Doo Dah undercover.

I love you all (and many more of you) out there in blogville. You are some truly cool people who have been totally supportive of me in my pain and whatnot. Keep in touch via email and pop in on Fresh Eyeballs from time to time. Rooster may be back around again..............probably sooner than I could imagine right now.

Loads of blogger love and kisses
Doo Dah

ok - ok - just one more b4 I leave....

2006-07-20T15:06:00.000-05:00

I just recvd this on email and I ROFLMFAOPMP ! ! ! !

You GO GIRL EMILY ! YEEEEEE HAW !

I am offffffffffffffffff!

2006-07-20T08:34:00.000-05:00

no, not my rocker, not that I would not agree with that.....

I am off ta the beach!

I be totally unpluggered until July 31.

WOOO FUKKIN HOO!

ya'll behave now, and I talk to ya then, k?

Ifn ya'll behave, I promise to brings back some purty pictures.

Maybe even one me in my new swim suit!

TTFN

(ta ta for now)

My neighbor

2006-07-19T08:08:00.000-05:00

The udder day my neighbor, who is blonde, came a running up ta me in the field just a jumpin like a bunny!

I didnt knowed why she was a jumpin but I done thunk, "Doo Dah, what the heck, start jumpin up n down wif her n has ya sum fun".

She said, "I shore do has great news!"

I says back, "Great! Tells ole Doo Dah why you so danged happy".

She stopped jumpin, and she was a breathin heavy from all that there jumpin n shit, she done tole me that she was knocked up! I knowed that she been tryin fer a while so I done tole her, "That great girl! I could bust my britches fer ya!"

Then she done tole me, "There is more".

I axed, "Whachu mean there is 'more'?" She says, "Well, we not just havin jus one baby. We gonna has us some TWINS!"

I shonuf was plum tickled but amazed at how she knowed so soon after getting preggers, so I done axed her how she knowed it.

She says ta me, "Well, that thar was the easy part. I done went to Wal-Mart n they actually had a home test kit in a twin-pack. Both tests done come out positive!"

YEEEEEEEE HAW!

I is a Blog Slacker. . . . .

2006-07-18T08:02:00.000-05:00

But I has real good reasons!

It is quarterly PR tax month, and

I is leavin for vacation next week,

so I has to cram it all in before I leaves.

Sun.

Beer.

Sand.

Beer.

Gulf Shrimp.

More beer.

It'll all be worth it, and when I comes back all refreshed,

the blog will be better than ever!

Promise me ya'll wont up n leave me, now? I be back real soon.

Every Woman...

2006-07-17T16:52:00.000-05:00

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
a set of screwdrivers
a cordless drill
and a black lace bra

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
one friend who always makes her laugh
... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
eight matching plates
wine glasses with stems
and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
a feeling of control over her destiny

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job
how to break up with a lover
and how to confront a friend without ruining the friendship

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder
... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves
the width of her hips
or the nature of her parents...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...
but ITS OVER...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love
...or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone
... even if she doesn't like it

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
whom she can trust
whom she can't
and why she shouldn't take it personally

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she can and can't accomplish in one day...
a month...
and a year...

RED FRIDAY / Friday Feast 102

2006-07-14T07:51:00.000-05:00

Appetizer
Name one thing nice that you could do for someone else today.

I could lay on my stomach and let one the chilrens give me a neck/back massage and the udder chilren can rub peppermint lotion inta my feets. Dat be real nice.

Soup
When was the last time you were frightened by the weather?

Well, them galloping pigs flyin thru the air the udder day done skeered me real good.

Salad
What would you say is the most useful website or blog that you visit?

I just hates tootin my own horn, but nobody ever visits my blog for pictures.
http://www.fresheyeballs.blogspot.com/

As fer useful, I wood hafta say thisun:
useful website to visit

Main Course
Who was your favorite singer/group when you were a child?

I shore did like them lil boys that sang about the bad apple. My momma called me a bad apple so I guess I kinda unnerstood, and it helped me knowed I wouldnt spoil the whole bunch.

Dessert
Do you have any rituals? If so, what are they?

Well, shore do! I gets up in the mornin and I eats breakfast. Then, round bout noon, I eats my lunch. Come later like 6 ta 7, I eats supper, then pert near 11 I falls back ta sleep.

- - -

What is Friday's Feast and how can I join the table?

click here : Friday Feast

- - -

Why am I blogging in all red and WTF is Red Friday?

click here: RED FRIDAY

M.I.A.

2006-07-13T12:30:00.000-05:00

sorry
no HNT today
no blog words of wisdom from the crountry-fried sexpot
no silly pictures or jokes to share

dont forget to wear red tomorrow..........

I shall return

Until then

SMOOCHES

Galloping Pig?

2006-07-11T11:29:00.000-05:00

OK, like here is the scenario:

You are driving in a car at a constant speed.

On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you.

In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.

Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level.

Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the same speed as you.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

Answer:
Get off the Goddamm children's merry-go-round !
- - - -you're drunk.

UGH

2006-07-10T09:49:00.000-05:00

BEEN TRYIN SINCE 7AM

FUGGIN BLOGGER IS BEING AN ASS TODAY

SO THE PRETTY PICTURES TO GO WITH THIS SONG

JUST AINT THERE

FUGGER BLOGGER

THAT, AND THE RETURNS KEEP DISAPPEARIN

SO I HAD TO PUT IN THESE DASHES

JEEE-SUS AHY ON A MONDAY??

- - -

Six oclock already

I was just in the middle of a dream

I was kissin' Valentino

By a crystal blue Italian stream

But I cant be late

Cause then I guess I just wont get paid

These are the days

When you wish your bed was already made

- - -

Its just another manic Monday

I wish it was Sunday

Cause thats my funday

My I don't have to runday

It's just another manic Monday

- - -

Have to catch an early train

Got to be to work by nine

And if I had an air-o-plane

I still couldn't make it on time

Cause it takes me so long

Just to figure out what Im gonna wear

Blame it on the train

But the boss is already there

- - -

All of the nights

Why did my lover have to pick last night

To get down

Doesnt it matter

That I have to feed the both of us

Employments down

He tells me in his bedroom voice

Cmon honey, let's go make some noise

Time it goes so fast

When you're having fun

Red Friday

2006-07-07T12:52:00.000-05:00

The Blogville men all sing this song!
Doo Dah! Doo Dah!
Road thru Blogvilles couple mouse clicks long!
Oh! All Doo Dah Day!

Oh, the long legged filly Doo done come ta da race!
Doo Dah! Doo Dah!
Come see da Doo play with style and grace!
Oh! All Doo Dah Day!

Come fly with Doo like a railroad car!
Doo Dah! Doo Dah!
Runnin on coffee like a shootin star!
Oh! Da Doo Dah Day!

Goin to party all night!
Goin to play, yall will see!
I bet my lil 'uns aint gonna sag!
Yer big'uns will hang ta yer knees!

- - -

. . . Why am I blogging in red???

. . . Why am I wearing red every Friday???

Please see HERE

HNT - Soap Up My Back??

2006-07-06T08:01:00.000-05:00

I'll keep my little ones

2006-07-06T07:51:00.000-05:00

A Jordanian View of my Troop Support

2006-07-03T10:45:00.000-05:00

After my blog regarding supporting our troops, it was neither pro- or anti-war, I recvd a comment from a Jordanian, and I would like to post it to bring his view to you. I also have copied my reply to him.

I have no intention of being political with him or anybody. I simply support brave people who fight (and risk their lives) for others. They are the bravest of brave, in my opinion, to risk death for other people including peoples of other countries. I also want to say I dont mean to be nasty toward him, and please keep in mind these are my views, right or wrong in your mind, they are mine and this is MY blog.

And, just so yall know, I am so anti-political it isnt funny. I am neither Democrat or Republican, I vote purely best candidates and despise those who vote straight party. Yes, I vote, as it is my right, but as a business leader in my community, I am invited to many political functions and fundraisers, and have been backstabbed by political people that I thought were friends for even the stupidest things. Politickie people, those who live and breath politickie shit, get on my last nerve.

Anyway, without further delay, here is the blog comments :

HIS COMMENTS:
Hi,
We here need your prayers, and need your support, we are humans, like you are, we don't need troops in this regions, we need you humans,I'm glad that you all stand for your soldiers, but we don't need your soldiers, we need the help of othe human beings, hand in hand we can win.

MY REPLY:
Oh yea, eyad, like I can bring them home, all on my own, just for you.

You contradict yourself.

Why dont you appreciate that we ARE trying to help stabalize the area in order TO bring more human help TO the area.

The humans you want to come and help will not come to the region until it is secure for them to be there. So far, I have not seen it is.

If I, as a business person, were to come there to help build industry and business, I would be in danger of harm or death at this current time. How can I do that to myself and to my family? You see, in THAT statement I admit that I am not that brave, so therefore, I admire those who are risking their lives FOR YOUR MIDDLE EASTERN COUNTRIES. They arent over there fighting for only Americans, they are fighting a war against idiots like the terrorists who take precious other human lives, in order to make YOUR COUNTRY AND YOUR REGION OF THE WORLD a better place for YOU to live. Then in the end, world peace will make it a better place for ALL OF US to live.

This blog was not intended to be Pro-war or Anti-war, it was just to support those brave people, who are human, who fight and spill blood for all of us, and most obviously, for you and your Middle Eastern countries.

RED FRIDAY

2006-06-30T11:13:00.000-05:00

Some people are trying to start a silent trend. Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing red every Friday.

The reason? Americans should no longer be silent. We should voice our love for God, our country and our home. We do not have to be organized, boisterous or over-bearing. We dont need no media coverage to reflect our message or our opinions.

Many Americans, like you, me and all our friends, simply want to recognize that the vast majority of America supports our troops. This is not Republican or Democrat, Anti-Bush or Christian, for or against the war.

We should simply show that we support for our troops with dignity and respect.

It should start with you this Friday and continue each and every Friday until our troops all come home. Every red-blooded American who supports our men and women afar should wear something red.

By word of mouth, let us make the United States a sea of red on every Friday, much like a homecoming football game in the bleachers. If every one of us who loves this country will share this with acquaintances, co-workers, friends, and family, it will not be long before the USA is covered in RED and it will let our troops know the American people is on their side more than ever, certainly more than the media lets on.

The first thing a soldier says when asked "What can we do to make things better for you?" is...We need your support and your prayers. Let's get the word out and lead with class and dignity, by example; and wear some thing red every Friday.

IF YOU AGREE -- THEN PUT ON YOUR BEST RED , AND SPREAD THE WORD.

I AM WEARING RED RIGHT NOW (yes and my red thong-ies) AND I WILL POST MY BLOG IN RED EVERY FRIDAY.

IT IS YOUR CHOICE. WE LIVE IN THE LAND OF THE FREE, ONLY BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE. THEIR BLOOD RUNS RED SO WEAR RED!

LET US TRULY BE ONE NATION, UNDER WHATEVER GOD YOU CHOOSE, SUPPORTING THOSE FIGHTING AND DYING FOR US AND OUR OPPORTUNITY TO BE FREE.

A Good List

2006-06-30T07:45:00.000-05:00

Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
When you lose, do not lose the lesson.
Follow the three Rs:
Respect for self,
Respect for others and
Responsibility for all your actions.
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
Do not let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
When you realize you have made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
Spend some time alone every day.
Open your arms to change, but do not let go of your values.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you will be able to enjoy it a second time.
A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Do not bring up the past.
Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.
Be gentle with the earth.
Once a year, go someplace you have never been before.
Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

HNT 2 Feet Firmly off the Ground

2006-06-29T07:18:00.000-05:00

. . .

I have scars that would break your heart

seen others so much worse

been the bottom of the list

when I needed to be first

but still I keep believing

in the goodness to be found

thats why you find me standing

two feet firmly off the ground

. . .

I have heard the rage and anger

the ridicule and blame

the judging of another

that's made in holy name

but what's the use of knowledge

if no hope can be found

you will hear a new voice

two feet firmly off the ground

. . .

reach higher . . .dream

it is only as dark as the shadow makes it seem
and darkest shadows cast by a light

love is the truth of the heart

love is the one place to start

. . .

. . .

betcha cant guess what my favorite kind of shoes are!

(( . . . and dont laugh at my knarled broken up

ex-ballerina toes. they is lookin damm good.

compared. . . ))

RIP Eddie the dog

2006-06-28T11:28:00.000-05:00

yes, folks, sad sad day.

Moose, who portrayed the mischevious dog Eddie on Frayser, has passed on.

One of my all time fav shows.

...and I dont watch that much TV.

Doo's prayer Ditty for the Day

2006-06-28T07:24:00.000-05:00

Dear LORD,

So far today, God, Ive done all right. I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or over-indulgent. I am really glad about that.

But, in a few minutes, God, I am going to get out of bed, and from then on, I am probably going to need a lot more help from you.

Thank you and Amen.

Alphabet Soup

2006-06-27T08:23:00.000-05:00

((I stole this from Locutus of Borg ))

A - Available: . . . soon
A - Age: 42
A - Annoyance: Intolerance

B - Best Friend: Joanne
B - Beer: strong-Becks . . . light-Rolling Rock
B - Birthday: Aug 12

C - Crush: Orange
C - Car: new black Tahoe
C - Candy: Dove Chocolate

D - Day or night: day
D - Dream Car: new black Tahoe
D - Dog Or Cat: Have a Lab, want a Pug or Boston Terrier

E - Easiest person to talk to: the mirror
E - Eggs: over easy but we call em dippy eggs
E - Email: 2 addresses for me, 1 each kid

F - Favorite Month: April
F - Favorite color: orange
F - Favorite Memory: my daughter in the Nutcracker

G - Gummy Bears or Worms: bears
G - Giver or taker: giver
G - Gum: Dentyne Vanilla-Peppermint Ice

H - Hair Color: Brown
H - Height: 5' 9"
H - Happy: working on it!

I - Ice Cream: Grape Ice from Baskin Robbins
I - Instrument: I wish I played something, prefer the sax
I - Idol: Mother Teresa

J - Jewelry: simple - gold
J - Jail: never

K - Kids: 2 preteenagers
K - Kickboxing or Finger Painting: finger painting :)

L - Longest Car Ride: longest=14 hr..,most boring=thru Kansas YAWN
L - Longest relationship: 10 years
L - Last Kiss: couple weeks ago

M - Milk flavor: Whole
M - Most missed person(s): Dave
M - Movie Last Watched: Carolina

N - Number of Siblings: just my brother
N - Number of Tattoos: 0
N - Name: Doo Dah

O - One wish: find happiness
O - One Phobia: calustaphobia
O - One regret: wanting too much

P - Pet Peeves: people using the word retard
P - Part of your appearance you like best: mole on my butt cheek
P - Part of your Personality you like best: creative

Q - Quick or Slow: slow

R - Reason to smile: my kids really turned out 2B good people
R - Reality TV Show: American Idol
R - Reason to cry: lonliness

S - Song Last Heard: some Bob Marley tune
S - Season: Fall
S - Shoe: 8.5

T - Time you woke: 6 am
T - Time Now: 830 am
T - Time for bed: 10 pm

U - U love someone: yes
U - Unpredictable: sometimes ;)yep

V - Vegetable you hate: I like them all
V - Virgin: no
V - Vacation spot: Carolina beaches

W - Worst Habits: wasting time on blogs!!

X - X-Rated Porn: no desire

Y - Year you were born: 64
Y - Year it is now: 06
Y - Yellow: flowers

Z - Zoo Animal: flamingo
Z - Zodiac: Leo

Doo is BACK

2006-06-26T11:33:00.000-05:00

yeeeeeee-HAW!

Ok, I was suppose ta take the chilrens to my MaMa's fer a couple of weeks, then I gots that hee-bee-jee-bee stuff that Elmer and the kids done had. I guess thats what happen when you take care of everbody, you always end up with it.

PEE-ukes and the runs, then ya good fer 'bout a day but ya feel plumb wore out then it turns on your head and infects your sinuses. I was down, and I mean completely down in the bed, for about 6 days and still aint feelin no good. My ears are all pluggy and I is blowin my nose till it is raw and red.

BUT! . . .
I IS ALIVE!!!

I done thought I was so sick I was gonna meet my maker. And I watched ever show on HGTV & DIY and such so I know how I is gonna remake over this entire house and make good furniture outta flea market shit. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was too sickly to drive still, and I felt poor that the chilren had ta take care of me whilst I was sick (Elmer was in Denver all week) , so I asked Elmer if'n he could help me drive em up halfway, and we met my MaMa and Daddy 5 hours north of here yesterday. At least the chilrens wont have to miss their trip to Grandmas house on accounta me.

Well, I have piles on my desk here, and I gots ta get to it, so I was a just yellin HOWDEE to ya'll and I hope ya'll have a real good week, now, ya'hear?

((and, double the smooches to all who cared to give me advice recently. I am making some tough decisions, and all of the love and advice was much appreciated. I even gots some from bloggers I know and peep at and didnt know they knowed ME! Thanks everbody, I will keep you posted. I love all of my pals in Blogville. What a great bunch of people you truly are. ~ ~ doo dah))

Thanks everybody

2006-06-20T08:32:00.000-05:00

I really appreciate all of the support and advice I have recvd. I am suppose to have left for my hometown yesterday, but became ill and just got out of bed. I guess I picked up what the rest of the family had.

I will be back . . . . . . .

More observations

2006-06-16T11:37:00.000-05:00

I just emailed with a blog pal and some things about me and the situation were poignant, so I am clipping those to you also in order to get more comments and guidence from ya'll.

See, I married Elmer because he was not like that. He cooked, cleaned, ran a household, bla bla bla because he had never been married before. So I had no reason to believe he would get lazy and spoiled.

His parents are very traditional, she is very Martha Stewartish, if Dad needs his butt wiped, she would do it. And he is RUDE as all get out to her.

I now see similarities in Elmer, and he doesnt like the way his Dad treats Mom, and when I say something about him being like his Dad, it infuriates him.

My parents were vastly different. They freely swore. Mom likes to say fuck a duck when she goofs. They drank, we knew what they did when they went "road trippin" in their customized van with a bed in it and a 12 pak of beer. We were very free and easy.

My Mom knew about us smokin pot in high school, and even one night took a toke and we laughed til we cried. All my friends called my Mom MOM. Everybody was always at our house, we had a pool and all.

My stuckness is that:

(1) I do not want to hurt him

(2) my kids, dang it is hard to uproot them from all that they have known, friends, school, Southern drawls.

(3) I own an Accounting business here and I would have to start over from scratch if I moved back to XXXXXX, not that it would be a bad thing, because I really am tired of Accounting, been doing it since I was in Jr High, I did my parent's store's books.

Answers - some anyway

2006-06-16T09:35:00.000-05:00

Alot of comments (lengthy ones) and alot of emails. I REALLY appreciate all of your support. Amazingly enough, your words were different than I expected. And, to tell you the truth, getting it all out of inside of me was extremely theraputic.

So, to all of you, here are the answers to your many questions and observations:

He makes over 6 digits, so money isnt really an "issue" as he makes it. You would think we were dirt poor. That, and I own my Accounting Practice, which generates a nice income.

I have sat and talked and cried to him. He still refuses to see that he is anything but perfect. Never wrong. He actually blames me, he has decided that I suffer from depression (I think he has seen too many commercials on TV). Anything but to admit he could ever be wrong. When we do talk, or I implode, he will pick up the pace, get some things done. it lasts a couple of weeks at best, and then back to the same ole same ole.

When we talk/argue/discuss, he is so much better of a debater than I am. Ok, I am woman, I cry. I am an emotional creature. I also am the type to wear my heart on my sleeve, any emotion I feel is 10 times bigger than anybody else seems to. My mind races to answer or question or accuse. he can think so much faster than me in the heat of an arguement. he will always turn one word out of a sentence and make it not what I meant. I end up being the bad guy. And I ALWAYS end up saying, thats NOT what I meant, thats NOT what I said, quit twisting my words. So much so, that I even refuse to talk anymore.

Yes, my self esteem was broken down to nil with the first husband, Elmer boosted it up for a bit now it is back to nothing.

The kids - - - ok. They love him. He is the only real father they have known (no they have close to zero relationship with the drunk that unfortunatly is their biological father). Yes, they comment on my sadness and they come to me after hearing something and say "mom YOU were SO right". My daughter and I have glances like best friends do, she will look at me in the eye, knowing, and I look back.

They have both mentioned they want happy mom back. They both say they know I am sad.

I also notice that my son is developing habits of Elmer. He refuses to accept blame for anything, never says he is sorry. That bothers me, because I want him to be a good man when he grows up. Also, if he is suppose to help clean up the kitchen, he will pace around doing nothing, pretending to work but actually doing nothing.

Yes, I plan on leaving Monday for XXXXXX (back home) and spend a week or two with my parents and my best friend. The car is at the dealership today being readied for a 600+ mile trip, you know, oil changes, tires properly inflated, etc etc.

Happy Friday to you all, and THANKS. My heart overflowed with love from my blog pals.

HNT- the nekked truth

2006-06-15T10:05:00.000-05:00

Today I bare my soul, not a body part.

I am really sorry that I am being a bummer, so unlike the goofy giddy Doo Dah, but if you have read my blog for some time, then you will know the situation. Just as I think things are going better between he and I, because I really am trying, things go from good to bad in a millisecond.

I have recvd alot of emails about this, and I also notice that nobody comments on the blog when I am sour. Music is my soul, and when I am blue, it comes out in various songs that I know, my crying songs as I call them. I just cannot bring myself to blog anything positive or upbeat. Hell, I havent even blogged any photos lately. At one time, I posted a photo once a day. So, I attempted to do a few photos lately, and I cannot even get joy from that anymore.

So, sans the fake country fried accent, because most of you know I put that on just for kicks and giggles to make fun of where I live at the moment, I will try to talk. I really am not a country person, I was born and raised and lived in the city until I moved out here to the sticks 3 yrs ago.

I conversed with Memphis Steve a week or so ago on email, and he made alot of sense, from what I told him. This is partially clipped from that email, and I thought that I might put up that because it spilled so easily from me. I told him that I probably would do this. I just annot always find the words to express ME.

This is my second marriage. My first ended because he became a hateful drunk and then that escalated into abuse. Mental and physical. He kept me at home, only gave me how much money I needed to buy diapers and food, told me I was stupid and worthless. The bad shit always happened when the babies werent around, and it wasn’t too bad, a bruised upper arm where he liked to punch me, a cigarette burn on my theigh, a telephone upside the head causing bruised ear and slight chipped tooth, really no huge OMG SHE IS AN ABUSED WOMAN look to me. The one Saturday afternoon he sat on my chest, stinky drunk at noon, slapping my face and poking me in the chest with his finger, choking me in front of my 2 year old autistic son, I crawled to another room, dialed 911 and looked him dead in the eye and said YOU ARE SO FUCKING OUTTA HERE.

Ok, deep breath. Like, I really never ever tell that story. Being Catholic, I believed in til death do us part, and put up with alot many years for the sake of helping him. John Boy was something that I thought would help, be a family man. No, that ended up to be "stressful" and he had to "pull more weight at work" which meant more stress and more drinking. Ellie was a result of a drunken rape. I dont even want to get into that, because that happened more than that one time, so I would just lay there and get fucked and stare at the ceiling, tears in my ears. Do what I was told, no pain.

My current husband and I have known each other since 1982. He came to that wedding when I married the idiot. We had been friends for a long time through work. After my divorce, I went back to school, bought a little tiny house of my own and worked full time while raising the 2 babies. One day, he called me up and asked how I had been, he hadnt heard from me in a while. So we gabbed forever, caught up, laughed. We long distance dated for 6 months, I would fly to Memphis or he would fly to XXXXXX, then he finally asked me to move to this Godforsaken place and be with him. A 20yr pal, now a romance, a genuine good guy, never says the word fuck, everybody loves him, admires him, good job, good man, never raises voice, drinks but not more than 2 to 3 beers so has fun. Best friend. How could I resist?

He is a procrastinator, plain and simple. And beyond a penny pincher, he would actually try to squeeze blood from a turnup. He was a 40yr old bachelor, lived on his own, never married. I spoiled him, I guess, because I am a caregiver. A do-er. I am superwoman, cook clean single mom of 2 kids (1 being autistic) work full time furthering my education at night sitting on the washer/dryer at 2am studying because the noise/movement keeps me awake and I still spend as much time with my toddlers as possible in the bathtub and reading books and they cook and clean with me cause I make it a game. So I move down here and I end up spoiling him. He does nothing. Now he comes home, changes, shits, washes his face, grabs the paper, sits and waits on dinner, eats, watches tv til 11, wants sex when I drop from going nonstop since 5:45am.

Not that the sex is bad. After the first asswipe husband, it took me a while to be able to enjoy it, and he taught me well. Now, he seems to have reverted to goofy play, tickle, be weird, no love love love anymore. It is giggle giggle giggle. He says "mmmm, my sweetie". Never "I love you". I feel like we have gone backward in time. it doesnt feel like lovemaking anymore. I again am staring at the ceiling. He gets pleasure, I do not.

The move out here to the 20 acres has been fun, but we bought this big ole house with a lot of renovations to do, and here it sits, been painted inside, but that is it. Half done projects everywhere. Shit stacked up in every room still, 3 yrs later. He bushhogs the overgrowth from the previous owner, then jumps to another side of the property, and then it all grows back before he gets back to it. Same with the inside of the house. Everything is half done.

So, I sit here, working my ass off owning my own business, day in and day out. I am tired. I am emotionally drained. I am bored. We do NOTHING. It costs money, which needs to be shopped to death before a purchase made. Eat out? Costs money. To take me out, including birthdays and occasions, we need to see what coupons he has or gift certificates from vendors. Imagine asking your wife to pick a place to eat out on her birthday - only pick just from these coupon options.

And, the 5yr wedding anniversary (I have been living here 10, getting married was a procrastination too, I had thoughts that maybe I wasnt good enough to marry, then I think he just settled) was Apr 7, and as I told you then, and I tell you now, still no gift.

I am sad. I am getting fatter by the second because I eat to stave off depression. I now drink every night, partly to relax and partly to feel good. It seems to be the only time I smile. He rolls his eyes at me doing that lately, but I decide fuck off. I don’t wear makeup anymore, no need, dont go nowhere. Cut my hair, all of us, because he has no time to sit in line at a Supercuts for a $7 haircut and wouldn’t pay more than that to get an appt. Ellie's hair is butt length and straight, so I trim it too. Me - salon? You have got to be kidding. Cost is considered astronomical. So I cut it straight across the back and call it a bob.

I want a life. I want to be happy. I want to have fun. I want romance. I heard an old song on the radio from when I was 13 at the roller rink, skating to couples in the moonlight. "Girl I know its been a while. Guess you'll be glad to know, that I learned how to laugh and smile" It made me laugh the other night because my very first crush and I skated to that song. My first kiss. Bobby! LOL so, I grabbed him and put my arms around his neck and I placed his hands on my hips, you know, 13yr old dancing, and just wanted to hold him close and sway and feel him against my body. He got all goofy as usual and made it a joke, humped and swayed fast and I just walked away and said forget it and poured another glass of wine.

He doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body. He doesn’t think of me, like what I might like for my birthday. My wedding ring, for example, we discussed it, he knew I wanted something a little different because that is just how I am, I am an artistic person. I wanted different, maybe square stone and my light green birthstones on the sides. I didn’t care the design, just make it different than anybody elses. I got a round 1 carat solitare, with diamond crusted bands on both sides very old fashioned and traditional, like our Mommas would have got. Its what HE wanted, not what I wanted.

Being Catholic, I really do not want another divorce. I wouldn’t want anything from him, cost wouldn’t be a factor in divorce, we would agree on things first then go to 1 lawyer. I did the rough one the first divorce. I have been depressed about this for years. Then we move out here to nothingville. I am lonely. I want to go home to XXXXXX. I hate Tennessee.

Ok, I have pounded on this keyboard long enough, I am probably boring ya'll to tears. Sorry. I just don’t know what to do, and this seems to be a place where people spill feelings, comments come back as to what I should do. I have been here since 1996 and I miss home more and more every day. I hate to uproot teenagers, now they have accents and move them back to XXXXX where they will be made fun of, then there is school. Half asssed edufuckingcation here in Tennessee, they would have to go back a couple of grades to catch up to the kids in XXXXX.

Mps Steve told me to go to counseling together. Thing is, I have tried to talk to him. He just doesnt think he does anything wrong, he thinks he is the perfect catch. It is his upbringing, he was the miracle child, the boy to carry on the name, he was told everything he did was wonderful and perfect.

Aw, I am ready to leave tomorrow, but you know the real kicker???? I dont want to hurt him. Doesnt that SUCK? he is such a good friend, that I cannot imagine hurting him. Even for the better of me.

So, I sit here and cry over songs that explain my feelings better than I can.

tear

2006-06-14T12:57:00.000-05:00

its raining

its pouring

my love life is boring me to tears

after all these years

no sunshine

no moonlight

no stardust

no sign of romance

we don't stand a chance

I always dreamed Id find the perfect lover

but he turned out to be like any other man

Ive known

raining

pouring

theres nothing left for me here

and

wont waste

another

tear

Sadness

2006-06-13T10:40:00.000-05:00

a thin ice

covers my soul

my bodys frozen

and my heart is cold

. . . and still

so much about me is raw

I search for a place to unthaw

something in me

broods love into fear

it veils my vision

leaves my thoughts unclear

my eyes

from blue turn to grey

hoping to mask what they say

Ive been outside

myself

for so long

any feeling I had

is close to gone

Ive been

outside myself

for so long

I have been

in a storm of the sun

basking . . .

senseless to what Ive become

a fool

to worship just light

when after all, it follows night

Ive been outside myself

for so long

any feeling I had is

close to gone

Ive been outside myself

for

so long

Big Ben

2006-06-12T13:56:00.000-05:00

Please pray for the recovery of

our injured young American hero

Ben Roethlisburger

Pass The Bucket Weekend

2006-06-12T08:48:00.000-05:00

Ok, ya'll know how much it sucks to be the only one NOT SICK and ya hafta take care of ever body else?

Elmer came home from work midday Friday barfin and peee-ukin. This man has been sick like twice in his life.

Then, Saturday morning, sounds of John Boy ralphing woke me.

Ellie never got to the puke stage (yet) but had white lips and stayed in bed.

Me? I was the only hungry one, and I caint cook fer one.

Boring boring weekend, running from room to room with my face mask on and my can of Lysol, checkin and rinsing wash cloths cool. OMG what a life.

Hope everbody had better ones than me.

Friday Feast #97

2006-06-09T15:16:00.000-05:00

Happy Friday Peeps! I have done discovered the coolest thing next to HNT. It is called Friday Feasts, and it shore is better than those questionaires we be always stealin from one'nudder. So, ya'll interested, ever Friday they come out with new questions fer ya ta answer, and ya'll can get them at www.fridayfeast.blogspot.com. It shore done made it easier ta think up sumtin ta tell ya'll.

Appetizer
About how much money did you spend on gas this week?

Lemme see, the Enchaladas, Rice and Beans I had fer lunch the other day were about $6, then there was the 5 cans of pintos I bought at grocery yesterday at .47c ea, then the egg salad sandwich I made fer lunch today, figger about a buck of eggs and mayo, the Frito Bean dip, radishes and turnips I picked from the garden were free, and a few this'n'thats here and that maybe a grand total of about $15. . . . why?

Soup
What is your favorite brand of toilet paper?

fug, who da hell cares as long as my azz gits clean 'nuf not to mess my thongie up

Salad
When was the last time you discovered something that you thought was pure genius?

when I done discovered I could teach my chilrens to clean da house, dat wuz pure fuggin genius on my part, shore nuf, cause I hates spendin ever wakin moment cleanin da house.

Main Course
What is the least amount of sleep you can get by on per night?

5 ta 6 hours, I recon. Long as I has 'nuf coffameemee-ina-meemee.

Dessert
June is a popular month for weddings. Do you know anyone who is getting married this month?

No, I is at the age all my friends done hitched up already and they kids are all too young still, and ya'll gotta remember I lives in Tennefukkinsee, so the marryin age is 14. But I shore nuf do has alot of grad-e-ations this year, done spent all my money on other people kids, haint nearly gots nuf to feed my own chilrens. Dats ok, cause we be just eating them coons and possum runnin wild outs here in the sticks, ya know? We dont be goin hungry no time soon.

Bye ya'll, has yerself a good weekend and behave, see ya come Monday.
~ ~ doo dah

HNT lookie lookie

2006-06-08T10:10:00.000-05:00

Alright, I aint much good at this HNT thang, maybe I should try harder.

So, in order to bring myself upta speed, I reviewed my lame past ones and some those that was too much for me ta handle, and I hid fer days after them posts in pure embarrassment.

4/6 - I put up my first HNT of my feet - er flip flops.

4/20 - I flipped the birdie at assholes in this world.

4/27 - I showed you the shoulder in my purty party dress.

5/4 - I got really brave and showed ya the black thong hip shot.

5/11 - I got drunk after bein at the dentist and Chris voted off of American Idol.

5/18 - I licked a candle and got wax on one of my favorite shirts for ya'll. I shudda been drunk (refer back to 5/11).

- - -

Today, I show you my eyes.

- - -

If I close my eyes forever

Will it all remain unchanged?

If I close my eyes forever

Will it all remain the same...

Sometimes It's hard to hold on

So hard to hold on to my dreams

It isn't always what it seems

When you're face to face with me

More Upliftance ((snicker))

2006-06-08T08:39:00.000-05:00

FEMALE PRAYER

Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man, who's not a creep,

One who's handsome, smart and strong.

One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,

One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's gainfully employed,

When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,

Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,

Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"

I pray that this man will love me to no end,

And always be my very best friend.

Amen.

MALE PRAYER

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge

boobs who owns a liquor store and a bass boat.

This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit. Amen

(LMAO - is this better LeChat???)

. . .

Oh and I thinks I'll share my photo of

my masterpiece makin hamburgers last night.

Yes, I was daydreamin.

Give a whole new meanin ta beatin the meat, huh?

Who Pissed in YOUR Cheerios?

2006-06-07T07:55:00.000-05:00

I am having a great day,

sun shining,

Elmer and I getting along

(or at least he is trying),

planning a trip to Destin later this summer

. . . life seems pretty good right now.

SOOOOOO,

to the nay-sayers

grumps

unbelievers in joy

and piss-ants

in this world

who try to bring me

and others down,

I say to you:

WHO THE FUCK PISSED

IN YOUR CHEERIOS?

yeeeeeeeeee- HAW!

A Little Upliftance for Today :)

2006-06-06T08:31:00.000-05:00

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:13

The road to success is not straight.

There is a curve called Failure,

a loop called Confusion,

speed bumps called Friends,

red lights called Enemies,

caution lights called Family.

You will have flats called Jobs.

BUT!

If you have a spare called Determination,

an engine called Perseverance,

insurance called Faith,

a driver called Jesus,

you will make it to a place called Success.

Validation in Life

2006-06-05T09:22:00.000-05:00

Good Monday Morning!

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO excited I got ta tell ya'll this! This is a rare occasion of inner JOY in my heart!

OK, LONG STORY - - -I was invited somehow or another to join this Art Challenge Blog. All them people on there, and they is a ton of em, they is artists and DRAW. OMG they is SO good too. So, I accepted the invitation. www.artblogchallenge.blogspot.com

They do a challenge ever month. One month it was Sci-Fi, another month it was The Secret Lives of Elephants. I was like, OH SHIT, some of these I will not be able to participate in, where I's goin'a find me an elephant here in nofuckingwhere, but alot of the artists skip months. So, oh well. I shore did think it would challenge me ta photo things other than flowers and my barn.

This month, June 1 they done announced it was Las Vegas. So I rack my brain, and tried ta photograph some marischino cherries (ya know - 3 cherries KACHING jackpot!) and they really didnt turn out, maybe if I had fresh Bing ones, that might have worked. The jar marischinos just was yuck. And, I didnt wanna go to Graceland and photo Elvis stuff, BORING. And I not sure they even let cameras in.

So then, one afternoon I spies 3 lemons sitting in the fruit basket. I always buy lemons cause I use them alot in ice tea and club soda and cooking etc etc. So I get these 3 and call it "No Cherries, All Lemons" because pretty much I am a looser. Well, I shore did like the look.

So I submitted 2 of the shots, explained on the blog why I photo instead of draw anymore and thought, well either they accept me or not, I gave it a shot. I also included my fresh eyeballs blog for them to check me out. (By the way, I posted more of my experimental Las Vegas pics there at F.E. go and check em out)

None of them HAD ta comment, ya'll know you bloggers dont really negatively comment, ya'll kinda just move on to the next blog and not say anything if you aint impressed with what I has ta say. If they really enjoyed it, they'd comment.

It is one thing ta hear praise from family and friends, they aint goin'a to say EWWW that sucks cause they dont wanna be hurtin my feelings. But a couple of them Art Challenge people posted cool comments on the Fresh Eyeballs over the weekend, and this 'un actually brought tears ta my eyes. I had ta share it with ya'll!

This is what I call - VALIDATION. When a compadre - a peer - whatever you call it, makes a comment like this, WOW. Seriously, I alternated betweeen a snoopy dance and tears o'joy. It was one of the best moments of my life. Check this out:

Dear Challenge friend, sometimes there is no logic in things that happen to us. When I get into your pictures I can feel poetry. No matter the way to express yourself, you find the way. You make this argentinian, at the other side of the world, to write in english, to share what you eyes imagine. Thats art! A pleasure to meet you. And please keep your eyes open and let us dream with you. --Posted by Leo Batic to Fresh Eyeballs at 6/03/2006 05:57:18 PM

WOW! YEEEEEEEEEE HAW!

2006-06-02T11:10:00.000-05:00

I done stole this from the dude who looks like Mr Clean (I have to add him to my list over tare on da side, it is Free Writer, and No I shore nuf do NOT know how to link).

I have mine check with X in dark green, and may add comments in green italics. Have at it, I may do like the LeChat kitten and comment on MeMeMondays on each one I done checked, and maybe some those I didnt.

Do you have:
( ) your own cell phone NO I DO NOT HAVE ONE DONT WANT ONE
(X) a tv in your bedroom
( ) an ipod
(X) a photo printer
(X) your own phone line duh fer the office
( ) TiVo or a generic digital video recorder
(X) high-speed internet access (aka not dialup)
( ) a surround sound system in bedroom
(X) dvd player in bedroom
( ) at least a hundred DVDs
(X) a childfree bathroom
(X) your own in-house office
( ) a pool Momma back home does, dang I miss it
( ) a guest house
(X) a game room the yung'uns call it their living room ala teenagers
(X) a queen-size bed or larger KING BABY only way to go!
(X) a stocked bar how can I be a drunk without one? LOL
(X) a working dishwasher
(X) an icemaker
(X) a working washing machine and dryer
(X) more than 20 pairs of shoes I am woman hear me shop, er ROAR
(X) at least ten things from a designer store
(X) expensive sunglasses
(X) framed authentic art and even some of mine
(X) Egyptian cotton sheets or towels
(X) a multi-speed bike dunno, does a 10-speed count?
( ) a gym membership
( ) large exercise equipment at home
(X) your own set of golf clubs John-Boy uses them in the fields I dont have time
( ) a pool table
( ) a tennis court
(X) local access to a lake, large pond, or the sea the creek in the woods?
( ) your own pair of skis
( ) enough camping gear for a weekend trip in an isolated area
( ) a boat
( ) a jet ski
(X) a neighborhood committee membership LMFAO, yea, the snakes, coons, skeeters and I get 2gether ever once in a while.....
( ) a beach house or a vacation house/cabin
(X) wealthy family members
(X) two or more family cars do the John Deere count? I can go to the store on it.
(X) a walk-in closet or pantry
(X) a yard 20 fuggin acres, I would say YEP got one
(X) a hammock
( ) a personal trainer
(X) expensive jewelry
( ) a designer bag that required being on a waiting list to get
(X) at least $100 cash in your possession right now
(X) more than two credit cards bearing your name (not counting gas cards or debit cards) but I only use the one that gets me points off GM cars
(X) a stock portfolio
( ) a passport
( ) a horse
( ) a trust fund (either for you or created by you)
(X) private medical insurance
(X) a college degree, but no student loans

Do you:
( ) shop for non-needed items for yourself (like clothes, jewelry, electronics) at least once a week
( ) do your regular grocery shopping at high-end or specialty stores
( ) pay someone else to clean your house, do dishes, or launder your clothes (not counting dry-cleaning) HUH??????????????? Isnt that what I squirted them that chilrens out fer?
( ) go on weekend mini-vacations
( ) send dinners back with every flaw what, and I would have to recook them?
(X) wear perfume or cologne (not body spray)
( ) regularly get your hair styled or nails done in a salon Lawd, I fuggin WISH
( ) have a job but don’t need the money
( ) stay at home with little financial sacrifice
( ) pay someone else to cook your meals — not counting McDonalds again, KIDS should learn to cook at early age.
( ) pay someone else to watch your children or walk your dogs can I pay somebody to TAKE them?
( ) regularly pay someone else to drive you
( ) expect a gift after you fight with your partner O-MY-GAWD do people REALLY expect gifts? I am thankful for a "hello" when he walks in the door.

Are you:
( ) an only child
(X) married/partnered
( ) baffled/surprised when you don’t get your way

Have you:
( ) been on a cruise
( ) traveled out of the country
(X) met a celebrity hee hee heeeeeee!
( ) been to the carribean
( ) been to europe Goin to Italy soon! YAY
( ) been to hawaii Gots cousins there, gots ta get there someday
( ) been to new york city no desire
( ) eaten at the space needle in seattle
(X) been to mall of america
( ) been on the eiffel tower in paris aint been to Europe, how couldda I done that?
( ) been on the statue of liberty in new york again, no desire
(X) moved more than three times because you wanted to
(X) dined with local political figures
( ) been to both the Atlantic coast and the Pacific coast Been to Pacific and Gulf, never Atlantic

Did you:
( ) go to another country for your honeymoon Colorado first one, still aint taken second and aint lookin promisin
( ) hire a professional photographer for your wedding or party
(X) take riding or swimming lessons as a child
(X) attend private school us Catholic girls know how ta have all the fun **wink**
(X) have a Sweet 16 birthday party thrown for you

T.G.I.F.F.

2006-06-02T07:43:00.000-05:00

Blame Memphis Steve, he started dumb joke day today. . . . .
Anyway, this reminds me of my visit with the

Psychic Dumb Dumb.

(If you havent had a reading, try it for fun)

Jennifer visited a psychic of some national repute.

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball,

the mystic delivered grave news:

"There's no easy way to say this,Ma'am, so I'll just be blunt :

prepare yourself to be a widow.

Your husband will die a violent and horrible death within the year."

Visibly shaken, Jennifer stared at the woman's lined face.

Then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands.

She took a few deep breaths to compose herself.

...With a visible effort, she steadied herself...

...met the fortune teller's pitying gaze..

and in a quavering voice, asked:

"Will I be acquitted?"

I Spy Private Eye

2006-06-01T11:14:00.000-05:00

Ya know, I has been a thunkin of late that I would like to change my perfession. Accounting has become mundane and boring, I feel like a kid tied to a chair bein made ta do homework.

I has yet ta figger out what I really wants ta be when I grow up. Dammm, better hurry, huh, since I am 42.

Back a ways, I dated a Police Chief. He and I were going thru divorces, and I knewed his wife and we were all three friends. Well, truth be known, I didnt really "date" him, we were best buds. He was quite a bit older than me, then he became possessive of me, and I had just shed myself of a possessive overbearing asswipe, so's I shore'nuf didnt need anudder. Ya know?

Well, hangin out with him durin that time was kinda fun. I liked police work, but woulda hated bein shot at. I like detective work.

And, there is my reading. I likes me a good murder mystery. My favorite game growin up was Clue. I loved Barnaby Jones, Columbo, Kojak, Charlies Angels, Pepper the Cop Chick, etc etc etc.

And, over the past couple of days, me and this pal of mine have been discussing a missing person. The plot thickens with every scrap of paper, every search of the local paper, every bit of evidence gathered. . . . . . I am obsessed. LOL I believe we know EXACTLY what happened.

SO, I can totally imagine myself in a Columbo rain coat, nuttin on underneath cept my thong and a holster and gun. Oh, and I would grow my Farrah do back and feather the shit outta it with hairspray. Red glossy lipstick. . . . . . or blackkkkkk with black fingernails and black pumps. YOWZA

I WILL SOLVE THIS MYSTERY, dadnabit, COUNT YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR ON IT!

YEEEEEEEEEEE-HAW!

Blog Ketch-up

2006-05-26T08:56:00.000-05:00

Sorry that I haint blogged ya'll for a bit.

I gonna splain, then I got some stuff to gets offa my chest.

Work has been unbearably busy. Home life is in termoil. Elmer and I are pretty close to callin it kapoots. He and I done had it out the other day, I told him I was plumb tired of doin it all and sits on his ass readin the paper or watchin the television. He swears is never wrong UGH I fuggin hates me them bullheaded people. My baby aint a baby no mo, Ellie started her period.

And then, 2 things happened yesterday, both are related yet separate, which brings me ta the reason that I blog today, I gots ta get this off of my chest.

Before I blogged, and a little into the beginning of bloggin, I was a poster on a message board.

Now, if'n ya'll aint never been on a message board, then ya'll in for a wide open eye awakenin. It is a little weirder than bloggin, for people get catty and fight and hide behind numerous names and pretend they arent that name (they call it trolling), well, needless ta say, it gets pretty nasty. To boot, it was majority women, and figger women who aint got nuttin better ta do with most their day than talk to pretend pals on a message board. Now, I unnerstand there is exceptions to that, like me, I was on for a few hours a day, hell, I own a business. But if'n ya were to go in at any given time, morning noon night, middle of night, some of those broads were on there ALL THE TIME. Jeeez, what a sad life and existence.

I has dropped that part of my life for the blog world, people comment, they dont fight. I has made some blog pals, we check each other's blogs and laugh and comment. HNT is fun, I aint never seen anybody tell one person they was flabby or ugly when posting a HNT. Everbody is cool with each other.

These broads on the MB have been doing what they call "trolling", and that is that hiding behind fake names and picking on people who in everday think they are friends. It is backstabbin in the worst way. You get to know a person on the board, then troll and say the things that will hurt them the most. If you let anything out about yourself, you are in for an attack. They will pick on anything, and it is really sad. People are truly hurt over this stuff.

One chick even gets on, starts a topic like racism, or something people has really big opinions about, then says "Oh, welll I gots to run and work/eat lunch/do something" and supposedly leaves, when in fact, she backs out just as arguing commences, maybe pops in as a name nobody thinks is her, makes trouble, when all her pals come to her rescue, comes back in and says the same thing every time, "LMAO, this board cracks me up!". It takes a real peanut brain to figure this broad out, but yet, some of them are so blind to her, it is halarious. She has a following who claim that she never fights. GAWD some people are SO FUGGIN BLIND.

Ok, so I was at this point of seldom ever posting on there because I had got my blog groove on and was enjoying myself. I had done left the petty shit behind and was happier for it.

About 4 months ago, a friend asks me to pop in and have some fun. So, I go on this particular day and have goofy fun, posting fun stuff, like "remember when" 1970s stuff. We was all having the time of our lives remembering banana seats and Dr Scholls and Candies shoes, I had a Mrs Beasley doll, etc etc etc. When out the blue, comes this chick out of nowhere and claims I was this nasty troll that had been pesterin some of the women on that board a few weeks before. Now, I saw that troll, and I actually agreed with the troll, all he did was point out some quirks, but really did no one any harm like others have.

Needless to say, I was a bit shocked, cause I sure nuf dont have all dammm day long like some these women on there that waste their lives away on this board. I was hurt. I dont know why I cared so much, but I hates being falsely accused of something.

I had this friend on this board who I had grown pretty close with. She was, and still is, alot like me. She knows me, and I asked her to stick up for me. She refused. I was blown away. This girl and I had gone beyond the message board, we knew each other's addresses and phone numbers, we emailed every day, several times a day. I cared very deeply for her, like a life long friend. I sent a monetary donation for her sister who has terrible MS and is a single mom. I sent herbs from my garden. I sent Christmas gift. When she refused to stand by me and simply say "DooDah is not like that" I was offended. Yes, I lashed at her. I called the friendship quits. I am the truest friend that you will ever have. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I am brutally honest, but I am as loyal as a dog. My friends I have had all of my life know this. I am a friend thru thick and thin, and ya can count on me for anything. Somebody doesnt return the friendship, yes, I has harsh words to say.

Then, the troll stuff erupts again yesterday. Not that I was on that board, I have avoided the anger there for a long time, havent even missed it. I recvd a bunch of emails from those people letting me know it was happening (probably hoping I would go in and argue, just so they can get their jollies). One of which was my friend. I have not heard from her for months. Then out the blue, she emails, with a little angel picture, and wants to know if I knew the truth, and if indeed I was that troll. I was pissed, the fuggin girl never knew me at all. If she did, she would know it wasnt me.

So I blew at her. Nicely at first. I was like "why did you now decide to email me"?

She wrote back "why not?? the fake sugar was fuggin drippin offa that email. I could have just seen her batting her eyelashes. . . .

So I ripped her a new one.

Of course, being bullheaded like my Elmer, and being so much like me, she tossed it all back on me.

I was like OOOOOOOOOOO KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY, is this chick worth my blood pressure any more? NO

Do I care what she and those others that I havent talked to for months think about me anymore? NO

Now, the oddest part comes forth - I lurk in and peek at what is going on and why my name is in this, and I find out that another friend has faked-up an email from me, and diced up the verbage and sent it to others to try to prove I was the troll. I was like, looking thru history of my emails and I found the one she forwarded, and it didnt say those things. When she forwarded, she edited words in and out of my portion of the email.

I mean, really, this whole blog post, my mind races to tell you and to try to comprehend, why are people like this?

What possible pleasure do people get from making people upset? and then faking it to make somebody else, an innocent bystander, the culpret?

WHAT FUCKIN KIND OF WORLD DO WE LIVE IN?

HNT on FIRE

2006-05-18T10:05:00.000-05:00

Baaaaa-beeeee

here I am

Im here on yo scene

I can give you what you want

But you gotta come-a home with me

I got some good ole lovin

and I got some mo in store

When I get ta throwin on you

You gotta come-a runnin back for more

Women come along a dime by the dozen

They aint nothing but ten cent lovin

Hey little thing

let me light your candle

cause honey Im sure hard to handle now

American Idol Gripin

2006-05-17T09:31:00.000-05:00

Ok, like I thought American Idol was kinda boring last night.

Granted, I thought all 3 done blowed it out and pulled out stops. Well, Taylor and Elliot did, I thought Katharine screwed it up with her final (and her) song choice.

I hope she goes buh-BYE tonight. She should'da went last week.

I am continually amazed by Elliott, he gets better and better ever week. He was amazing last night.

Taylor is just out and out outstanding and I has thought so since day 1. His stage personna MAKES him a star. Simon may call it queer and odd dancing, but isnt that what entertaining is all about? Nobody said you had to be a good dancer, but he feels the music, that makes him a star. Love him.

BUT, I did think he should'da hit that high note on the You Are So Beautiful song last night.

BUT! CHRIS DAUGHTRY SHOULD HAVE WON THE WHOLE FUGGIN THING. The dude ROCKED and STAYED TRUE to his style, improvised standards to make it his style, and totally was suppose to win. When he sang Johnny Cash, or Elvis, he turned it to his song. I would SO buy his CD, especially if he recorded that Johnny Cash song.

I have read up on the internet news shit, and they say there was controversy last Tuesday night when people were making calls on his numbers, they recvd recordings from other contestants thanking for the vote! Makes you wonder, , , , , , , , hmmmmm since Chris already was a star, did they fix it so he would be off and open the way for somebody else?

I also think Chris needs to forget Fuel. Their style, yes, is like his, but it is strictly that. He showed versitality in his solo singing on Idol, therefore, I think he would be MUCH more successful in a solo career.

Anyway, my feathers done got ruffled last week, and Idol just wasnt the same without him on there. I didnt vote last night, cause I was torn between Elliot and Taylor. If'n I could'da voted somebody OFF, I would'da voted Katharine off.

Amazing Disappearing Blog

2006-05-16T07:45:00.001-05:00

Come one Come All

See the amazing disappearing blog

LOL

I dont know what happened to all 10 of my W items, and I was purty proud of that list dadgummit. Oh well, chalk er up ta just one more weird event that happened on blogspot.

Now, I cant see the color chart for the fonts. I hope this comes up black.

fugggin problems, man.
ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

MMM - The Letter W

2006-05-15T07:19:00.000-05:00

MeMeMonday - I shore nuf was tagged by Le Chat Qui A Peur Friday, and she done gived me the letter W. I thunk hard on this'un, and I thoughts it wudda been easier, maybe so hadnt she gave me an easier letter! UGH Well, here goes - 10 things abouts me usin the letter W.

1. WARM
I likes all things warm from weather to colors. Hell, I even drinks my soda kinda warm. The only thing I likes cold is milk and beer, and they hasta be ice cold. But, back to warm: I loves me some warm sunny days in the spring, summer and fall. Hot is not warm, I hates it when it is too hot. My favorite colors that I wear (other than my favorite black) are warm, and I also decorate in these colors: red, orange brown, moss, gold, dark purples, dusky colors. Hell I even likes my smells that way too cause I loves sandlewood and musky earthy smells, the flowery ones gag me. Well, cept lilacs. I love lilacs.

2. WICKED AND WACKY
Thats me in a nutshell. My sense of humor and my personality. I am a huge goof and I loves ta make people smile. There, thatun was easy. Wicked also could explain other traits.

3. WALLFLOWER
I didnt used to be all wicked and wacky. When I was a kid, I was the lanky long legs knees bigger than any other bone in body kid. I looked like a geek. I was afraid of people and socializing. I WAS the last kid picked on a team, any sport, in elementary school. My best friend made the cheerleader, I did not, subsequently, she ended up going with that crowd and forgetting me. All the neighborhood kids that I runned with, I loved Scott. Scott wasnt a wallflower, and never did look twiced at me, cept to play kick the can or to say hi. I decided when I was the fugly duckling
that if'n I ever got some meat on my bones, got purty, and made something myself, I'da never treat anybody that they was different.

4. WASH
I am a clean freak. I wash my teeth maybe 4 time

Why God Made Mommas

2006-05-12T08:45:00.000-05:00

Another email that I done received of late, I share this because I am too dang gum busy to blog after takin the day off yesterday to git my teeth worked on. I promise next week I will git back atcha with some original Doodah bloggin.

Answers was given by 2nd graders to the following questions :

Why did God make mothers?
1. She the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like I was made. Just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats alot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic; they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY !!!

no I didnt forget HNT

2006-05-11T16:48:00.000-05:00

yes I know it is HNT.

I am protesting Chris being voted off

American Idol last night.

That completely SUCKS.

That, and I had major dental work done this morning,

3hrs 25 minutes with my mouth open.

The Bourbon and Coke isnt helping much. . . . . .

yet. . . . . . . but I cannot feel my toes anymore.

then I didnt like my toenail color so I paintbrushed

them to match my shoes.

I am woman, I can do that, hear me ROAR

hee hee heeeee YEE FUCKIN HAW!

Doo Dah's Friendly Reminder . . .

2006-05-10T08:11:00.000-05:00

. . . ta git your Momma something - Momma's day is SUNDAY.

Momma Day is the MOST IMPORTANT day there is.

If'n ya gettin her a card, get the gadammm card in the mail TODAY ya freak.

Here is ta my Momma:

1. My momma done taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If ya goin ta kill each other, go an do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My momma done taught me RELIGION.

"Ya'll better pray that will come out of that there carpet."

3. My momma shore nuf taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If'n ya don't straighten yer ass up, I'ma goin to knock ya clean ta the middle of next week!"

4. My momma done taught me LOGIC.

"Because I says so, that's why."

5. Then my momma taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If'n ya fall out of that there swing and break yer neck, ya not going to the store with me an carry the groceries fer me."

6. My momma taught me FORESIGHT.

"Ya'll make sure yer wearin clean underwear, jus'in case yer in an accident or sumptin."

7. My momma shore did teach me IRONY.

"Keep on'a crying, and I'll be givin ya sumptin ta cry about."

8. My momma did taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut yer mouth and eat yer supper."

9. My momma even teached me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will ya jus' look at that there dirt on the back of yer neck and behind yer ears!"

10. My momma done taught me about STAMINA.

"Ya'll sit there until all that liver'n onions is plumb gone."

11. My momma shore did teach me about WEATHER.

"This here room of yourn looks lik'a dammed tornada went clean through it."

12. My momma tried ta teach me about HYPOCRISY.

"If'n I tole you oncest, I've done tole ya a million times. Don't be exaggeratin!"

13. My momma done taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I done brought ya into this here world, and I shore nuf can take ya out."

14. My momma teached me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop actin up like yer daddy!"

15. My momma taught me all about ENVY.

"There er millions of less fortunate children in this here world who shore nuf don't be havin' wonderful parents like ya'll do."

16. My momma did taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just ya wait til we gits home."

17. My momma shore did taught me about RECEIVING.

"Ya'll are going to git it when ya gits home!"

18. My momma done taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If'n ya don't stop that there crossing yer eyes, they's gonna get stuck that way."

19. My momma teached me ESP.

"Put yer jacket on, doan'cha think I knows when yer cold?"

20. My momma shore nuf taught me HUMOR.

"When that there lawn mower cuts yer foot off, don't ya'll come a-running ta me."

21. My momma did teached me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If'n ya don't be eatin yer vegetables, ya'll never grow up and git outta here."

22. My momma taught me GENETICS.

"Yer just like yer dog-gum daddy."

23. My momma did teach me all about my ROOTS.

"Shut that there door behind ya! Ya'll think ya's born in a barn?"

24. My momma done taught me WISDOM.

"When ya gits ta be my age, ya'll understand."

And my favorite:

25. My momma shore nuf was right when she taught me about JUSTICE.

"It'll be yer turn in the bucket, one day ya'll have kids, and I knows they'll turn out jus like ya"

Illegal Immigration Bullshit

2006-05-09T08:08:00.000-05:00

Ok.

I was watchin the television last night, and there was this there thing on this immigration debate goin on in the United States.

To me, it is a STUPID arguement and here is why.

There is already a law on the books that defines legal immigrants and illegal immigrants. Illegal means just that - ILLEGAL - AGAINST THE LAW.

If'n ya wants ta live in the United States of America, then Goddammmit, do it legally.

PLAIN AND FUCKIN SIMPLE AS THAT. If'n ya is doing it illegally, then ya is breakin the laws of this land ya wants to live in so frickin bad, and you DO NOT DESERVE THAT RIGHT. PERIOD.

from NPR: There are more than 11 million undocumented immigrants living in the United States, and more arrive each day - - putting a strain on health and education services, but also filling low-wage jobs in the US economy.

God Bless America,

Land that I love.

Stand beside her,

and guide her

Thru the night with a light from above.

From the mountains,

to the prairies,

To the oceans,

white with foam

God bless America,

My home sweet home.

MeMe Monday

2006-05-08T07:12:00.000-05:00

Elmer and I had a good weekend. I has done put aside my anger and just cut loose.

Cinco de Mayo was messed up this year because of Ellie Mae's dance, so we had a party at home! The boys put on swim trunks, Hawaiian shirts left open, straw hats. John Boy was jealous of Elmer's chest hair, so we cut some from the back of his head and pasted it on his chest. It was a RIOT!!!!!!!

We made chicken tacos and homemade margueritas and tossed shots of Herendura. (well, Elmer and I did, the kids werent allowed Tequila.) Ellie and I cut flowers from my garden and stuck them behind our ears. We had flowery sundresses on and found the Mexican channel on satellite radio. Ya know, it really was quite fun!

Between Elmer and I, we got a shitload of stuff done around here over the past 2 weekends. I had a blowup last week at him, and told him to git his shit together and offa his ass. Guess he took me serious, cause he has been workin like a dang dog round here doing stuff! I rewarded him Saturday night, and got a feel-good O of my own ((wink wink)).

Yesterday, we skipped church (highly unusual for me to allow) and slept with the windows open. Well, that cool breeze and birds chirpin and shit, well, I went for another O, and them morning Os are DAMMMM GOOD! ((hee hee hee)) We kinda got things done and still played a tad lazy. it was kinda that kind a day.

Well, here is ta ya'll and I shore hopes ya'll have a wonderful week!

I Hates Fightin but I Will Not B a Target

2006-05-05T10:58:00.000-05:00

ahhhh, my dear L, but I believe that I know you better than most.

You are correct, Ch, dont like it dont read it, and I didnt read L's blog for several days, biting my tongue.

Curiosity got the cat, I guess, because knowing L the way that I do, I really thought he would be the good guy and admit and/or delete, but I came back to blaming others and the pals knowing everything.

You see, I agree with ya'll that L is deep and really a great dude. I was simply disappointed he blamed others. Why did he jump to the stark and fast conclusion that he was done with blogging, before this all erupted, you ask?

L knows. And so do I.

As far as the rest of ya that jumped to a conclusion about me, oh well, my life and blog goes on. I really am sorry that you feel that way.

So, I say to you all, and especially L, may peace be with you. And as K says....BLOG ON!

Friday Frivolity - Black Russians being Served

2006-05-05T09:18:00.000-05:00

Ok ya'll, belly up to the bar.

Today, the house is serving

BLACK RUSSIANS.

Ingredients:
1 1/2 oz Vodka
3/4 oz Kahlua

Preparation:
Pour over ice cubes in old-fashioned cocktail glass.

Serves: 1

Fucks you UP, shit, it is only booze and ice.

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERBODY.

And, ya'll better not laugh at my Black Russian Dude,

I had a helluva time painting that hat on.

addendum 2:30cst:

OK OK OK. . . . . YES I KNOW it is May 5. I sorry, but I chose to serve Black Russians this morning to get me kick started, and we are heading out for Margs and Sangrias - chips and salsa dancing later.

O'LE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HHNT! Back In Black

2006-05-04T13:42:00.000-05:00

Back in black
I hit the sack
I've been too long
I'm glad to be back
Yes I'm
let loose
from the noose
That's kept me hangin' about
I been livin like a star
'cause it's gettin' me high
Forget the hearse
'cause I never die
I got nine lives
cat's eyes
abusing every one of them and running wild

10 Weirdest Thangs 'bout Me

2006-05-03T16:47:00.000-05:00

Ok, I have been officially tagged for the first time, TWICED! Erika and Le Chat Qui A Peur got me at one time. I have always just stole the shit before LOL - now somebody wuvs me ((sniffle / wipes tear))

They is close, Erika's was 20 things about me, Le Chat's was 10 WEIRD things about me. So, I pick Le Chat's because there just hain't 20 things that dammm interesting 'bout me, but there shore nuf is 10 WEIRD things. . . .some other time, k Erika?

THE 10 WEIRDEST THINGS ABOUT DOO DAH

1. I wear only thongs. An I dont be meaning my flipflops, I mean my undies. But, when Aunt Flo does come knockin on the door, it puts me in a pissy ole mood because for 3 ta pert near 4 days, I has ta wear them ole granny panties. Dont get me a started, now honey-child. hrmph I hates hates hates panty lines, they bug the shit outta me I am diggin at em all the time.

2. I do love runny eggs and hashbrowns all mixed up like my Great Grampa used to do. I dont even minds doin it in a restaurant, but shore hafta glare back at the people who gives me funny looks when I wipe my chin. I know what some ya thinking so - EGGS YOLK YA PERVERTS!

3. I own my own business. That I like. I like bein boss-lady to the girls I employ, and I dang shore takes care of them - I carry them out ta lunches and give them bonuses when they do a little extra above and beyond. Thing of it is, I hate what I do fer a livin. I have been doin this most my life as I took care it for my Momma and Daddy whilst they owned their own store, I worked the books. I am bored to tears with Accounting and sittin at this here desk.

4. I is the buckyest person ya'll ever meet. One my nicknames Elmer call me is Tigger, cause when I get excited and all, I starts jumpin, bouncin dancing and shit, makes Elmer laugh his fool ass off. Weird thing is, that I has problems with depression. Guess that makes me a maniac-depressed person, real high highs and extreme lows.

5. I have long legs. I mean REALLY long. 36 inch inseam long. My assend goes clean up to Elmer's ribcage. Elmer, on the other hand, does have short'ens and a real long long torso.

6. I hate my face, although I has been told I am beautiful and look like Julia Roberts. Is that really weird, cause dont all women hate their own appearance? I hate my dark circles under my eyes, my ski slope nose, my almost Indian but mostly Sweedish skin color, I hate my thin wispy straight as a fucking string mousy dirt brown hair. UGH! Can I just PLEASE be somebody else??

7. I carry my camera everyfuckinwhere. I even carried one time into church out of habit, and the priest raised his eyebrow disapprovingly at me, so I stuffed it in my daighter's purse. Ya just dont know when you might hafta snap a photo. Ya'll might have seen my photo blog, I swear I have 10frickinthousand photos in my pc not of outdoors things.

8. I am the most loyal, brutally honest, wear my heart on my sleeve person ya'll will ever meet. I say what I think, I mean what I say, I do what I tell you I will do, and I hate it when people trash other people and I dont mind tellin them. That makes me less in your eyes, then I dont have a problem tellin ya to fuck yerself. How dare you talk about others when you havent walked in their shoes. Look in the mirror lately? God shore nuf did not make a one of us perfect. We all has flaws, and I loves all ya until you talk about somebody's physical attributes in a poor way. Then, I totally has no respect for ya.

9. I was the bone skinny awkward geeky girl in High School, and after goin to my 20 yr reunion, I ended up to be the nicest lookin and prettiest of the adult women. All the men were like DANG. "I learned the truth at Seventeen, that love was meant for beauty queens"

10. I am an avid Pittsburgh Steeler fan. I mean stark raving mad avid. I BLEED BLACK AND GOLD. And, I am not a fly-by-night Steeler fan, just because they won the Superbowl. I have liked them since I was a kid. Could be, MAYBE, could be that my brother was a Dallas fan and I had to root for the other team.

NOW, my turn to tag somebody - I choooooose . . . . . POODY, MOLLY and NON-BLONDE.

A-B-C-DooDah

2006-05-03T14:07:00.000-05:00

Accent
I have done been told that I have a lovely blend of Southern-Northern, but that has been by mostly Southerners. When I go back home up North, they laugh every time I talk. (and FYI, this way that I blog, well, it might be a tad put on for kicks grins and giggles)

Booze of choice
Margueritas and San't Gria
Several choices of wine, Pinot Noir mostly
Lately, I have craved Baily's, tho, and have opted for that over ice.

Chore I hate
Putting the clothes away.
I dont mind washin them, I just fuckin hate putting the shit away.

Dog or Cat
Slutpuppie Ruby
6 birds
had 12 rabbits, now down to 3
multitudes of other critters runnin loose round here.

Essential electronics
Digital Camera and this computer
VCR cause I never sit long enough to catch a full eppy of my favs: AI, LOST and GH

Favorite perfume
Now, this is where the redneck in my goes flyin out the window, cause I shore do have expensive taste in this subject:
When I feel springy, I love Jessica McClintock because it smells like a lilacs and honeysuckle. When I am in my suits, I enjoy wearing Organza Indecence Eau De Parfum by Givenchy. Sultry mood - I toss on BVLGARI Eau De Parfum.

Gold or Silver?
14k Gold

Hometown
I would rather just say A City In The Midwest

Insomnia?
Not very often.

Job Title
Owner / President / CEO

Kids?
Ellie is 12 and John Boy is 13
I live, die and breathe for them

Living Arrangement
20 acres and large farm home we all are renovating

Most-admired trait
Honesty and Loyalty

Naughty or Nice?
Nice, but naughty

Overnight Hospital Stays
Several and I hate them

Phobias
Snakes and spiders

Quote
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." (Mother Teresa)

Religion
Devout Catholic

Siblings
I have one little brother who is a huge dude (6'5" football player type)

Time I wake up
5:50am

Unusual talent/skill
I can wiggle my nose like Samantha / Bewitched

X-rays
Yes

Yummy foods I make
I love cooking, I especially love Bowtie Pasta and Bacon with Spinach
I favor myself a Paula Deen type

Zodiac sign
Leo

I'm tagging YOU WHO READ THIS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doo Dah's Chitter Chat

I is plum wore out

immaturity

76 Trombones . . .

PINK OCTOBER

~~ Only in Memfrika ~~

I has nuttin ta say :-(

Thank yer lucky stars peoples

the stove

Happy FriDooDay LOL

I'm Back, Back in the DooDah Groove

I ALIVE!!!

ugh...goin back to bed

It all about the Doo

*grumble* I AM NOT OLD i tell ya

No Words Wednesday

Tell the Truth Tuesday #2

Tell the Truth Tuesday

lost marbles

Friday5 ORANGE

Don't go an' cheat on us southern womens

I got my jersey on already

DOOPINION: sexist pig media HRRMPH

No Words Wednesday

awww, fug.

you done sexxxed me up & I's addicted.

like a bad habit

Death in the Family

My Rednekker Sistas

Sexin Up Wabbits Email

7 Step Program Needed

cHiLdhOoD mEmoRieS

Musical Monday: My Cake Is Meltingggggg

Rock Magnet

Critter in the Attic

DOOPINIONS

~*~be right back~*~

Friday Feast # 137

I derned glad I is a woman

Critter Wisdom

Musical Monday: Farmer Hoggatt

Friday Feast # 136

I have no words

Sombody come clean my house

Sex inna Middle of the Night

I forgot my Friday Feast........135

howDEE!!!!!!!!

the return of DOO ~ Friday March 16

blog leave of absence

ok - ok - just one more b4 I leave....

I am offffffffffffffffff!

My neighbor

I is a Blog Slacker. . . . .

Every Woman...

RED FRIDAY / Friday Feast 102

M.I.A.

Galloping Pig?

UGH

Red Friday

HNT - Soap Up My Back??

I'll keep my little ones

A Jordanian View of my Troop Support

RED FRIDAY

A Good List

HNT 2 Feet Firmly off the Ground

RIP Eddie the dog

Doo's prayer Ditty for the Day

Alphabet Soup

Doo is BACK

Thanks everybody

More observations

Answers - some anyway

HNT- the nekked truth

tear

Sadness

Big Ben

Pass The Bucket Weekend

Friday Feast #97

HNT lookie lookie

More Upliftance ((snicker))

Only in Memfrika

grumble I AM NOT OLD i tell ya

~~be right back~~